Funny Things To Randomly Say Novels & Stories

When my husband, Kevin, and I were at our favorite exclusive restaurant, he ordered a T-bone steak and told the waiter with practiced ease, "The usual, and no arugula in the side salad." I paused, then gently nudged his elbow. "Honey, did you forget? Arugula is my favorite." Kevin's body tensed, and he quickly corrected himself. I even teased him, asking if he was so tired lately that his memory was starting to go. A week later, I came back to the restaurant alone to unwind, only to overhear the young woman at the next table waving to the waiter with a smile. "The T-bone again, and no arugula in the salad. Just put it on my husband's tab." "The account number is 8993." My knife and fork clattered against the bone china plate. That string of numbers was my husband's private phone number.

We were stuck on the highway in the middle of the Christmas travel rush. My husband’s childhood friend had not only taken the passenger seat from me, but she had also propped her bare feet up on the center console. “Don’t take it to heart, Yvonne. I’m just a casual person and like to be my true self, unlike you and your fake propriety,” Michelle Gail said. As she spoke, she snatched my phone right out of my hand and read a holiday greeting from a male colleague aloud. “Oh, you have quite a few backup options, don’t you? I bet you cheated on Charles a long time ago.” My husband, Charles Carter, however, only defended her. He said, “She’s just being casual. Don’t be so petty as to hold it against her.” I smiled. They did not know that I had accidentally been bound with a system before. As the system had bound the wrong person, it promised to fulfill one wish for me unconditionally as compensation. Without a moment of hesitation, I swapped the system for the “Forget Common Sense System” and bound it to Michelle. Since she was so “casual,” why would she need a sense of shame? Why would she even need to wear clothes? Since the highway was so congested, she might as well go for a wild run on the road!

I am a firefighter. A beam crashes onto me in the middle of a burning building. At the same time, my oxygen is about to run out. I writhe and struggle as much as I can to reach for my backup oxygen canister, only to feel my fingers brushing over a bottle of water instead. When I turn around, I see my wife, Leah Sawyer, giving the last backup oxygen canister to her new mentee, Roderick Wyndham. I begin calling out to her via a walkie-talkie. "Leah, I'm being pinned down right now, and my oxygen's running out! Where is the oxygen canister?" As Leah shields Roderick behind her, she replies impatiently, "I've already given it to Roderick. It's his first time inside a burning building, so he's frightened. Having an extra canister on him gives him a sense of security. "You're already a veteran firefighter, so you can just think up a way to resolve your situation. Don't go around wasting precious resources." I can feel thick smoke infiltrating my lungs at that moment. Feelings of asphyxiation soon overwhelm me. "My leg is broken, so I can't move at all! Without oxygen, I won't be able to hold out till I get rescued!" But Leah merely chortles in response. "Stop playing the pity card! Every time we're out on a mission, you're always the cowardly one who's terrified of dying! You have zero sense of dedication at all! I shouldn't have let you join the firefighting squad, to begin with! "What's the use of you clinging to the equipment? Giving it to the newbies is the best way of maximizing its value!" I can only smile bitterly in response. Using what's left of my strength, I switch to a public channel and begin reporting to the command center. "For the record, Captain Leah Sawyer deliberately tampered with the essential rescue equipment in order to protect Roderick Wyndham, causing me, a fellow firefighter, to be trapped in a deadly situation. "I hereby request the immediate activation of the Firefighter Emergency Evacuation Act. Also, I formally charge Leah with gross negligence and attempted homicide."

Alexandra, or as she prefers, Alex is a seventeen year old delinquent with a liking for trouble and deviance. A teenager with a rap sheet and a tendency for poor anger management, she is known for illegal street fighting and gang activities. Now attending one of her father's schools for closer supervision, she has her mind set on bringing him down to his knees. There was only one thing standing in her way, and it was Alec Hawford. Her rivalry and biggest competition. Things just got real. Secrets will reveal themselves and questions will be answered. You might say, hell will break loose with the two enemies under one roof. Understatement of the century. Lets just say Satan better start getting his resumes ready, because there is a new devil coming to town.

I'm a CEO. Funny things keep happening around me after I meet a weird woman.

A young guy keeps getting into trouble in very funny and unfortunate ways. He wrecked havocs on people too, mistakenly. He hallucinated and had great fantasies about people to brighten up his hearers. Afterwards, he came back to his mundane reality.

Edwin was ordered by his grandfather to go to the village to pick up his mother to return to the city because the man had started to get sick. who would have thought that he would be involved in a forced marriage? Read now!

Perer Ford is the smartest guy in school and at home. He has a weird way of making things go right. It is his final year in senior secondary school and he tries to make everything go perfect before leaving for the university. A funny and exciting diary about his experiences, struggle and life on the edge of adulthood.https://tinyurl.com/y4zt5qnv

Amy is a twenty three year-old girl who has everything in her life planned. She is focused on her work and achieving great things in her life. When she meets Jace, a hot and funny wolf, everything in her world is turned upside down. Jace tries to avoid her but he can't seem to stay away from her. She is fated for him. She is his awakening force...

My wife, Lillian Harmon, skips our daughter's birthday party to celebrate her male assistant’s birthday instead. We run into them at the restaurant. My daughter, Rosetta Coleman, runs over and hugs her. She calls out, "Mom." But Lillian pushes her away coldly and pretends not to know her. She turns and wraps her arms around Marcus Fisher while explaining, "I have no idea where this brat came from. She's just randomly calling strangers her mom." Rosetta is hurt and confused. She is on the verge of tears as she asks, "Why did Mommy pretend not to know me?" I hold her and say, "You got the wrong person. Your mom is in Marindale." Right away, I file for divorce and take Rosetta to Marindale. But Lillian loses her mind and chases after us to beg for our forgiveness. I keep her out of our lives and find Rosetta a new mother.