Funny Random Sayings Novels & Stories

I said, giving him a mocking smile, "That sounds like something a typical man would say." “I like my version of the quote, especially because it’s wrong.”

"I am sorry; I didn't mean to call you uh-bitch. It just kind of, sort of came out and-" He laughed, his eyes crinkling with amusement. "It's okay. In fact even I can use it. Many people call me weird too." We are all a little weird in our own little weird way. That's what makes us different. I sighed, "Yeah sure. Wait! No. That's cheating, you can't steal my dialogue. Make one for yourself."

She accidentally let out a snort at that. “You know what my grandfather said to me before he died?” Alan tried again. “You literally already did this one.” “He said … stop shaking the ladder dammit!” Alan laughed. “You’re an idiot.” Emily said. “Hey. Emily. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?” “He said : Dam.” Alan laughed so much he was slapping his knee. “You do know these aren’t actually funny right?” Emily asked him. “Hey Emily…. What happens when two men walk out of the building and get into the truck?” Alan said.

"Does this mean I can expect turds landing on me every so often when I do or say something stupid?" I laugh again. "Oh, dragonbreath, you'll do or say something stupid every day. Between being green and turds landing on you, I've got you covered." Now it's Ashrac's laugh filling my head.

but suddenly it crashed out of my mouth, “Fuck man! fuck this shit!” The guy paused and his face became redder. “Did you just say fuck man?” Seeing the veins popping out of his forehead and neck, I lost my cool and involuntarily bursted into rounds of derisive laughter. “Stop laughing!! you moron” The guy bellowed angrily. “I’m not moron, I'm stiles” Fuck! fuck! stop replying, I said mentally and covered my mouth with my fingers so that words wouldn't crash out of my mouth again. It was as if anytime I think of something negative, it crashes out of my mouth.

She said that and I started dying on the floor, that was probably the funniest thing I've ever heard. "That is the fucking stoner spectrum!! Either you're a fucking Einstein or a fucking retard that tried to play baseball with a robot," I said, laughing through my words, causing Alex to break too, laughing and pointing out how fucked up my sense of humor is, "It's not my fault! Imagine having a fucked up humor before going through the dungeons of hell to become an arch-demon." "Tha-That's fair but still, that's fucked!" "Fuck me, that was funny," I said and the look I got from Alex scared the fuck outta me, she looked hungry but also cautious, "You good?"

She says with a smile. Cassandra immediately remembers these words, since she's the one who said it first to this loser. "Come on now, you should not get mad over some small prank, right? Or else people will look at you like some lunatic fuming over a small joke. We all should have fun and chill." Cassandra says after she pours vinegar on Jaiyana's food and tosses it into her uniform.

I want her here every morning, making me coffee while I cook her eggs. I want to watch those gold-flecked eyes peeking over the top of her mug as she tells me something brilliant. I want to earn that easy smile by saying something humorous. Record scratch, I'm not funny guy. I never say anything humorous except I had in the Elevator. I'd made her laugh then, Around her I turn into someone else. Someone better, You're not the bad guy.

I said lazy. Come on, isn't there a more sensible saying for times like this? "It's a joke, idiot!" she snapped. This is just funny. I burst out laughing, seeing Violet's face scrunched up in annoyance. Our senses of humor are so different, it's weird considering we've been good friends until now.

He was funny most of the time but somehow managed to take some of his jokes a little too far. “I like your creativity, but no. Come on, let’s make this a little more interesting people!” I said, now already done with my cider. Dante offered me another one which I wasted no time in raising to my lips. And as I did, everyone took their turn in guessing what activities had been occupying my time. They ranged from assassin training to nude painting and admittedly, we all laughed and drank ourselves silly until Randy yelled out, “Dante hasn’t said what he guessed. Tell her Dante, tell her your lame guess.” Dante rolled his eyes before saying, “It’s not lame!”