Humorous Sarcastic Quotes Novels & Stories

A dangerous memory is worth keeping. Velgrave Academy is no ordinary school—it's a haven for the Bloodborn, gifted students with abilities most people could never imagine. But for Ophelia Wolfe, power isn’t just a gift; it’s a weapon—and her most guarded secret. Cold, composed, and unapologetically untouchable, Ophelia has no time for drama, distractions, or the infuriatingly charming Carl Maddox. He's reckless, sarcastic, and knows exactly how to push her buttons. He also remembers the one thing she’d hoped was buried: a secret moment shared one summer night. One they both swore to forget. Now, fate keeps throwing them together—class projects, whispered rumors, a growing mystery unraveling inside the academy. As tension turns into undeniable attraction, and playful rivalry turns into something far deeper, Ophelia and Carl are forced to confront what they’ve been running from: each other. But in a school where memories can be stolen and secrets are never safe, love could be the most dangerous risk of all. Because some secrets don’t just stay hidden… They haunt. They burn. And the most dangerous ones? They change everything.

Camila Brinx, a 19 year old heiress, living in the city of Los Angeles. She was the daughter of a wealthy business owner. Starting a new contract for business, Camila's father arranged for her to get married to billionaire bachelor Elijah Camorra, a 21 year old business man who follows in his father's footsteps and did everything his father said. Elijah Camorra was a charming young man, who has never looked at love as he did before. Growing up in the same wealthy environment, unfortunately Camila and Elijah had never spoken to each other but now they had to act as if they were in love to seal the deal for their father's contract Camila and Elijah are thrown into a dangerous game, both playing each other with witty words and sarcastic phrases. Both realizing that they were never enemies, now the two used their charm on the other for fun, while not noticing how hard they were both falling for the other. Life decisions had to be made together, since they were now married, Elijah falling for the girl he had admired for years and Camila falling for the man she thought was just like every other wealthy business man.

D-do you think I-I am that kind of women? Do y-you think that I w-would let you take my v-virginity when I h-have a? She said in a painful tone. But he was staring at her with his emotionless eyes. " Okay. I want a paternity test." B-but I don't have m-money for a paternity test. " She mumbled, He laughs sarcastically. He knew it! He then looks at her with his fierce and sarcastic eyes. " You don't have money? I knew why you're here. Cheap women like you use this trick to blackmail famous businessman. "She looked at him in disbelief. " D-do you think Do think I'm you gold-digger? She mumbled with her teary eyes as she looks at him; he stare at her with a cool look. Did she come all the way here to hear his judgement, insulting words? Her tears fall, and she quickly wipes it. She looked at him with anger and pain in her eyes.

“You have to choose between death or becoming my slave. Either I give you a death sentence now, or your life becomes enslaved. I have given you the liberty to choose.”  On the night of her 18th birthday, the time came for princess Alexa of the Blue Scorpion pack to meet her mate. This particular moment was everything she’d hoped for, but in the end, what happened was not what she'd expected. She found her mate, alpha Logan of the Red Lotus pack, the youngest, most charming and most desired alpha in all the realm, also happens to be her enemy. That night, Logan was bent on achieving his revenge against Danister, the Blue Scorpion alpha. He wasn’t going to let anyone get in the way, not even Alexa. That same night unlocked a new life for Alexa, not only was her pack taken into captivity but she, the high-held princess, was also taken into slavery at the hands of her mate. For the trauma her father caused him in the past, Logan plans to do so many things to Alexa. He wants to hurt her, to make her pay for all his suffering, he wants to make life as miserable as possible for her, till the point she begs for death. Now, there’s only one problem standing in the way of his plans; the mate bond they share won’t let him. Instead, it draws him closer to her; it makes him yearn for her in the most unimaginable ways. Find out where this love story between Alexa and Logan will lead in The Alpha's Hated Slave Mate. Book 1 of the werewolf mate series Book 2- The Beta's Unexpected Mate For updates on character reveals and quotes, including all my books, follow my Facebook page, Eyitee's library.

-WARNING 18+ ONLY- "Are you saying I'm your first kiss…?” Sathe nodded, his hands trembling when his mate's eyes flashed from hazel to red and then to hazel again. She chuckled; the sound dark, not humorous at all. “You're tempting me to devour you, aren't you? Was I the first to touch you here too?” Her hand ran along his length that was already as hard as a rock in his pants, and Sathe moaned. “Y…Yes!” “Open your mouth, Sathe…” Sathe acquiesced, his lips slipping apart the slightest bit and his mate didn't hesitate to swoop down like an eagle, licking along his lips before shoving her tongue inside. _ Would you look at that? The beauty came to hunt the beast, but ended up falling for it. How ironic... _ As a female Alpha, Verya Solace was always looked down at by her father and pack members who didn't believe a woman could rule, so when the opportunity to prove herself strong and capable arrived Verya didn't hesitate to take it. A beast had rose from its 200 years slumber, one malicious enough to induce fear in all the creatures of the supernatural world's heart, and she was determined to kill it. But on the very verge of doing so, she found that she couldn't, for the beast was a cute, little omega whose clueless eyes never cease to make her heart flutter... The beast was her mate, and she had all control over both his body and his mind.

