Funny Ones Novels & Stories

"I knew right then she wasn't cut out for the big leagues." That was a recital when I was eight years old. It was my first time facing such a large audience, and I did get stage fright. But Rhys was the first one to rush onto the stage to comfort me back then. He told me, "Maeve, you played wonderfully. Those people just don't understand music." Now he was using it to humiliate me. Laughter echoed through the room, and my cheeks burned. He was mocking me in public, turning my past humiliation into a punchline.

Besides, they were just a group of unruly kids about the age of my own son. The boy whom they had really beaten up, was looking like someone attacked by a dozen kangaroos. His eyes were swollen and look very red. I could see pieces of his outfit on the ground, clearly ripped off by the three dummies that taunted him...still. “Apologise!” I yelled. They looked at me in surprise and then broke into laughter. “You want this the hard way.” One said as he slowly brought out his fangs and claws…in an attempt to scare me.

My eyes widened for a second, then I shook my head and brought myself to look at her with a frown. "Good point. Relationships are complicated, even when they end. Sometimes it's hard to let go I guess, huh?" "I think we know better than anyone." Liza giggled and nudged me in the ribs teasingly. I chuckled, and then we both burst into high pitched laughter. It's always so ironic how the most messed up shit is hilarious to laugh at in hindsight. What are we thinking, anyway? Staying around people who treat us like shit.

He knocked twice before walking into the office. *** The First One was staring at the prettiest one in the group and trying to look interested in the others but it was difficult resisting her charm. The First One made a joke and they all laughed. She was beautiful, gorgeous and perfect. The First One finished addressing the group and left them. He headed for the parking lot. Today had been quite an exhausting day. Just like the others, he was dedicating a lot of time towards knowing her. He already knew her turn-on, turn-off, taste, daily routines and even her bedtime.

And so, on and on ,like the osscilation of a pendulum, the disheartening piece of my bio churned while the sands of time dripped slowly and slowly as it watched my narration irks the soul of the spectators. That I thought, but it appeared to be nothing but a blunt lie. It was a revolving piece of gags and laughs. A piece of funny cake, a chunk of interesting cheese, a loaf of an adventurous bread and a real ginger to the spirits of the audience. They applauded.

He passed them to each of the kids one by one, and the room buzzed with laughter and thank-yous. I stood at the back, clutching the hem of my shirt, a sick feeling building in my stomach. Something bad was going to happen. I could feel it. It did. When Uncle Ray reached me, his hands were empty. He blinked, embarrassed. “Kellen, I am sorry. I miscounted this time and came up one short. I will make it up to you later, okay?” My whole body started to shake. I knew what was coming. Dad was going to lose it, and those words were going to come out of his mouth.

eat? "Then, the big fish said, 'I... like... to... eat... small... fish... that... talks... slowly.' "After that, the small fish said, 'Oh, no!'" Nobody made a sound after Stella told the joke. Stella also thought that it was kind of a bad joke. So, she coughed and said, "Is it not funny?" Vermont showed his support. "No, it's hilarious." However, Keegan said sarcastically, "Do you mean ridiculous?"

"Hahahaha!!!" They could have sworn that ever since they were born, they had not heard such a hilarious joke before. 'It is way too funny.' "What is this brat muttering? Within a second, he can make us see our own brains and its juices? I can't take it, I'm laughing so hard that I'm about to cry." A Rank 7 Evolved One looked at Lucas scornfully. "Hey brat, do you know that we're Rank 7 Evolved Ones?"

Wells for you. I smiled sheepishly as I replied to him, “what are you? My fairy godmother or fairy godfather? Or do you have eyes at the back of your head? Don’t go around saying things Mr. Wells or people are gonna think you’re weird” I didn’t really like the topic he was aiming for, so I wanted to avoid it, and it hurts more because he’s right.

It's pathetic! He dropped that bomb and strutted off before I could fire back. I could hardly believe my ears that such boneheaded words came from the man I have loved for years. His so-called 'cozy winter promos' were just a table with free cups of cheap black coffee and some giveaway gloves out front. The coffee often went cold, untouched, and those gloves ended up in the street bin. However, Seth, of course, thought they were pure gold. Somehow, I was the one cashing in on Lily's ideas!