Gusto Ko Nang Mamatay Novels & Stories

"You mistakenly thought that the money was from Summer and called me ungrateful for not being able to give you anything. But I just want to say that I've really done my best." "I can't pay you back for giving birth to me, so I'll pay off my debt with my death. Truthfully, I didn't want to die, but it hurt too much. I know that my sickness cannot be cured. It hurts. It hurts so much. "It's time for me to say goodbye. Without me, you should be able to live happily. I wish for all of you to live blissful lives forever." When Andy was done reading my last message, Kenneth, Autumn, Sherman, and Jimmy started crying again. Each sob that they choked out was more anguished than the last.

Masakit, nakakapagod pero maganda. Parang tula... 'yung tipong kahit maraming sugat, gusto mo pa ring ulitin. Only The Young can run... ────────────────────────────────────────────────────

pagtatapos ni Wayne na sinabayan ng masigabong palakpakan ng mga audience namin. I willed the floor to swallow me. Shit. Shit. Triple shit. Kung sinuman ang nakaisip ng palarong ‘to ang sarap bangasan sa gums para matauhan. How in hell will a person spell that? Inis na tumingala ako’t kinalkal ang magulo kong utak for anything. “Gen, whenever you’re ready.”

Paulit-ulit lahat ng naririnig ko, mga nakikita ko, at mga salitang lumalabas sa bibig ng mga pinapatay ko. All of them are boring. The throne is boring. It's no fun when I'm doing the same thing. Ahh... this life is so boring. I just want to die. What would be the feeling of dying? Does it taste sweet like grape juice? Is it painful that I'll scream harder? I badly want to die. So I tried killing myself, one, two, three, until I killed myself for 100th times... but I didn't die. I had grown tired of this life.

Are you hungry enough to ask for more? Kailangan matapang ka. Kung mahina ka, ikaw ang mauuna. Matibay ang sikmura, kung hindi bibigay ka agad. Wala kang awa na dapat ipakita. Dahil sa laro na 'to, kapag inuna mo ang puso mo, ikaw ang kawawa. Kailangan mautak ka, kung hindi, baka maunahan ka.

"M-malay mo pwede naman pala.." Mahinang bulong ko kinakain ang lahat ng mga salitang sinabi ko noon. Simula sa pagsasabi ng hindi bagay ang mahirap at mayaman hanggang sa sinabi kong hindi ako mag kakagusto sa lalaking Gideon ang pangalan. "Sa pag giba pa lang ng pader na nag hihiwalay sa mga estado ng buhay natin masasaktan ka na Grace, ano pa kaya kapag nalaman mong hindi ka na niya gusto dahil sa mga ginawa mo noon?"

Dire-diretsong sabi ni Finn na mabilis ko namang tinanguan. Maling-mali talaga iyon. Can it be considered a sin? Probably. Kung ano ang gusto mo, dapat sundin mo iyon. Lalong lalo na rito sa pagpapari. Kung hindi mo naman talaga gusto, hindi will ng Panginoon at sadyang napipilitan ka lang dahil iyon ang gusto ng kung sino man, dapat itigil mo na. Dapat lumabas ka na. Bago pa tuluyang mahuli ang lahat.

It was disgusting to be helpless. "I could smell death everywhere in that plane. Umaali-aligid sa aming lahat. Namimili ng kukunin..." bulong ni Zane matapos ang maikling katahimikan. "Ang kamatayan pala ay parang isang gayuma. Kapag nasa harapan mo na, gusto mo nang sumama. I almost went with it; kung hindi lang sa iyo, Avery. Naalala kita, kaya ginusto ko pang mabuhay..." Nakatulog uli si Zane matapos ang pagtatapat na iyon. Naiwan si Avery na gising at nalilito na naman.

Sometimes one word comes and destroys everything else. Shatters your whole world again. Something in me broke, i swallowed hard, "I am pretty sure a kiss doesn't make babies." I said trying to lighten the mood whereas my inside was slowly dying again. She shook her head. She is doing it, she is killing me again. "I am pregnant with his child."

The urge to stick my head under the table to avoid his cold stares was almost unbearable. "Sophia, I don't give a shit what you want, my mother said she didn't add garlic, so she didn't add it, so eat. Now." Jumping slightly at his tone I shakily took the fork in my hands and cut a small piece of the moussaka. "Eat it." He ordered. Closing my eyes I slowly enclosed the food in my mouth and took small bites before swallowing it.