Most Random Thing To Say Novels & Stories

he said, slicing his sandwich in half and offering one to me like it was perfectly normal to feed someone in the middle of a casual lunch. I took it, our fingers brushing briefly, but I didn’t flinch. “You’re dangerously charming, Vaughn.” “Is that your professional opinion?” “It’s my ‘girl-who-sees-through-you' opinion.” “Ah,” he said with much seriousness. “The rarest kind of woman.” We laughed together, easy and light. “Okay,” I said, brushing a few crumbs from my lap, “random question.” “I like random.” “If you could eat only one thing for the rest of your life, but it had to be slightly cursed, like, you’d love it, but something weird always happened when you ate it. What would it be?”

Still, you can see there's a certain logic to my thinking. After all, if you were asked to list the most likely occurrences in my life, regular masturbation sessions with two of my step sisters would have been pretty low, right? Probably buried somewhere between 'get my own unicorn' and 'find a million bucks abandoned on the sidewalk.' And yet, that's exactly what happened, with the kind of casual inevitability that usually accompanies events like 'tuna sandwich for lunch.'

Okay, I was overly creeped out. “Love really is the closest thing to madness,” I muttered, walking away.

Maybe my mouth can say what my tangled words can’t. So I do the simplest, stupidest thing.

Then I looked back and said the most random thing I didn’t know I could say “Haven't you seen a pretty woman today?”

“You are the best thing I never planned.” ----- Anonymous -----

he continued, his voice now a conspiratorial whisper, "there's a legend that says if you find a four-leaf clover, you'll have good luck forever? I've spent countless hours searching for one, but they're rarer than you'd think!" Sebastian's tales of randomness flowed effortlessly, each anecdote a stepping stone away from the precipice of my anxieties. He regaled me with stories of peculiar cloud shapes that looked like mythical creatures, of quirky animal behaviors he'd observed during his childhood, and of the sheer absurdity of finding faces in everyday objects. It was as though he were constructing a whimsical tapestry of the mundane, weaving it into an enchanting distraction from the inex

'What’s the most stupid thing you have ever heard anyone say? 'Easy! I was listening to the radio and the man played the most awful, tuneless, nerve- sawing piece of music. People phoned in and complained and pointed out that as licence-payers, they had a right to hear music they liked. And he said, ‘at least you now know what you don’t like.’ How arrogant and patronising was that?' 'Wow! That was severe.' 'Not to mention your special friend who called the French Revolution a mistake and it serves the French right if they are short of period furniture.'

“How about we watch a movie?” “Like a movie marathon?” “Maybe. Or, I dunno. A movie night, I guess. I don’t know. Do you have anything in mind?” “I have nothing in particular in mind. We can do whatever you want.” “I kinda want to take you somewhere tomorrow. Like to a restaurant. Or a park. I don’t really care which one, as long as we do it together.” “Sounds good to me.” Max gave a small chuckle. “Of course. It’s probably going to be something boring, but I don’t care. You pick the location anyway. We can just hang out and do random stuff together. It’ll be fun.”

I tell her "We have never been random" She says "Dani I was a virgin til a few months ago and let me tell you random sex is the best sex. Have him bend you over a desk or the kitchen counter. Trust me it will be worth it" I tell her She turns bring red and I giggle and the front door opens and the guys walk in. "Why are you so red?" Matt asks Dani "Oh I just told her to stop trying to have a baby. That it will happen when you aren't trying. I even told her to throw in some random sex. What in the world have you been doing to this woman?" I ask