Darkest Jokes Novels & Stories

I narrated with a croaky voice that definitely made me sound like a homicidal maniac. Billy's eyes opened wide as he stared at me catatonically. "Please stop!" He pleaded in fear. I laughed hard as I knew that I'd gotten him good. He sneered at me contemptuously as I mocked his discomfort. "It's not funny..." He protested. "Actually it is... Maybe you're just too nerdy, that's why your brain can't process dark humor." I shot at him. Proud of myself for successfully terrorizing him, I turned the chair around and leaned back while I watched him.

I can't help but giggle, enticed by the thrill of wanting him even though I shouldn't. "Doesn't that mean the sex will be better?" Mary's mouth falls open. "Wow, you're officially lost your mind." I clutch my stomach as I sink down into my pillow, unable to contain my laughter. My friend takes everything too seriously sometimes, although I suppose I'm only slightly making fun of her. Part of it is kind of true... "I'm just joking," I push her shoulder playfully, although she still stares me down knowingly. "He's my mate, it's going to happen some time, and even though I have my reservations about my future, why can't I have fun until I figure this all out?"

he teased. I choked on my own saliva and glared at the sorry excuse of my fvcking best friend who was laughing his ass off. “Choked on someone’s c*m ?” he guffawed followed by a screeching “OWWWW” and I did not feel even an ounce of guilt when I burned his nasty butt with a shot of purple fire of Dark Arts. “You b*tch,” Zane cursed while using the power of Dark Arts himself to cool his grilled ass and to cover up the torn patch of his cargoes.

And they all laughed. Hahaha, very funny, so funny I can't stop laughing :-| . Wow, I've never heard a better joke in my entire life. *insert eye roll*. Lowkey hospital jokes were really lame. And doctors don't fucking know how to joke, most of them have absolutely no sense of humor whatsoever. "Your child is fine. Ha, you wish, April fool's, your child only has two days to live." What is the name of a lab coat with that lame humor?

"Now that deserves a SANDing-ovation. I was afraid I was going to have to use some CAMEL-flage to get out of here. I was just SHORE things were going to end badly. Now I am hungry. You know what I want?" The other men started. "A…a SANDwich?" Renat asked, unsure of what to do with the jolly general. "Precisely! And don't forget DEsSERT," Junayd laughed. "But don't try to SAND by me to me when it comes to jokes. You will always come up a few GRAINs short." The boy shrugged and gave the General a sidelong glance. "I have found that all jokes about deserts fall under DRY humor. But perhaps that is because one has to be deserted to fully appreciate them."

This is the first time to see him, in a better view, but I kept my chin up and stay tough. "When someone has found himself, tied and blindfolded inside a dark room, with someone hovering over him. Look at your wrist, it's bruised. Do you really think you could trust, and just ask to go home? Silly." He smirked and took a step, making me scrunch my face in confusion as he burst out laughing. It's getting really annoying.

He wore dark red shorts and a red armband around his left arm “ You tried. You exceeded my expectations. Who knew this party will turn out great?” “Get out of here with your silly talk before I drown you in that sea." Daniel laughed, poking his friend in the ribs. “ Let me see how your own birthday party will be like." “ It will make sense. I guarantee that."Jake said cockily, a smug look in his face.

These jokers surely had to come soon, they only gave us enough food for a couple days. We were deep in a game of Bull Shit, one of my favorite card games when we heard someone. We both clung to each other and waited. After several locks and a bunch of noise, the door opened and there stood three guys, all in black with ski masks on. Sorry asses, can’t even show their faces. “You!” The guy pointed at Eve. We held each other tight. He walked toward her with a newspaper, shit he was going to do a ransom video or something, I’ve seen these on TV.

Even if it was, I desperately wanted it to be a nightmare that could never be the truth. However, look at my luck, it was true, the dark truth about me that I killed my one and only friend, my best friend, Jiahn Kang. She was in a lot of pain, pleading, begging me to spare her life. Was this really me? A person who could never see her loved ones in pain and here I was, the one who killed her own best friend, a best friend who was more than an elder sister to her.

“Hey, no brooding. This is an adventure, not a prison sentence. Let me distract you.” She turned to him, her expression wary. “What are you going to do? Tell me one of your terrible jokes?” “You wound me,” he said, clutching his chest dramatically. “But yes. Absolutely.” He cleared his throat, adopting a serious tone. “Why don’t skeletons fight each other?” Riele blinked, momentarily thrown off. “Why?” “Because they don’t have the guts.” The joke was terrible. Absolutely awful. But Riele burst into laughter anyway, the tension in her chest breaking apart with each giggle. Jay grinned, triumphant, as if her joy were his greatest victory.