Funny Dumb People Novels & Stories

They couldn't believe the daughter they were so proud of would do something so… filthy and immoral. George was shaking in rage. He stepped ahead, trying to confront Zack, but he shoved George into the shoe cabinet. "Ms. Sampson's villa doesn't let homeless people in. I can't believe you're her father-in-law. Look at you. Even a homeless guy wears better than you." Zack scoffed. Mockery was oozing from his tone. George was groaning in pain, and color was draining from his face. I held him and called the maid to help us out. This was an emergency.

He was a dignified Protector of Divine Constabulary and an expert who was infinitely close to the Advanced-Earth rank, yet they called him the dumbest human. “You people have a death wish!” shouted Sky as he struggled vigorously and jumped with the bucket, but he could not jump out of it. The short one laughed. “Look! I’ve never seen such an idiot before!” The other one said, “Brother, is he trying to sh*t but he couldn’t find the toilet?” “Probably. He still has his pants on. What a dumb*ss to sh*t with his pants on! Let’s go!” Sky was angry. He yelled, “Open!”

I step two steps closer to him, “It's not like you to run your mouth when you know that you should shut the fuck up.” Then Summer comes up from behind, “Are you idiots making stupid jokes again?” “Why the fuck are you calling us idiots now?” Devan turns around as he faces her. “Cause daddy said you two are worse idiots than Beavis and Butthead.” “What the fuck does your dad know about Beavis and butthead?” “You want me to call you Laurel and Hardy then?” I only but burst out in hysterical laughter, “No, I prefer the one before. Mat has his head up his butt half of the time as it is.”

’’ Adamie clasped his palms together. ‘‘I’m definitely getting the booze!’’ Andy said. ‘‘Drunk mofo,’’ Adamie replied, ‘‘Y’all remember that time Andy’ got so drunk at Brian’s party then he puked on the buff DJ and got his ass beat?’’ All of them apart from Andy burst into laughter. ‘‘Well, I’m better than fat Robert who passed out after taking two Oxycontine pills then got a dick drawn on his plumpy cheeks.’’ Andy defended.

We always make it a point to never use our real names in public…well at least not our full names. "Will you guys just stop this? Agent Morgan will think you are psychopaths . Stop joking around for a second will you and don't keep bringing that fire up …it was just that one time ,it is not my fault that gas is so flammable," The two dummies tried to put on their serious faces as they waved at agent Morgan who was outside the bus looking at us exactly how we looked…demanted . Now you must be wondering why my friends would be joking around and smiling at the face of this horrible tragedy …simple , coping mechanism. You cannot deal with the things that we deal with on a daily basis without beco

I've just recently found out that I was switched at birth. Anthony Jefferson, the person who was raised in my place, and I end up joining an academic game show together—but he encourages everyone to ostracize me. "Sorry, Noah, but everyone on our team has a postgraduate degree. I don't think you'll fit in with us," Anthony says. Immediately, all the other contestants refuse to form a team with me. In fact, scathing remarks about me flood the internet, making me go viral. "Why did a brainless pretty boy like Noah Jefferson join an academic game show? He's obviously going to drag his teammates down!" "I heard he just returned to the family after spending his entire life in the countryside

She responded. Vivian and her friends laughed heartily at the funniest joke they just heard. “How do you manage to construct the sentence? Having yourself and confidence in the same sentence. Doesn't it sound lame to you?” She asked as she laughed again. “To a fool like you, it will sound lame. I can picture how it feels to be born by a whore and having an IQ close to nothing. I feel for you, but it's a pity I can't relate. After all, I never experienced what it means to have multiple men claim ownership of me.” She said with a smirk and her words successfully shut Vivian up.

"Neither do I." "So don't do something dumb," Justine said dismissively. "And things will get better." "Stupid in what way? Are you capturing alive rottens for some lunatic researcher to experiment on?" Peter inquired; his brow furrowed. "You better stop being a savvy ass here now, guy," Justine said, beaming. "Better to be a clever one than a foolish one," they both joked as they smiled at each other, and I felt much better about our predicament.

“ Cuckoo” “ Daffy” “ Lunkhead” “ Whacky” “ Zany” “ Loony” “ Kooky” “ Screwball” “ Half-baked” Hudson snapped. “ Inept” “ Daft” “ Dippy” “ Dotty” “ Birdbrain” Alvara snapped back. “ Chucklehead” “ Chowder head” “ Boobish” “ Airhead” “ Brain dead” “ Dense”

Human beings are fuck stupid. The same ones who are running this shit are the ones on the front lines fighting it. It's like the eighties all over again, when the biggest drug lords were the ones leading the war against drugs. Like I said, sheeple are dumb as a fucking stump. As long as some blowhard can string two sentences together and look halfway decent, they'd go to sleep feeling secure in the knowledge that someone who knows better is looking out for them. Little do they know that the watchman is the thief.