Funny Ways To Die Novels & Stories

Seething at me. " What's there to laugh, baby doll?" He asks, and I shake my head in a no. Looking into his eyes to already see his death. Rage covers his features as he applies more pressure, but I continue to chuckle. " You death." He stills. His grip drops as he looks into my eyes in confusion. " What do you mean?" Who is going to tell him? " Your death is fun Ryder. It's the most inhuman and brutal death ever known in history."

But the frowned turn to laugh all of sudden when I saw how his smile faded. "Why are you laughing?" He then sighed like a child. I didn't know grim reaper can be funny like this. How I wish to see Saint pouting like this. Maybe that's more interesting. Damn! I can't imagine. "You are ridiculous." "Tsk! Everyone's tells that." "Great, at the list I'm not the only one"

“Anything to say now?” His eyes rolled back in his head as the last heartbeat pushed what little blood out of his system and he died. The other two looked at each other in fear. “Can’t do it, man!” “How about this? First man that talks, get a painless death. Whoever doesn’t talk, I will make small cuts all over your body. Then I will bring in rats and let them eat you alive until you die…. with my dull knife.” “Wedon’tknowhisname!” the first guy blurted out so fast.

he repeated. “Well,” she said gaily, “since I’m going to die anyway, I might as well go out happy.” Her face fell as she thought for a moment and then continued, “Of course, unless you’re into necrophilia, you’ll only get one chance at me. But just think... ! They’ll find me dead in your bed, but with the happiest smile they’re ever going to see on my face. It will drive them absolutely nuts! Now let’s do it.”

He moved quickly and handed the gun he was holding to Shaira. "What now, Ciara? Maybe you want to beg for your life before we finish you?" Hannah asked, smirking. May the bloodshed, but I would never kneel to the demons like you, Hannah, just to beg for my life. "Are you guys ready to suffer and DIE?" She emphasizes the last word as she playfully smirks at us. I boldly traced her, as if I was going to laugh at her joke. She could no longer frighten me with such a threat because I had been ready for death since I was born. I was born to die. It's been plenty of times since I met death, but he never took me.

I rounded the corner once again till I was back to her side, passing her one of the glasses. "My version of living is doing whatever the fuck I want. Everyone dies eventually, and not always from a liver failure." My gaze settled pointedly on her. The men before me are quite notorious for dying in far more gruesome ways. It'd only be a pleasure. "You mean your version of living is succumbing to your body's every desire, even if it's bound to kill you?" I lifted my glass to my lips, pausing to meet her defiant sea-blue eyes. "Usually, my body knows exactly what it wants. And right now, it's a curious blonde that doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut. Drink up."

"You know, when I get sick of you, I may just pull that stunt. Kill me and frame you for it. So we're both dammed." "Is that your way of telling me you're suicidal?" He narrowed his look. "Only for you." I repeated his earlier words. Chuckling, he got off the chair and went back inside. "What are you doing?" I thrust my head curiously. "When you die, it'll be one of three things: Me choking you. I toss you off a cliff. Or you kill yourself because you'd hate yourself when you realise you don't hate me." He pulled a house phone, which I must have missed. I scoffed, then tailed him.

Today something interesting happened. I died. How awful, they’ll say. How tragic. And she was so young, with everything ahead of her. There will be an article in the paper about how I burned too bright and died too young. My funeral will be small…a few weeping friends, some sniffling neighbors and acquaintances. How they’ll clamor to comfort my poor husband, Gray. They’ll promise to be there for our daughter as she grows up without me. So sad, they’ll say to each other. What was she thinking?

"Also, why would I risk my whole life to snitch on you? That's a one way ticket to heaven...or hell." "It's a one way ticket to the bottom of a lake." He responded and my mouth dropped while my eyes widened. "That sounds like way too much effort. I heard the best way to get rid of a body is to drop them into molten metal. No fuss and no mess." I said grinning at him and he looked at me weirdly before seemingly thinking about it. Finally he nodded his head. 'That's actually brilliant. Nobody would find you ever. No body, no evidence." He muttered thoughtfully and I narrowed my eyes at him.

“Jesse, my man, which is why I’m encouraging you to talk some more! It doesn’t have to be about anything life changing. If you were me I’d say crack a joke but I don’t know if you even know any jokes.” “I know jokes.” His face lit up. “Oh yes? Tell me one then.” “Can you guess what the therapist said when I told my therapist I’m scared of dying alone? “Uh, no what?” “He said, “Most people don’t die with the company,” I said, chuckling. “Get it?” Rain looked at Matt. “Matt, am I supposed to laugh at that?” “Ideally someone is supposed to laugh when they tell a joke,” Matt said with a sigh. “Jesse, what have I told you about your morbid jokes?”