German Jokes Novels & Stories

"Now that deserves a SANDing-ovation. I was afraid I was going to have to use some CAMEL-flage to get out of here. I was just SHORE things were going to end badly. Now I am hungry. You know what I want?" The other men started. "A…a SANDwich?" Renat asked, unsure of what to do with the jolly general. "Precisely! And don't forget DEsSERT," Junayd laughed. "But don't try to SAND by me to me when it comes to jokes. You will always come up a few GRAINs short." The boy shrugged and gave the General a sidelong glance. "I have found that all jokes about deserts fall under DRY humor. But perhaps that is because one has to be deserted to fully appreciate them."

His booming voice filled the air with glee, As he entertained us, setting spirits free. "Let's say old time jokes, shall we?" Chants of 'yes' sounded around the room. "Did you hear about the vampire who opened a bakery? He got into a lot of trouble because his cakes were always too bloody." The room erupted with laughter, a joyful sound, As we all shared in the mirth that went around. Stephanie chimed in with a witty remark, Adding to the humor, making the atmosphere spark. "Alpha Darwin, have you heard the one about the talking dog?

fuck I'm really happy for you. I smiled, "you're the best..." 'okay let me not keep you from telling daddy good news..' She then tried to create a heart with both her fingers. I laughed, "fuuuuck baby that doesn't look like a heart.. it looks like a potato..." She laughed, 'fuck you... this is a real heart.. so fuck you really...' I giggled, "I love you baby.. so so much..." 'ich liebe dich' (I love you) I blushed, "you have to teach me german next time..."

'I'm sorry about what Gilbert called you'. 'Oh don't you worry about that. They're just a bunch of Dummkopt'. 'What was that'? 'It's German. Really Abigail, you should pay more attention to your language class'.

“Don’t you mean fangtastic?” “I most assuredly do not.” His face was now stern. I rolled my eyes. “OK, got it. Dick jokes are OK but vampire jokes are not. Touchy much?” His mouth was drawn in a thin line “Funny jokes are acceptable. Others should be met with the derision they deserve.” There was a pregnant pause and all silly jokes and puns rushed out of my head, so I settled for rolling my eyes at him as I jumped off the bar stool instead. “Do you have anyone you need to let know you’ll be away?” he asked

The room went dead quiet when I said I would take the prize, but that quiet did not last. A second later, laughter thundered through the air. Lily Smith was the loudest, doubling over with tears streaming from her eyes. "How else could she be the top seller?" she cackled. "A woman like her has to have skin as thick as a rhino." I ignored her snide comments and kept my cool. "Just to be clear," I said, "since the company so generously 'rewarded' me with bathroom duty, that's all I'll be doing for the next three days. Everything else is off my plate."

"I'm sorry I'm late, CeCe." The moment those words—sounding especially respectful and familiar—left Terrence's lips, the whole private room fell silent. Everyone's eyes widened, as if they couldn't believe what they'd just heard. After a brief silence, Vanessa suddenly burst into loud, shrill laughter. "CeCe? Oh my goodness, that's hilarious!" She pointed at me, her face full of disdain and contempt. "I knew it! How could a fresh graduate like you possibly land a client as tough as Gilla Group on your own? Turns out all you did was just climb into Mr. Kapowsky's bed!"

Gia repeated. "Good. Not perfect, but decent enough." Raven smiled, appreciating her effort despite its imperfection. "I regret not paying attention to foreign language classes back in school," Gia grumbled. "Norwegian is somewhat similar to German. If you understand German, communicating won't be hard—except for the occasional confusing local accent." "Are you mocking me? The only German I know is 'Guten Tag' (Good afternoon)!" Gia snapped, annoyed by Raven's optimism.

"Alright, fine. If you won't smile, I'll have to tell you my top-tier jokes. What do you call a fake noodle?" Elena had blinked, her stern frown flickering for a split second. "What?" "An impasta." She had stared at me in absolute, stony silence for three whole seconds. "That is terrible. That is the worst joke I've ever heard." "Okay, okay, tough crowd," I had grinned, my dark eyes sparkling with wicked delight as I stroked her cheek. "Why don't scientists trust atoms?" "Jaxx, please stop…" "Because they make up everything."

It might help if I get lost…or accidentally set the apartment on fire,” I teased, getting a hint of a smile that he buried by denying. "Or you'll probably starve the poor animal to death," he returned the joke, narrowing his gaze, making the lines of expression visible at the corners of his eyes. Since the incident in my bathroom we acquired the ability to joke when it came to Alzheimer's. Black jokes made the situation less overwhelming. He was the first person he could joke with like this. My friends didn't like it when he said things like that and found it cruel; what they didn't understand was that at the end of the day the one who would live in limbo would be me, and taking it so seriou