Funny Things To Randomly Say Novels & Stories

Life’s so unfair, man. “What does a spoon matter when we’re literally stuck in the middle of the woods with invisible monsters, shady, bad men and whatever else creeps around here? Can you please, for once, use your brain and kick some sense in the gear?” He whisper-hisses, so red in the face, he reminds me of a tomato. “You could join a casting for vegetable commercials looking like this,” I remark and laugh at the brilliant joke my brain just reacted. Shit, am I not the funniest guy out there? Look at me - sense of humor, looks, body and an impressive spoon collection, I have it all, damn it. No wonder my little vixen couldn’t deny me.

] "One of the things I like about him... He's a corny joker." ["Like what?"] I clap my hands once. "About teleporting mosquitos. Anyhow, he can make me laugh." ["He could have learned from me~ To make a woman laugh is to make them fall for that man."] "Like what?" ["Hmm, what do you call a mosquito inside the mosquito net?"] "What?"

he replied. I raised a curious eyebrow. I hadn’t expected him to say ‘yes’. I tried to think of what might be a good phrase and something I wouldn’t say by accident. I thought of quite a lot of random phrases and ideas, but most of them seemed kind of silly. Of course, keeping it sort of silly might make this idea work best. A small word or phrase to keep us smiling whenever I say it, instead of fighting. "Unicorn," I finally replied with a giggle. "And you better watch out or I’ll be saying that in front of your tough mafia buddies."

"Does this mean I can expect turds landing on me every so often when I do or say something stupid?" I laugh again. "Oh, dragonbreath, you'll do or say something stupid every day. Between being green and turds landing on you, I've got you covered." Now it's Ashrac's laugh filling my head.

I said lazy. Come on, isn't there a more sensible saying for times like this? "It's a joke, idiot!" she snapped. This is just funny. I burst out laughing, seeing Violet's face scrunched up in annoyance. Our senses of humor are so different, it's weird considering we've been good friends until now.