Funny Filipino Quotes Novels & Stories

" you can still watch it soon baby, right now Tay, Krist and I should gather all information and strategies that Mr. grey has so that we could use it with you guys" " what the hell" I returned to my senses when my phone suddenly vibrated Off is calling.. what should I do?.. should I answer it? But... " Hello?" (Marupok ka Gun * here in the Philippines we call a person MARUPOK, when the person is easy to tease with or in other terms WEAK.. here Gun, is marupok because instead of not answering the call he immediately swiped and answered it without even thinking 🤔🤔😒😒)

napalingon ako sakanya ng kalabitin niya ako "Ako ba kinakausap mo?" Takang tanong ko "Kakalabitin ba kita kung hindi?" "Bakit ba?" I tried to look pissed. Natamaan kasi ang ego ko nung nalaman ko na mas matalino siya kesa sakin. "You're cursing the rain, ba't ka galit sa ulan?" "Napakaingay" sagot ko. "Sino?" "Both of you. Ikaw at ang ulan. Napakaingay niyo"

malamyang sagot ng iba. Bigla tuloy napakunot ang noo ni Teacher Fernando at matalim kaming tinignan. “I don’t like your tones! I already said not to slack off you greenhorns! Are you all dumb, stupid, or plain dumb!? Now, do you all understand!” I blinked multiple times. “Yes Teacher Fernando!” all of us intensely responded at same time. Wow grabe naman, talagang inulit pa yung salitang dumb ng dalwang beses. I can’t help but to shiver silently.

He laughs but shuts up. “Ok, listen, while we are on the topic of quotes, I have some funny, sarcastic ones,” he says and opens his phone to read some. “Two wrongs, don’t make a right, take your parents as an example,” I laugh. I can use it on anyone who messes with my friends. “Tell me more,” I urge him. “Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs,” I chuckle.

"No. Alam mo? Mabuti pa iinom mo nalang muna 'yang init ng ulo mo ngayon. I'm sure you will like this coco juice they have here." Pagkasabi ko dun, I frowned when everyone around me except Mr. Del Fuero laughed at me, na para bang may nakakatawa akong sinabi. "Coco juice daw?" Pang-aasar na tanong ng isa sa mga kasamahan nito saka agad ng humalakhak ang mga ito, causing me to look at them with confused look. I wonder what got these men laugh like this.

SpellingI pummeled to misspell Astrosphinxas statuesque as May I sing with me? Words whiplashed on fire ice jeepneying with Saint Lazarus—the emperor of English over grasslilt parsing poison into ice creampoetry and screaming grammar noir.The narrative of tradition, beer-fellowedby cultural madness to digressand mull over a foamof savory crab fat alongsideour pickled come-what-mays. For this,‘Ikaw’ and ‘Ako’ separately are You and Me in Filipino, that by accident try to understand Taglish as nomadology

He knows that there will be a backlash when they find out that a child will tag along “bobo! Mas mapapakinabangan pa yata yan kaysa sayo! Meron din syang kasamang sanay sa kutsilyo” (stupid! He will be more useful than you! We also have a person who is more used in knife) the boss shivered in horror when he remember the girl with a piercing eyes and a sharp knife

nakayuko kong sabi "And why 'papaliguin pa kita" tang- "Hindi ka ba lalabas p*****a kang manyak hindi na ako bata para paluguan gago ka ba o sadyang may saltik ka lang talaga." inis kong sabi dito at lumapit sa kanya at nakipag titigan ng masama bago takpan ng unan ang mga underwear.

You know TT is the Filipino term for Penis. Pfttt! AHHAHHAHAHHA He's cute arghh! It's annoying because he looks like a teenager. "You know when I become your happy pill, you will overdose," I said randomly. “It's better that you help me check these requirements for us to wrap things as early as possible. Since you said you're my student assistant, it's your alibi, right? But, If you don't want to help me, then you better study hard while you're still on vacation.”

Could he be a scammer? : Kakaiba ka, hindi ako makapaniwala na makakaramdam ako ng ganito. (You're different, I couldn't believe I could feel this way.) I am shocked that he can speak Tagalog. I didn't think I could talk to anyone else who was good at Tagalog except Fritz, Ev, and my parents. : Are you Filipino? You can speak Tagalog... A few minutes passed without anyone replying so I just put my phone down again and closed my eyes.