Funny Adult Jokes

Christmas is the most magical time of the year, right? That may be true for most people but not Julia. Julia has never had an easy life, she has been homeless for as long as she can remember and now she is raising a three-year-old the same way. She wants more for them both but she has no way of changing things, besides she's soon going to have to leave the only place that she's ever called home to keep them both safe. If anyone finds out her secret her world will be blown apart and that's something that she can't allow to happen. Riley has had the best life imaginable. He has loving parents, grandparents and his best friend Joshua has been by his side since he was a young child. He also runs several successful businesses and has everything he wants in life except for one thing... love. He wants someone to love, to cherish but his past still has a tight grip on him and holds a secret that not even he knows about. What will happen when both worlds collide? Can Julia get the Christmas that she has always dreamed of for her and her little girl? Can Riley learn to forget his past so that he can move forward and when Juila's secret is revealed and blows both of their worlds apart, will it bring them together or tear them even further apart and destroy Julia's world, just like she has always feared it would?

19 years ago a child was born from a ritual her parents made to Moon Goddess. Goddess was very satisfied with them and soon the couple had a baby. But she was not some normal girl.That caused her parents death. One unfortunate day took away her parents from her. Her parents hide her from the enemies. That day her parents were killed. The girl was taken by the beta couple who wanted a daughter but never had one and was name Alex. 19 years passed since the unfortunate day ,the girl grew up with her brother after her parents died. Her pack members bullied and abused her but after her mother's death everything changed. Nothing can dim her sparks. She takes revenge in her own unique ways .She vowed that she will never let another soul walk upon her. She never wanted a mate but the fate has other idea. They both meet by a prank. But she didn't know it will lead her to her mate . Let just say she wanted to bury him alive. This story is full of mysteries, tragedy, love ,hatred and comedy.

Zane is a werewolf and his planet was destroyed by vampires. His mother sent him to Earth, the planet of humans, just before their planet was destroyed. Zane was a young werewolf and he didn't know how to survive on his own, in a planet of humans, but then, he found an orphanage and his life changes

So there I was, stuck in this dark Victorian mansion for a whole freaking century, thinking I'd never get out. Then, out of nowhere, these two gorgeous girls swoop in and rescue me! I couldn't believe it, and we instantly hit it off. They showed me a whole new world I'd only ever imagined, and I was all about living a normal human life.   But just when I thought things were looking up, this vampire named Vivaldi pops up out of thin air, grinning like a possessed Jack-o'-lantern. I mean, a name like Vivaldi is bound to give you the creeps, right? He claimed I had some ancient first blood running through my veins and demanded that I sign some crazy blood contract with him—the kind of deal that comes with some seriously freaky consequences.   Vivaldi was trying to sell me the idea that this blood contract was his only lifeline, the only way to save his skin from something worse than death. But I wasn't some clueless newborn vamp; I knew better than to just dive into something as serious as a blood contract. Those things come with some heavy consequences, and I wasn't about to sign up for that without a second thought.   The problem was, if I didn't go along with his messed-up plan, he promised to make my friends' lives a living hell—the very people I'd started to care about. I was trapped between a rock and a hard place. If I decided to team up with Vivaldi, I'd be keeping him around, which is far from ideal. But if I refused, my friends and the whole town of Shadowvale would be in serious danger.    It felt like I was caught in this impossible situation, like I was trying to choose between two rotten apples.

Jadie is the only daughter of the Beta family. The youngest of three, Jadie feels out of place in her home. When she decides to move across country to find herself, the last thing she expected to happen was for her to not only run into her mate, but to be rejected by him too. With a clouded vision of her future, the only way Jadie can be pulled out of her gloomy state is to befriend his best friend and Alpha, Lincoln. With Lincoln’s help, Jadie adventures to find her new version of normal and fulfill the true reason she moved to Michigan. Along the way, secrets of Lincoln’s are revealed that make her realize they are a lot closer than she ever thought.

The childs gone. The dreams gone. I've become comfortably numb Valentina Lombardi has been through a lifetime of trauma throughout her years. From her absentee, abusive father who's neglected her all her life to her even more abusive legal guardian who's been the one to traumatize her. A trip to what she sees as her second bedroom, the police station, takes a turn of events with a piece of information she receives that changes everything. Zane Marino, leader of the Marino mafia, and Raul Romano, one of his top men. Dead. The two men who've destroyed her are now out of her life, a miracle to her. Now, she's being thrown into the custody of her eight older brothers she never knew she had. Her biological family. Not to mention, her eldest brother who's now her legal guardian, also happens to be the leader of the Sicilian mafia. Her "father's" pure enemy. What happens when she has to learn to deal with the infamous, ruthless Lombardi brothers, the ones she was raised to hate? Marino through adoption and Lombardi by blood. A dangerous mix. Throw trauma, boys, secrets, and utter chaos into the mix. How will it all play out when her inner demon's come to the surface, making everything unravel right under her two feet?

She's a young Christian of 24yrs who tragically lost her father at 10yrs. She's ambitious that's why she immigrated to America. Her ambitiousness doesn't only push her to immigrated, it also made her work for Declan. She's brave, innocent, sensitive, ambitious and focus that's why when confronted with a choice between her siblings financial safety and her believes she's lost monumentally. He's perfect, sexy as hell, Richer than the word rich and arrogant than the devil himself, with all this perfection in appearance he still has some vacuum, he isn't perfect as he needs others to believe, Declan was diagnosticated with erectile dyfunctioning at a very young age. What will happen when two opposite individuals meet? can two site of a coin really meet? How will they survive without intercourse?

Cassandra Johnson is Pixie. Pixie is Cassandra Johnson. She's the same girl who's leading two extremely different lives. Nobody would suspect the school's nerd as Pixie. 'Cause Pixie's a street fighter badass and the nerd does not have a single badass bone in her body. The chances of people discovering this peculiar secret is close to none but of course this is where fate inserts the certified new boy into the equation and makes an exception for him. Warning: heavy flow of profanities ahead. - and tears - or so I've heard.

Lucille is beautiful, smart, kind, and rich. Unfortunately, she is also brokenhearted. Having her heart and whole life shattered to pieces, she vows never to fall in love again. But when love knocks on her door once more, in the form of two drop dead, panty-melting gorgeous men, Lucille decides that this time, she will be the ultimate playgirl. Japer, a playboy, finds it astonishing when a girl did not swoon at the sight of him. More so when she told him she only wants to be friends or if he wants, friends with benefits. What happens when the playboy falls in love and is now the one being played? Boo is a super powerful tycoon. He's rich beyond limits but despite all his power, like his name, he feels like a hollow lifeless ghost. A girl changes all this when she makes him see how fun life can be, especially because he has all the money in the world. But can money buy him her love?

Sext Buddy: [I’d do anything to fuck you right now.] Alicia: [I want you so bad too…really.] During the summer, Alicia has been sexting with a total stranger in hopes that she’d never meet him. At the beginning of college, her mum tells her that they have a guest. She meets the stranger she was constantly sexting. But then, what happens when the stranger is her cousin?