Romans & histoires Funny Ways To Die

“‍Da⁠v​id,​ please.‌” “He sa‌id death was funny.” David’s v‍oice was flat. “He l‌aughe​d⁠ abo‌ut it. L‌ike it’⁠s a joke. L‍i‌ke Ayana, dying was⁠ this funny thing t‍hat happened.” “He didn’t know‌—”

They spent their entire lives as teacher, only to be publicly shamed for failing to raise me properly. They both died of heart attacks at home, and their bodies were only found when the smell became unbearable. But even as I was bullied to death in prison, I could not understand why Lily suddenly killed herself. Why was Jayden's body covered in bruises? In this second life, I was determined to find out what really happened.

"Well these 'Toys' are used to give someone a brutal death. Thier are so many ways you can kill someone brutally. We have different levels of machines depending on person's deed. Starting from basic to horrendous ways of dying. Like have you heard about peeling of human skin and putting the body on fire, cutting the head, electrocuting someone, inserting pins in the whole body-" I raise my hand in order to stop him as my eyes widened. What the hell did I just heard? I don't need all that information but I could be assure that William was dying a really bad death today because even his basic package would be horrifying for William. "Let's go with the medium level but first I need to talk to W

* A wide grin spreads across my lips as I imagine Sarah's father experiencing the torture. And the best part? When he dies, he won't tell anyone in the afterlife how he died because who would be stupid enough to flaunt that they were killed with a simple kitchen utensil? Endless suffering of shame has to be the extra he gets. Atlas laughs and pulls me out of my thoughts. *Holy shit, you're a genius. Sounds like we can have fun by doing some modern mummification.* Finally, for once, we get on the same wave and follow it until we reach our high. There are no disagreements or arguments, just the fun part of planning every single detail we're about to do.

She slurred. Levi and Mateo, “But there is one thing I still want – if I die in a very cool way – like shot to death or something – not die from old age or boredom.” She rolled her eyes, “And one of you has to tell the other about my death. I want you to say BLAIRE DOWN,” She laughed. “I think it is a very cool way of declaring my death.” She slurred. Mateo chuckled and took the glass from her hand, “Okay, yeah – I think you had enough.”

She continued to let her weight toss the chair forward and backwards. "As you can see Jammy, I'm fine and still alive. You see Jammy, I was thinking about something yesterday, you know, all my friends are dying and who knows, death might be outside just waiting for you to go out and he'd come to me. I might just be the next. But you know what, Jammy? I'm sure going to make sure I have enough coffee before I die."

“For once, you might be right.” Cassar’s eyes were wide as he started barking out orders to his pack. Cass scooped me into his arms as he started running through he territory. “Well, I’m getting a sense of déjà vu.” I grimaced. Cassar growled. “This isn’t the time for jokes.” “Actually, my coping mechanism is through humour.” I chuckled with a wheeze. “Humour and murder.” Cassar glared as he ran faster. “Oh you’re just mad because if I die, you die.”

I reasoned. "And that would mean?" He asked. "It means, they are either going to pretend that I was killed during a raid or they are going to use poison to end me," I replied. "How can you just talk casually about your death?" He asked, his eyes on me. "Am I supposed to attach any emotions to it?" I asked, my eyes fixed on him. "Maybe, no one talks about their death like that, you just draw out their methods," he explained. "I only stated the fact," I cut in as he looked back at me and then looked away. "Well, you are right but since there is no upcoming party, they would likely use poison," he said.

Paulit-ulit lahat ng naririnig ko, mga nakikita ko, at mga salitang lumalabas sa bibig ng mga pinapatay ko. All of them are boring. The throne is boring. It's no fun when I'm doing the same thing. Ahh... this life is so boring. I just want to die. What would be the feeling of dying? Does it taste sweet like grape juice? Is it painful that I'll scream harder? I badly want to die. So I tried killing myself, one, two, three, until I killed myself for 100th times... but I didn't die. I had grown tired of this life.

The experienced interrogating officer, maintaining professional detachment, pressed harshly: "Then what? Did she call?" He spread his hands in an exaggerated gesture, performing a pathetic solo show. "She called! Crying her eyes out, snot and tears all over her, calling everyone! And you know what? Hahaha, the funniest damn thing I've ever heard! Nobody believed her! Either told her she was scamming them or just hung up on her annoying ass! Tsk tsk, even called that big-shot brother of hers. You know what he said? Told her if she wanted to die, she should hurry up and stop bothering people!" "CRASH!"