Humorous Sarcastic Quotes Novels & Stories

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said, "I outlived the buggers." Memorable Quotes "Scattered showers my ass!" Noah. "I have no problem with you talking to yourself as long as it doesn't turn into an argument" Woody Allen. "If at first you don't succeed try, try again. Then quit. There's no point being a damn fool about it." W.C.Fields. "The one thing that all porn stars have in common is a dread of filming the scenes that don't involve sex" Fanny Lightfoot (Porn Movie Director) "For every human problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

It could be he was used to acting in such an arrogant manner. He did not back away when faced with Chase's questioning and instead, approached Chase. "I said, you're too dumb to know good food when you see it. What a waste of a delicacy." Everyone in the restaurant laughed out loud when they heard this. Some of them even joined the insulting. "I've been to Bactria before. Everyone there is just as dumb as they are. They can't tell the difference between good and bad food." "That's right." Sarcastic laughs were heard all around them.

"I was like. . .what the heck are you saying? Is this how you behave on first dates?" “I don’t!” He scoffed, looking back at the counter, waiting for our order number to show up in neon red lights on a display screen on the wall. "I was just trying to lighten up the mood." “You were, weren't you?" I shook my head. "I’m calling this point of no return in our conversations as the 'point of retreat' since I'm sure the next time you randomly throw in one of these sarcastic and witty phrases and put me on the spot is definitely going to happen again.” I almost scoffed, offering him a tensed glance. "I want to be protected by the phrase."

Can you believe it? “Wow! You know sarcasm is a sign of a healthy brain, good, you’re already fine!” I chirped as I could not digest this happiness. By his dangerous aura, I thought he would even behave like a killer but here he is taunting me. Amazing! I mean not the taunt! For a response, he just stares at me. “You’re looking at me like I’m eating your brain.” I muttered, putting my bag next to me. “You look like one.” I heard him muttering. I just shake my head in defeat. Seriously, he is way too sarcastic.

“There have been plenty of times I could’ve run away, gotten help, but I didn’t.” He reached out and brushed a lock of hair behind my ear. “Because I’d kill you.” “At this point, I’m trying to live as long as I can. Therefore, I don’t want to piss your psychotic ass off.” “You push my buttons constantly.” I let out a little laugh. “Yeah, but that’s fun. You make it too easy.” “Why are you such a sarcastic pain in my ass?” I shrugged. “Sarcasm is my defense mechanism, so…shut up.”

“If I choose the job, I obviously can’t go back to my mom, though?” It took her few seconds before she sighed. “Yeah, it makes sense. Sorry, I got it from p*******t and thought it was a cool quote.” I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing. But failed miserably as she made an eye contact with me. I cracked up to the point she throws the sofa cushion right onto my face. “Shut up.” “It’s a cool quote, though.” “Fuck off.”

Then she pressed her lips together tightly. Sure, not at all her fault, actually she's not too wrong but he never felt very offended by what people say before, but she was right 'sarcasm' before maybe she didn't mean to tease spat him like that, or offend him, but he couldn't help hold up when she did tried to compare him with his job, it can turn into a lot of humiliation and reproach, maybe for her who expresses annoyance and anger by using harsh words but for him it drops his self-esteem by expressing a sharp insinuation that she has not yet understood the truth behind his attitude like other people, God … why she don’t believe him, doesn't she understand he did that just for 'her'. Ironi

She huffed in annoyance, "You're no fun. Anyway, you know who's coming back to town?" "Yeah, I know. That's why I'm asking, isn't it?" Her gaze narrowed at me. "Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, my dear Camiela." "That's not the full quote, my dear Shirley," I mocked. "Then what is?" My gaze fell to the floor as my elbow hit my purse, causing it to tumble onto the ground and send all my belongings pouring out. I groaned in annoyance and stood kneeling down to pick it up. "Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit—"

" Heavy sarcasm there dude." "It was a joke." He guffawed. " And I'm sorry, my Queen. You are smart. Really smart." "Thank you." "Smarter than the smartest, smarter than those who think they're smart…" "Ethan, that's enough…" "Smarter than the best, smarter than those who think they're really smart but in reality they're just averagely smart…" "That's enough!" I yelled and he wheezed, clutching his stomach. " You seem to be in a good mood today."

"Oh please, like you even know what it takes to be a boss. You probably couldn't even handle a basic Excel spreadsheet." "Coming from someone who probably thinks a PowerPoint presentation is their biggest accomplishment." Adrienne's eyes narrowed, her smirk turning into a devious smile. "You know what they say about assumptions, right? They make an ass out of 'u' and 'mptions.' Trust me, you're an expert at that." Linc raised an eyebrow, his expression unyielding. "Says the queen of cliché quotes. You should consider a career in motivational posters." Adrienne feigned surprise, her voice laced with sarcasm.