Funny Ways To Die Novels & Stories

I want to record this precious moment so that I can post it on I*******m and twitter. #devilchokedtilldeath #freedomonitsway #innerpeace #celebrationtime Please get me some popcorn. I had no intention to help him but I wasn't dressed nice enough to be in the spotlight of the media if he died. So I decided to do the unwanted thing with a stone on my heart. Dying from choking on your own saliva looks quite easy and uninteresting. Doesn't it?? Let's help him so that he can die a painful death later.

(Today I am here, but tomorrow There will be my memories, If I will not be here There will be the talks of mine) (If you will turn the pages Of life Then I think you will also cry Remembering me) **** Marna to sabko ek na ek din padega. Magar dekhte hai kiski mout ka sadma Kitno ko lagega. Kya khushi manaenge ya phir gum me doob jaaenge. Dekhte hai mere janaze par kitne mere aaenge. (Everyone had to die one day But let's see, who will take the shock of Someone's death) (Who will be happy and who will cry Let's see, who will come on my funeral) **** Kya pata kab mout ka paigaam aa jaye.

Why am I feeling this way? “Should I burn myself and die?” No. Burning until death might be so painful. “Then, drown myself?” That is too… barbaric. “Dying with gunshot might be the easiest way. But where will I buy a gun? If I look for an illegal seller, I’ll end up in jail. If I go to jail, I cannot eat fried chicken and coke anymore. Beer too.” I shook my head to get rid of my silly thoughts. “Damn imagination. I’m hungry.”

The voice kept going: “Please provide the fanciest death you can. Or fanciest kills if you have what it takes to be a predator. The audience loves those.” “What audience?!” I asked, turning to the grim looking passengers in the bus. No one answered. The speaker died. I looked around. The bus was packed with people mostly my age. They looked pale with dull unseeing eyes. I turned back to the tall stranger. “This is a joke, right? Some kind of messed up prank show? I’d like to make it known I didn't consent to being pranked on.” He just looked at me with this tired, almost bored expression that somehow made look more handsome. “No prank, newbie. You’re dead.”

I often end up dreaming of how she died, too. Dorothy's heart clenched painfully, and she felt tears well up in her eyes. After a long pause, she finally calmed down enough to ask, "How does she usually die in your nightmares?" "Sometimes she gets pushed off a cliff. I've seen her throat get slit, and sometimes she gets shot. Sometimes, she gets beaten to death. Either way, it hurts to watch." Dorothy's eyes were already glossed over with tears. A sob was stuck in her throat, and she couldn't speak.

I state. *Fucking nailed it,* Dozer says, over mind-link. I draw a deep breath, feeling like the worst of it is over. When Bruce sits down and the dork Norman gets up, Mick paces in my head. “How many people have you killed Travis,” he asks. Cheap shot. I keep a straight face and don’t flinch. *Yeah we’ll leave the next body on his porch so he can see what trash we take out,* Shock says, over mind-link.

"Is there anything that makes you feel funny?" If I have to die right now at least a bit of humor can make it easy. At least, dying while laughing is better than begging. Matter of fact, I wasn't freaking out like someone who's about to die right now. I'm surrounded by three mighty vampires that might kill me. So, I'm not even afraid. It's just as if I know inside me that I can take them all at once if I want to. I do want to, just that I don't know how!

I was laughing with my best friend and the fact that I might die soon was pushed at the back of my head. "No, I've got a better one," I said still laughing, "I'm like Dracula whose down to his last meal." "And his fangs all fell out," Asher added and we both burst out into uncontrollable laughter. "Why are we finding this humorous?" I asked as I wiped a tear, "it's not even funny at all." "I guess we're just trying to laugh all our pain away and pretend it's just a huge joke," he answered as he sobered up. "I honestly don't want to think of you dying so soon and leaving me all alone in this crazy world."

"Underpants." To his credit, he didn't outright laugh, but he sound incredulous when he said, "Seriously?" She bobbed her head. "Unfreakn' believable." He couldn't help his sarcasm from showing through when he added, "Let me guess, those are usually missing too?" "No. But they don't belong to the prisoner either." "Geez, this is getting weird." "No, this is weird. The third accidental deaths are drowning." "How does someone drown in a cell?" He no sooner asked than he uttered, "Oh. Ooooh." He blew out a breath. "The ultimate swirly. What a rotten way to go."

Adrian’s friends moved faster than he did. One of them reached out and ripped it from my hand, ending the call mid-ring. Another laughed under his breath, like he’d just seen something absurd. “Seriously?” someone scoffed. “Your fiancée runs into a little trouble and the first thing she does is call her mommy?” Another chimed in, shaking his head with a laugh. “Adrian, this is next-level childish. We’re grown adults, not kindergarteners. What’s she going to do next—cry for a nanny?”