Humorous Sarcastic Quotes Novels & Stories

At the New Year's Eve dinner, my mom suddenly assigns some rules to me and my siblings. She claims that those who don't fit the criteria aren't allowed to eat at the table. Rule number one: One must have spent at least 50% of their time keeping Mom company at home last year. Rule number two: One must have gone shopping with Mom all the time. Rule number three: One must keep giving Mom allowance. But it appears that I, the oldest sibling, am the only one who doesn't meet the requirements. My little sister, Chelsea Cage, begins acting coquettish immediately. "All Cassidy cares about is her business, unlike me, Mom! I care about you!" Meanwhile, my younger brother, Cameron Cage, lectures me with a frown, "What's the point of you being able to earn more money than average people? No matter how good a breadwinner you are, the fact that you don't care about Mom completely nullifies it!" My mom tells my siblings to sit around her happily. Then, she criticizes me in a sarcastic tone. "As parents, when we become old, what we need is our children's company, not cold hard cash." I'm pissed off, to say the least. I'm the breadwinner of this family, and yet these freeloaders get to put on airs in front of me. The reason why I don't go shopping with my mom is that she's never satisfied with whatever gifts I've picked out for her during the times I did go out with her. That's why I gave her money straight away. I didn't give my mom any allowance at all because all the money is regularly deposited into the supplementary card, which she has. Since my long-term efforts are worth nothing compared to my siblings' sweet talk, I suppose I can quit being the ATM of this family.

WARNING Please read BOOK 1 first . Book 2 is the continuation ". Don't get me wrong, okay? I am just making sure if it's really mine. I am a very busy and famous businessman. Now, if you are not so sure that that baby inside you is not mine then it will bring chaos and a big problem to my image and to my family. Get it?" D-do you really think I-I am that kind of a woman? Do y-you think that I w-would let you take my v-virginity when I h-have a boyfriend? She said in a painful tone. But he was just staring at her with his emotionless eyes. " Okay. But I want some test miss. I want to make sure that it's really mine. I want a paternity test" B-but I don't have m-money for paternity test.. "She mumbled and he heard it. He laugh sarcastically. He knew it! He then look at her with his fierce and sarcastic eyes. Yup. She is definitely like them. " You don't have money? You want me to give you some? "" I knew why you're here. And I was right. If I give you money, will you leave me alone now? Because I know that's what you need and why you're here. So tell me, how much do you need? "She looked at him in disbelief. " D-do you think I'm here for y-your money? Do think I'm a gold-digger? ""I don't know... Maybe. "she Shook her head in disbelief. " I can't believe you. "She mumbled with her teary eyes as she look at him, he just stare at her with emotionless look.She came all the way here just to hear his judgement , insulting words? Her tears fall down and she quickly wipe it. She looked at him with anger and pain in her eyes.