Gusto Ko Nang Mamatay Mga Nobela at Kwento

"M-malay mo pwede naman pala.." Mahinang bulong ko kinakain ang lahat ng mga salitang sinabi ko noon. Simula sa pagsasabi ng hindi bagay ang mahirap at mayaman hanggang sa sinabi kong hindi ako mag kakagusto sa lalaking Gideon ang pangalan. "Sa pag giba pa lang ng pader na nag hihiwalay sa mga estado ng buhay natin masasaktan ka na Grace, ano pa kaya kapag nalaman mong hindi ka na niya gusto dahil sa mga ginawa mo noon?"

Sometimes one word comes and destroys everything else. Shatters your whole world again. Something in me broke, i swallowed hard, "I am pretty sure a kiss doesn't make babies." I said trying to lighten the mood whereas my inside was slowly dying again. She shook her head. She is doing it, she is killing me again. "I am pregnant with his child."

The urge to stick my head under the table to avoid his cold stares was almost unbearable. "Sophia, I don't give a shit what you want, my mother said she didn't add garlic, so she didn't add it, so eat. Now." Jumping slightly at his tone I shakily took the fork in my hands and cut a small piece of the moussaka. "Eat it." He ordered. Closing my eyes I slowly enclosed the food in my mouth and took small bites before swallowing it.

Marahil ay busy siyang kargahan ng bala ang baril niya para gamitin sa’kin mamaya. Umikot ang mga mata ko at iritadong ininom ang cucumber juice sa aking harap. What’s sending me more in rage was that fact that he’d still be out here, free and living a nice island life after murdering me. Kagaya ng mga kuwentong narinig ko, mukhang malakas ang kapit niya sa taas kaya’t hindi nila ito maipakulong. Kawawa naman ako pag nagkataon, siguradong gabi-gabi hahagulgol si Mommy para sa hustisya ng pagkamatay ko. Dahil sa naisip ay nawalan tuloy ako ng gana. Matapos kong ubusin ang juice ay tumayo na ako at hinayaang nakakalat ang pinagkainan sa lamesa.

Pero nalilito na nga ako kung ano ba ang mas masakit at nakakatakot- ang mamatay o ang mabuhay. I've been locked up in this hellish cell for a few days... No food or water. I feel like I'm being punished by the above. It will become easier if I just end my life but I'm not ready to die yet- not now. With each hour and second that passed I became weaker and weaker. It seemed that it was intentional to torture me little by little until I die. "Matibay ka... Buhay ka pa din pala hanggang ngayon."

There are three of them and I don’t like the odds a bit. “I literally can’t do much of anything right now,” I reply, dead serious. “We gotta be sure Missile’s dead or this won’t work,” I hear Grouch say, he’s clearly pissed. I immediately close my eyes and pray he’s alive. Is he really that sick that he would kill her mate just to mark her? When I pop my eyes open I’m more weak than ever, barely able to stay awake. I’m breathing, keeping my heart going and praying I don’t drop my baby. That’s about the most I can offer.

The rain had been falling for twenty days straight. From morning until night, it hammered against the roof, low and constant, pressing down on everything. I stood by the window and watched water stream off the eaves and splash onto the ground below. I thought about what I had seen in my past life. The riverbanks breaking. The territories flooding. Bodies everywhere. Those images would never leave me. According to the timeline I remembered, the elder would propose live sacrifice in less than ten days.

I rushed after her, but all I managed to catch was a corner of her clothing before it slipped through my fingers. I watched her body fall with my own eyes, like a butterfly with broken wings. Smaller and smaller she became, until she was nothing more than a tiny black dot against the ground below. I cried so hard I nearly passed out. From this moment on, I had no family left. I was completely alone in this world. But beneath the grief, another emotion was surging violently inside me. Shock. Because the final thing my mother said to me was so far beyond anything I had imagined.

Her expressions were neutral, with no sign of pain or regret at this point. She couldn’t endure this pain now and felt like it was better to end it forever. There seemed to be no reason to live on for. No person to be happy for. No one wanted her or would be sad if she died.

Tatanda kang tuyo kapag choosy ka. Kinabukasan, walang pasok si Mama, kaya pumunta kami ng Quiapo, nagsimba narin kami para bawas kasalanan, alam mo na, ang dami kong dapat ihingi ng tawad sa diyos, bukod sa kabaklaan ko, hindi pa ako nakakapagpasalamat sa blessing na ipinagkaloob niya sa akin kagabi. Opo, blessing po yung nangyari kagabi, opo. Wag kayong echusera, blessing yun. Diba? Sumagot kayo? Char!