Humorous Sarcastic Quotes Novels & Stories

“I like it better than your baby talking” “Really?! Do you like it whenever I’m loud and proud? I mean… that’s the real me anyway and thanks for appreciating” “I am not appreciating you, you’re assuming” “You already said it and you cannot change that” “You’re childish” “Only with people that I want to get attention with” “And annoying” “I like to annoy you” “You’re pissing me off” “You look cool when outpatient” “Really?” I sarcastically asked but the next thing he did stun me.

Along he years of putting up with Madame Brown's antiques, I'd figured out the only way to win over her was to kill her with sarcasm. Like the saying goes, kill them with kindness, but in my case, sarcasm was the whip I'd use in lashing. Madame Browne's haunting smile deepened and she stepped further, “I'm sure you don't mind a little company, it seems you sure do need it with this tire issue.” “Tire issue?” I asked, keeping my cool. I didn't want to lash out yet, I was going to hold it all back. I made sure my tone was as sarcastic as ever, hinting that she k ew what I was talking about.

"I don't actually accept jokes." I bit the insides of my cheeks out of shame. This is so annoying yet embarrassing at the same time. I mean, I meant what I said lately and he should take it as a joke! He knows that that is a flirty sentence yet he acts like he does not get any sarcasm. I would like to punch him right away in his face. How can I do so anyway? I let out an exaggerating sigh and I almost massage my temple. "I am sarcastic for Pete's sake," I said in monotone, almost a whisper but I made sure that he can hear me say that.

The air was filled with their laughter as they retold splendidly outrageous and laugh inducing anecdotes. Sara launched the story, but with a dash of sweetness in her voice. “Austin presented me with a cup of coffee only for it to trip and spill all over my notes as if I am its clumsy oaf.” Austin interjected, he was doubtlessly sarcastic. “Of course no one could believe that Sara was reliable enough to observe a cup of coffee coming around.” Sara dodged with a smile that would not disappear from her face. “I don’t belittle your lack of intelligence; such is the case with some of the people.”

How could he even be so annoying? "Haha, very funny" I said sarcastically as his chuckle persisted. "Alright man, chill out. I was just fucking with you" he said as he forced himself to stop laughing, "Of course you're dashing man. You don't have to take everything so seriously" he said. " Of course I wasn't taking it seriously" I said as I regained my morale, " I already know what a fine man I am. I certainly don't need your approva....... "

I said sarcastically. He claimed to be always awfully busy. Why was he suddenly being nice? "Seems like someone doesn't like it when I am being nice," he sneered sarcastically before adding in a teasing tone, "I didn't know you love playing it the hard way, Sunshine." Chills went down my spine. I shuddered at his words. Nah, he was still scary. I laughed awkwardly. "You are so funny. Not everyone has a unique taste like you," I said with a weird smile. The sarcasm was obvious.

I shook my head and went to sit across Audrey. She was laughing at the quotes on the wall. “These are hilarious,” she said, reading one aloud: ‘I don’t need you to brag about me, I just don’t want you to deny me in front of people. – FART!’ Her laughter burst out, filling the café. I just stared, completely captivated. Every laugh, every sparkle in her eyes, it was contagious. “Here’s another one!” she giggled. ‘What a life! Eggs every single day… eggs, eggs, eggs… Do you know who said that?’ Her eyes gleamed mischievously.

Yvroz said with a satisfied smile plastered on his lips. Zenah tsked, "What a humble beast." "Oh, that's for the compliment."He said with a smile. "Idiot! That's a sarcasm!"Zenah said loudly. Before Yvrozz could speak back, a loud laugh was heard by both of them. Turned out it was Mr. and Mrs. Quivan who was already outside, can't wait to see them that's why they come to fetch them. The Mrs. Quivan, laugh, "Did you hear that, Dear? She called him a humble beast? And she said it was a sarcasm? Damn. That was so smooth to get burned by those sarcastic words." She was laughing as she was tapping her husband's shoulder.

Sarcastic, brutally honest humor that could only belong to one person. Luca. “Hey, um… so… hi. Before you block me, just hear me out. Yes, I stole your number from Nathaniel’s phone. Yes, I realize how completely insane and morally questionable that is. Yes, I might have been slightly… okay, significantly… under the influence of whiskey when I decided it was a good idea. No, I am not a stalker. But in my defense, I’ve seen your angry face now, and I would rather die by tequila shots than meet it again in person.”

The people who looked at his contagious laugh also began to smile. ~Hahahah "Oh, my god! Hilarious… that was freaking hilarious. ~Huff ~Huff… "my sides hurt so much... I might just die!" ~Tch "Stop laughing!" Kiara spewed slurs, "What the hell is so funny you fucking cockalorum?" ~Hahahaha "Just look at your face." Akash kept laughing at her face, "I never thought I'd see this day in my life. The first time you asked someone out and got shot down like a tool… you must be so embarrassed… Hahaha!"