In the ruthless underworld where empires are built on blood and betrayal, Cove Voss is king. Cold. Calculating. Untouchable. When his enemy’s younger brother is delivered to him bound, blindfolded, and broken Cove expects to use Elliot Reyes as leverage. What he doesn’t expect is the fierce, beautiful hacker who trembles at the mere idea of darkness… yet ignites something far more dangerous in him the moment the blindfold comes off. Trapped in Cove’s luxurious penthouse prison, Eli fights the possessive crime lord with every sarcastic word and defiant glare. But in the suffocating dark, where fear turns into forbidden heat and every touch is both punishment and promise, resistance begins to crack. Cove doesn’t just want revenge. He wants everything. Eli’s body. His surrender. His soul. As deadly secrets surface and Eli’s own brother plots his death, the lines between captor and captive, hatred and obsession, blur into something far more lethal. In a world where trust gets you killed, Cove Voss has claimed what’s his and he will burn the city to the ground before he lets Eli go.

I'm an unloved daughter in the family. For me, being beaten and scolded has become a habit, being treated unfairly is no longer a strange thing. When I was eighteen, my twin sister pushed me into bed with a strange man. Five years later, because of her, I was once again traded. "If you want your son back, you have to marry him." With that one quote from my father, I had to replace my twin sister to marry a man I had never met, Marcus Johansen, a billionaire, and CEO of Citus, who was rumored to be unapproachable and tend to be violent. For the sake of my son, I accept. I thought my life would go dark again as the day of the wedding approached. But the unexpected happened, the man who was supposed to be difficult nearby suddenly looked at me affectionately, gently kissed me on the lips, and smiled sweetly. "Found you, from now on, you're my wife" ---- A cold and thoughtful girl with a traumatic past and a sly, humorous, self-loving man who hides behind an arrogant shell. Let's see what happens in their love life. Ernesta: He is my brother-in-law and also my son's father. How can I handle this mess? What should I do now? Marcus: It doesn't matter who she is, I just know she's my wife and the mother of my children. That's enough. Now don't bother me, I have to go coax my wife.

My girlfriend and I had agreed that she would come home with me for Thanksgiving to meet my parents. However, the night before the trip, she canceled on me again. My older cousin, who had never liked me, immediately started throwing sarcastic comments my way. “Five years together and she still hasn’t met your family? Maybe she never took you seriously in the first place. And honestly, a man shouldn’t think too highly of himself. You might end up raising someone else’s kid without even knowing it,” he said. I ignored him and stepped outside to get some air, but then I found that the car parked in front of the neighbor’s house looked strangely familiar. My heart skipped a beat. Could this be a surprise from my girlfriend? I was just about to call her when my cousin clicked his tongue and pointed at the car. “Still, you’ve gotta admit Liam Crossby really knows how to live. He brought home a gorgeous and successful girlfriend. You? You’ve spent your whole life losing to him.” My eyes locked onto the license plate, and my fingers froze. Then, I dialed a hidden number I hadn’t used in years. “Bring the guys. Trash the car.”

Carolina Alves I came to America to write love stories, but my inspiration’s been running on empty. Then I followed an orange kitten onto the subway, through a strange neighborhood, and straight into the arms of a firefighter. Ace Rosario is steady, strong, and just a little sarcastic—and suddenly, I can’t stop writing again. The only question is… am I falling for my muse, or for the man himself? Ace Rosario Oldest sibling, last to get my act together. My family’s always seen me as the drifter, never the responsible one. But I’m determined to prove myself as a firefighter—and the last thing I expected was for Carolina Alves to tumble into my life with her wild hair, her Portuguese rambling, and my mischievous kitten, Goose, in tow. She makes me think love might be the one risk worth taking. The Purrfect Love Story is the heartfelt, playful conclusion to the Ravenwood Series. While it can be read as a standalone, Ace recommends checking out his siblings’ stories first—Man’s Best Wingman, A Bark in the Park, and The Purrfect Wingman—before diving into his own.

He smirked, knowing he was on the winning side. "So it's a done deal for three months?" He raised his eyebrows, putting his hand forth for a handshake. I looked at the long fingers and perfectly aligned nails and then at his patient face. Sighing to myself I my own hand into his and ignored the tingles that flowed through every nerve as his fingers curled around my hand and shook it lightly. "Yeah three months." "Goodnight then." He winked, removing his hand from mine and turned to walk away. "Hey wait!" I called out, suddenly remembering something. "You don't have my number." "What makes you think that? I have my ways Smith." And with one last wink I saw him take a turn and disappear from my sight. I let out a long breath, leaning on the nearby wall. Looks like I just made a deal with the Devil. * A sarcastic girl, a cocky guy. Throw in some mystery, murder, filthy jokes, wonderful friends, tons of kisses, secrets, surprises, eye-rolls and a killer on run. And you have got yourself a story never read before. ***So grab a cup of hot chocolate, some chips and a warm blanket and get ready to laugh, cry and bite your lip in anticipation. Enjoy!!