Inappropriate Pick Up Lines Novels & Stories

"Well, you’re stuck with me, so you don’t really have a choice." She chuckled, wiping a tear. "I wouldn’t have it any other way." For a while, we just sat there in silence, lost in our own thoughts. Then, out of nowhere, my mom sighed with a nostalgic smile. "You know, your father had the worst pickup line when we first met." I turned to her with wide eyes. "Wait, what? You never told me this!" She laughed, shaking her head. "Oh, it was awful. He walked up to me at a bookstore, holding a book about astronomy, and said, 'Are you a star? Because you’ve been orbiting my mind all day.'"

Alex: I winced. So he knows? "Is there a problem?" I couldn't hide the smile, tugging at my lips. "Are your out of your mind? You're making this worse than it already is! I won't let you mess with my woman, do you understand?" "Dude, chill. I'm not trying to mess with anyone. But if I were, I'd probably start by using a better pickup line than 'you're messing with my woman'." I replied and I heard the sound of a glass shattering.

Then Chris asks, "Wanna hear some pickup lines?" Piper grins, "Sure." "Are you g****e cause you have everything I've been looking for," he starts. Piper smiles, "Good one." "Did it hurt?" Chris asks. "Did what hurt?" "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" Piper bursts out laughing. "Wait. Your boobs look great in this dress," he says. Piper smiles but then remembers that it's supposed to be a pickup line. She has heard it before.

No wonder the poor guy fails. Quietly, I wonder why my friends—many guys, in fact—think a girl appreciates fancy pickup lines. Or some smolder face. Or ridiculous, practiced moves designed to be charming. I prefer to avoid coming off like a dude with “mad game” and it pays off in spades, even without my trying.

“And if I fail to give you 100 chemistry pickup lines?” “I will get to that later so do we have a deal?” “Yeah, I guess we do.” Dwight said as he brought his hand for a handshake. And that’s how my problems started, I thought he wouldn’t actually give me a 100 pickup lines, because for a while, he kept quiet and I thought I was victorious, hell I was already making planes of what I will tell him to do, but I didn’t know that he was just getting ready, now we are on number 84 and I have never been so frustrated since that holdup in traffic five years ago in Senegal. I already told him to stop, but his smart reply was we had a deal…. I made a deal with the fucking devil.

The memory was so vivid I could almost smell the candles—he always mixed the scents just right. A real smile tugged at my lips since I lost them for the first time. “And when he screwed up? Forget flowers—he’d come home with a spa gift card. Oh, and his jokes…” I laughed wetly. “God, the terrible pick-up lines.” “Like what?” Luke asked softly as he pulled back onto the road.

He asks, his grin widening just when I thought it couldn't be too obvious, he proves me wrong. I cringe with disgust, at his weak attempt for a pickup line. “Don't waste your time, I'm not from around these parts. I don't play the games you do but I would don't better, piece of advice, you can't fuck seclusion out your system and that smile, tone it down just a tad bit because it doesn't hide anything you feel inside.” His smile fades as he stares at me in awe, I look away for a second, scanning the room for Arielle.

“Hey lovely “. A male voice greeted I smiled, thinking it was going to be Alvise but the smile fell off my face when I saw who it was. The long-haired guy from the other day “Hey” I greeted back and immediately turned to focus on my phone “Did you just come out of the oven? Because you’re hot” he winked I whipped my head and gave him a confused look Where did that even come from? I pretended not to hear him “So tell me, do you work at Home Depot ?” He asked Not another pickup line please . “Um… no. Why?” I replied quickly, trying my best to appear busy so he’d get the hint and walk off

Dawn rolled her eyes, seeming to be shouting at the top of her lungs to make herself heard “I’m disappointed in you. Is that really the kind of guy you want, with that kind of bad pick-up line?” “I’m not being jealous…” Dawn’s friend whined, pouting “I’m just saying… It’s hard enough to compete with Deborah when she walked around the college hallways in sweaters and sweatshirts. How can I believe any guy will come on to me while we’re standing next to… That?” she pointed at Deborah’s entire body, almost hurt “And with that hair?”

He pouted. "I learned them online. Online, they say these are the top pick-up lines that will make your wife happier and love you more." "It turns out they're all lies." Kane sighed in disappointment, hanging his head. Unable to bear seeing him sad, Lani comforted him. "They're great, I like them. I'm just surprised you could come up with such sweet lines." Kane's eyes lit up with delight. "Really? Then I'll say them every day from now on!"