Humorous Sarcastic Quotes Novels & Stories

Alenya Vale has always been ordinary, or so she thought. Soft, curvy, and painfully underestimated, she never imagined that her human life was hiding a deadly secret. The truth? Alenya carries Null Blood, an ancient, extinct power that can erase magic on contact. Curses unravel at her touch, alpha commands bounce off her like sunlight, and even the most violent god fragments falter in her presence. To the supernatural world, she’s priceless. To the gods, she’s a threat. Thane Raelthorn is the heir of the most powerful wolf clan in Vaelora, and a demi-god slowly being consumed from within by a god fragment. His magic rages uncontrollably, destroying everything he touches, and every mate who comes near him suffers. Until the night he collapses at Alenya’s feet. The moment she touches him, the madness stops. For the first time in years, the wolf-born prince can breathe, think, and feel. Only she can silence the divine parasite clawing at his soul. Thrown into a world of wolf clans, arcane houses, and divine ruins, Alenya must navigate a realm that suddenly sees her as both savior and target. Assassins, jealous she-wolves, and monstrous god fragments are hunting her, and Thane will do anything to keep her alive. Soft and sarcastic, underestimated and overlooked, Alenya is more than she appears and her curves hold the power to topple gods and change destiny itself. Thane is more than he appears too, brutal, beautiful, and on the edge of madness, he is hers, whether she wants him or not. Fated mates. Dangerous magic. Divine predators. Only together can they survive a world that wants them dead and a destiny that wants them united.

NOT FOR READERS UNDER THE AGE OF 16. "As if." I scoffed looking around, my eyes was starting to hurt from how much sex I'm seeing. My jaw almost dropped at what those douchebags are doing over there. "Light, camera, action!!" the producer said and I shook my head in disbelief, three omegas were on top of a pack member I recognize all too well, he's one of Adams' friends, they were having a foursome in front of so many people, and the camera, are they going to sell or upload the video? "Neither, they are going to send it to the pack members who want it," Charlie replied to my unsaid question looking at me warily. "What a very amazing pack this is," I said sarcastically. "Well, she's all yours. This is where you belong," he threw a smirk in my direction and I rolled my eyes at him "show her around and make her feel at home." Jack beamed shaking her ass once again. "Make sure you stop by again." Charlie said biting her index finger and I started at her in disgust. "Follow me." She instructed leading the way and swaying her hips from side to side shaking her ass, her butt was jiggling so much I was concerned if it would fall off, I wonder how many men have fucked and touched her. "Exactly one hundred and twenty-three men." She replied nonchalantly and my jaw dropped. “This is your life now!” She smirked throwing her head back to look at me, a let out sarcastic laughter knowing fully well I'd rather die!! The day I get my full strength back, that day, I will make Alpha Mayers pay with his life.

When one of the Fallen fall in love with a werewolf and have a special child that needed to be protected. Choosing to leave her pack behind Lizzy's Mother, Helena hid among the humans, in a small town. Lizzy's father loved them from a distance to keep them safe from those who may want to use Lizzy's gifts. Being the only female born to among the Fallen makes her special. Early on Helena noticed Lizzy develop gifts that were getting them noticed. When Helena is killed, Lizzy finds herself alone in the care system having deciding to shut down and stop talking she finds herself in the Mental hospital. Lizzy is alone until her wolf wakes and starts to talk to her. Finding this a lot to process Lizzy try's to ignore her wolf until she cant anymore. Arrow and Aries, twin Alpha heirs of Ruby Mountain Pack, always knew they would share a mate. What they weren't prepared for was the blunt and unfiltered Lizzy, who knows nothing about the world of the supernatural's she finds herself now thrown into. Being seriously stubborn and defiant Lizzy refuses to accept them as her mate's. Feeling confused about why her body keeps reacting to the two arrogant Alphas. Having a lot to deal with from the Pack's mean girls staking a claim on the Alphas who claim to be hers, to unintentionally putting herself in danger. Feeling overwhelmed with everything changing she finds herself wishing she was back in the tiny room back in the Hospital. Can the twin Alphas win the heart of their mate? Will the stubborn Lizzy give in and listen to her Mates? Or will she decide her own fate? All this on top of having to deal with her seriously sarcastic and horny wolf.

SIX-PACK SERIES BOOK ONE *The six-pack series is a collection of steamy werewolf shifter novels about a group of six aligned werewolf packs, the young alphas that run them, and the strong-willed women that bring them to their knees. If you're new to the series, start here!* GRAY : I've got a lot on my plate. Not only do I have a pack to protect, but I keep the whole six-pack territory secure by training and running the security squad. The new recruits are here for the summer, and it's my job to whip them into shape. I can't afford any distractions, but one of the female recruits is doing just that- distracting me. Fallon is the most frustrating girl I've ever met; she's all alpha female, and she openly challenges my authority. She's so far from my type, but for some reason, I'm drawn to her. It'll be a challenge to break her, but by the end of the summer, she will learn to obey her alpha. By the end of the summer, I'll have her on her knees. ~ FALLON : All I've ever wanted was to be part of the six-pack's security squad, defending our territory as a fighter. I've finally got a chance to live out my dream- all I have to do is make it through summer training camp and prove myself. I thought that the toughest part of training camp would be the actual training, but the alpha running the place is even tougher. One sarcastic comment, and Alpha Gray seems hellbent on making an example out of me, provoking me at every opportunity. He wants me to fall in line, but I'll be damned if I'm going to roll over. Sure, he's insanely hot. He's an alpha. But I'm not backing down. He's not my alpha.

