Funny Deer Blind Dad Jokes Novels & Stories

Even Hunter was being a complete sweetheart, and that was why we were here sitting at my parents' table having a family dinner. "So tell me, why can't the leopard hide?" Dad asked, putting down his fork. Mom let out a groan. "Not again, Joseph!" I let out a chuckle as old memories revived in my mind. "Why, dad?" Dad ran his eyes over us curious spectators. "Because he's always spotted!" Mom and I bursted out laughing. "Another one, another one. What did the baby corn ask the mama corn?" "Where's popcorn?" I replied with a smug.

“Vale!" Shaking my head, I tried to control my laughter. “Her joke, not mine. She’s more crass than I am. She used to derail my dad so bad when he would slip up.” I mimicked my dads voice. “‘Why can’t see what I’m trying to do?’ ‘Because I can’t see you, nitwit.’ His whole argument would go out the window.” Jess laughed. “Christ. I don’t think I could have handled it.” “Seriously though, what are you doing up here?” I looked at her seriously.

It's just that my dad is always joking around when he's at home but one should also be serious in life and my dad looks even more funnier when he does that. "I don't know!", I answered and frowned. I really didn't know why my mom is being so excited like that! "I know!", dad whispered and motioned at me to lean a little bit forward. "Your mom found a new best friend who is as insane as she is and they would like to live happily ever after!", he whined girlishly and tried to imitate mom's voice. The keyword being tried here! He failed lol! He actually sounded like a newborn koala!

“The fact that your father probably killed one of my brothers and wants me to see a dead body, or the fact that I had to eat a deer with a much alive-looking face?!” “That wasn’t alive,” he stated calmly. “Is it because you had a deer as a child?” I widened my eyes. I had no idea why it still surprised me when I found out he knew more about me than I could imagine. I did have a deer when I was seven. Father went hunting once and brought back five deer. I begged to have one of them. The tiniest one. Father agreed.

Javi laughed hysterically, “farmer Rae?? Yeah I can really picture you out there, slaughtering chickens.” Well I do love to eat some chicken so I guess I’d be a hypocrite if I couldn’t. My mind flashed back to the time I went out into the garage once during deer season, and dad had a deer hanging upside down that he was butchering. I ran right into the house and threw up. “I mean, it can be a whole big place. We can have a garage and teach people how to be mechanics, we can have a salon and teach that trade, oh my god Javi the possibilities are endless.”

Ian lowered his head, and the moment he read those words, his pupils shrank to pinpricks. I stared at him, my voice uncannily flat. "After Mom passed away, I handled her funeral arrangements all by myself. I kept watch over her casket on my own. What were you doing at the time? You were paving the way for Eugene, playing house with Elena, and wishing Mom and I would just disappear!" Right after I said that, tears finally welled up in my eyes. However, I refused to let them fall.

As I stood in front of the mirror and admired my curvaceous figure, I remembered that Dylan and I didn't even have a wedding ceremony in our past life. That was when Dylan suddenly appeared in the dressing room, glaring sinisterly at me. "You really have an appetite, able to stomach someone as old as my father!" I chuckled and retorted without qualms, "At least he's much more virile in bed than you are." Dylan's face turned ashen instantly, his hands clenching into knuckles. "Were you reborn too? I get it—you're just feeling upset, that's why you chose my dad. But you'd definitely regret it!"

Dad cut the doctor off on time before the doc could start d*cking about complicated medical shit with terms we could not understand. “Try to save your breath, doctor coz we understand only English,” Dad grinned and the doctor rightfully turned beetroot red. “Spare us the scientific nonsense, ex lover. Don’t show everyone that show off is your middle name,” Mom exasperatedly said. Ex lover ? Woah !! No wonder Dad jokes about Doctor Anderus stabbing him on the examination table. Haha.

When my joke lands she tilts her head back to laugh, shaking her head as she looks at me. "You're ridiculous." She says. "You're smiling." I respond. She gives me that warm look again and I wonder what's going through her mind at this moment. "You got any other ones?" She asks and I wrack my brain for any other dad jokes. "Um... The circus lion ate the clown but didn't finish." I say. "Why?" She asks. "Because he tasted funny." I respond and Harper chuckles again. "More." She teases, but I just shrug.

“He’s not in his suit, grandma! And he’s been staying here for a long time. And he has beards growing… my friend from school said his Dad lost his job and so he stopped taking care of himself… and now he has a gut! And he drinks. Are you going to get a gut, Dad?” I’m almost dying from how hard I laugh, by the time he’s done with his explanation. Mom and Dad look fondly at Jared as he gazes at me with the most concerned face he could muster. When I recover from my laughing fit, I turn to him. “Buddy, not all people who loose their jobs get a gut… but I’ll tell you a secret…” I tell him, gesturing for him to come closer. He looks genuinely happy to be hearing my secret even though I speak out