Insulting Pick Up Lines Novels & Stories

He smiles at me, and I look away. “What’s up?” He stumbles over his words a bit, trying to find the right ones. “I… I was just admiring your beauty.” I take a sip of my whiskey and let out a laugh. “That’s one of the worst pickup lines I’ve ever heard.” He doesn’t seem fazed. “That wasn’t a pickup line. It was a compliment.” I take a deep breath, amused by the situation. “Buddy, I know I’m beautiful and hot. I don’t need anyone to tell me that.”

I started reciting all the cringy, weird and perverted pick up lines I could think of, all the while watching the jerk King lose his cool. I put my hand over my heart to make my performance seem unfeigned, looking all touched and moved, a bit misty-eyed too. "DARLING, who'd have ever imagined you to be so naughty when you asked me if I sat in sugar because I've got such a sweet ass... I mean buttocks(I feared these primordials would mistake my ass for a donkey if I didn't enlightened them with the specifics). That I'm in all of your inappropriate..."

“You look even better up close,” he drawls, that Midwestern accent curling around the words. “Huh?” “You’re the girl of my dreams,” Jared Beaumont says matter‑of‑factly. That has to be the worst pickup line I’ve ever heard. “You can’t be serious. Who has that line ever worked on?”

I clinked my glass against his and took a long sip, the alcohol burning its way down my throat. “So,” he said, leaning closer. “Whoever he is, he must be a fool to make a woman like you unhappy.” I arched an eyebrow. “Is that your attempt at a pick-up line?” “Did it work?” he asked, grinning. I couldn’t help but smile. “Maybe.”

There, honesty is the best policy. "You're like the ice. You're ice prince." I'm vomiting words right now, even telling him the nickname I invented for him. That's it. Stop, Evie. Stop. Shut up. Shut uppp! "Maybe I can warm you up with a date?" Bahahahaha what a cheesy come back. Is this one of those lame pick up line? The one you used during your high school era? Which is... what? Twenty years ago? Bahahahaha! "You're weird." I am still laughing when he fixes himself back to the steering wheel and gives a signal to bring the car back to the main road.

Her lips were big; fake but that didn't matter because I didn't care if it was fake or real but whatever it may be, I'm having those wrapped around me tonight. Fuck! I cursed again as I almost came to that wild thought. When I finally got close to her, she was smiling at me. "You are a goddess" I started, hitting it off with my pickup line that worked like magic at all times. Only lame guys start with shit like, *what’s your name, beautiful?* "Is that what you tell those girls that make them remove their panties?" She asked. From there I knew it wouldn't be easy trying to….. "Because it just worked on me" She finished her sentence and I smiled, knowing I'd hit the jackpot again.

she said rudely, raising her voice a little too high for my liking Now this woman has stepped out of line, without thinking I responded "Excuse me miss, do not talk to me in such a rude manner, okay?" I pause a little to calm myself before continuing "You can express yourself but do not INSULT me, I repeat do not INSULT ME!" " Oh really?.." She asked sarcastically "So you feel that because you are his PA you can do as you please?.." she said laughing like a fool

“When you came last time, you lied to me. You’re not Brant’s woman.” “And?” “What are you doing here, princess?” he asked, smirking. “I’m not a princess. Don’t call me that.” “Well, since you’re not Brant’s woman… maybe I can be the one fucking your cunt,” he said, voice laced with arrogance. I laughed. “Is that the pickup line you use on women? I’m sure most of them slapped you across the face. The rest probably just looked at you like the fucking idiot you are.” His face twisted in anger for a second—jaw clenched, nostrils flaring, his blue eyes narrowing into slits—before he forced a fake smile and ran a hand through his disheveled hair like he could charm his way out of it. He couldn’t f

I said disengaging my body away from hers. “Why? “She asked gazing at me. “Can you even run a mile, talk more of miles? “I asked. “And if i fall, you will raise me up. When i’m tired you would carry me on your shoulder.Won’t you? “She said smiling. ‘What d'hell are you spewing out of your mouth Monica? ” “Wow! But that’s really cool. Sounds more like a pick up line”Vincent said then hit me playfully.

he asked, I can feel his gaze fixed on the side of my face. " You should feel egoistic. Because if you think, all women will find you attractive then you are too full of yourself." I say without looking at him, letting him know that, I am not going to fall for his cheesy looks. " But you are one of that beautiful woman from whom men can't take their eyes off," he said scooting closer to me. " Boys at school use better pickup lines than you," I say savagely looking at him. " Well, I am not a boy, I am a man. Given a chance, I will prove what else I am good at than those frat fuck boys." I didn't realize it, but when I felt his breath got my ear I realized how close he was.