My name is Maya Chen, and I have seven months to stop being the only single senior at Lincoln High. Everyone else posts prom dates, couple hoodies, and first kiss stories. I post nothing. I watch from the sidelines while my friends plan futures in pairs and my mom asks when I will bring someone home. So I make a rule. Get a boyfriend before 18. No exceptions. I build a plan to survive the pressure. Date smart. Date safe. Date anyone who checks the boxes and gets me to my birthday without shame. The plan falls apart the second Cole Evans shows up. He is my brother’s best friend, holds a detention record that scares teachers, and wears a smirk that mocks every rule I wrote. He was never my type. He drives a rusted truck, smells like gasoline, and calls out my bad taste in boys. But he also finds me crying in the bathroom at Homecoming, teaches me to drive stick at midnight, and looks at me like I am not a task to finish. Now I am 18, my plan is broken, and the whole school saw me kiss the guy I swore I would never want. I thought I needed a boyfriend to fix my life. I need him. CHARACTERIZATIONS MAYA CHEN Role: Female Lead Appearance: Straight black hair she cuts herself, small scar on her eyebrow, lives in oversized hoodies and worn Converse. Aim: To stop being the only single person in her friend group before she turns 18. Personality: Sarcastic, organized, loyal, hides insecurity behind a planner. Flaw: Ties worth to relationship status because of peer pressure. Special Note: Uses control and rules to avoid feeling left behind. Hidden Truth: Believes if she does not get a boyfriend now, she never will

Synopsis of The Vans International Billionaire Julian Vance is a hyper-focused, notoriously paranoid tech billionaire weeks away from launching an autonomous shipping empire that will redefine global logistics. Driven by the ghost of his father’s financial ruin, Julian trusts no one and relies strictly on cold, hard logic. But when a catastrophic routing error threatens to tank his company’s imminent IPO, he leaves a chaotic, failed algorithm scrawled across his penthouse office glass wall in a fit of midnight rage. By morning, the multi-billion-dollar mathematical bottleneck has been flawlessly solved by an anonymous outsider who left behind a sarcastic sticky note. The mathematical savior is Maya Lin, a fiercely independent young woman working two exhausting jobs—grocery cashier by day and night-shift commercial janitor by night—to fund her younger brother’s critical cerebral palsy treatments. Guided by an intuitive, self-taught mind for numbers, Maya simply couldn't look past the broken syntax. When Julian discovers the breach on security footage, his lifelong paranoia flares. Convinced Maya is a highly trained corporate spy sent by his bitterest rival, he decides to keep his enemy close. He pulls her out of the shadows, forcing her into a high-stakes, 24/7 role as his personal executive assistant. Trapped in a world of intense corporate deadlines and forced proximity, the firewall between them crumbles. Maya handles Julian’s high-pressure lifestyle with unvarnished honesty, even anchoring him through a severe panic attack, while Julian discovers the raw brilliance and desperate family sacrifices behind her defensive exterior. But when a real, devastating cyberattack leaks the proprietary code, the engineered evidence frames Maya. To claim a future together, Julian must choose between the ruthless, defensive logic that built his empire or calculating the ultimate wildcard: trusting the woman who rewrote his entire life.

WARNING Please read BOOK 1 first . Book 2 is the continuation ". Don't get me wrong, okay? I am just making sure if it's really mine. I am a very busy and famous businessman. Now, if you are not so sure that that baby inside you is not mine then it will bring chaos and a big problem to my image and to my family. Get it?" D-do you really think I-I am that kind of a woman? Do y-you think that I w-would let you take my v-virginity when I h-have a boyfriend? She said in a painful tone. But he was just staring at her with his emotionless eyes. " Okay. But I want some test miss. I want to make sure that it's really mine. I want a paternity test" B-but I don't have m-money for paternity test.. "She mumbled and he heard it. He laugh sarcastically. He knew it! He then look at her with his fierce and sarcastic eyes. Yup. She is definitely like them. " You don't have money? You want me to give you some? "" I knew why you're here. And I was right. If I give you money, will you leave me alone now? Because I know that's what you need and why you're here. So tell me, how much do you need? "She looked at him in disbelief. " D-do you think I'm here for y-your money? Do think I'm a gold-digger? ""I don't know... Maybe. "she Shook her head in disbelief. " I can't believe you. "She mumbled with her teary eyes as she look at him, he just stare at her with emotionless look.She came all the way here just to hear his judgement , insulting words? Her tears fall down and she quickly wipe it. She looked at him with anger and pain in her eyes.

At the New Year's Eve dinner, my mom suddenly assigns some rules to me and my siblings. She claims that those who don't fit the criteria aren't allowed to eat at the table. Rule number one: One must have spent at least 50% of their time keeping Mom company at home last year. Rule number two: One must have gone shopping with Mom all the time. Rule number three: One must keep giving Mom allowance. But it appears that I, the oldest sibling, am the only one who doesn't meet the requirements. My little sister, Chelsea Cage, begins acting coquettish immediately. "All Cassidy cares about is her business, unlike me, Mom! I care about you!" Meanwhile, my younger brother, Cameron Cage, lectures me with a frown, "What's the point of you being able to earn more money than average people? No matter how good a breadwinner you are, the fact that you don't care about Mom completely nullifies it!" My mom tells my siblings to sit around her happily. Then, she criticizes me in a sarcastic tone. "As parents, when we become old, what we need is our children's company, not cold hard cash." I'm pissed off, to say the least. I'm the breadwinner of this family, and yet these freeloaders get to put on airs in front of me. The reason why I don't go shopping with my mom is that she's never satisfied with whatever gifts I've picked out for her during the times I did go out with her. That's why I gave her money straight away. I didn't give my mom any allowance at all because all the money is regularly deposited into the supplementary card, which she has. Since my long-term efforts are worth nothing compared to my siblings' sweet talk, I suppose I can quit being the ATM of this family.