Orphan Dark Humor Jokes Novels & Stories

“But, I mean, if you’re that desperate, bro, I don’t mind jerking you off. Charity work. For old times’ sake.” I stared at him. Deadpan. For a full three seconds. Then I said, voice flat as asphalt, “Even as a joke, that wasn’t funny.” He threw his head back and howled while Ellis choked on his beer, coughing and laughing at the same time, tears actually forming at the corners of his eyes. It wasn’t fun being the fucked-up sideshow. I took one last drag then crushed the joint out in the ashtray so hard the glass cracked.

"He has a very small dick and collapses after the first round. He has a weak wolf." I couldn't hold back the laughter, "but you stuck to him." "That was because I had fallen in love with him. I didn't mind enduring that much with him." "Can I make a dark joke?" I asked. She raised a suspicious brow, "Okay, let's hear it." I giggled wickedly, "You would have taken the same step your mum did if you ended up with that man." Raven's silence scared me at first, as I thought she didn't take the joke lightly.

“In the middle of a dark forest, a man and a woman have sex. After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, ‘Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!’ The woman replies, ‘Me too. You’ve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!’” Then I burst into loud laughter. ********* “Stop it, Conan. For Christ’s sake.” I laughed frantically to get away from him. A chuckle broke out while he tickled my neck, armpits, and waist. “If you don’t stop being childish, I will surely kill you.” “Would you like me to tell you another joke?” “Oh, no!” I blurted out. “I’ll pee in my gown if you don’t stop your dirty jokes.”

"I thought I knew how to make an omelette. I guess not." "Don't beat yourself up, or should I say cut yourself up?" "Haha, that was terrible." "It was good, it was a good joke," "Then how come I'm not laughing?" "Cause I think you cut up your funny bone too," Marcus couldn't hold back his laugh, "that made no sense, at all." "Yet you laughed, so mission accomplished. When I was a kid, my dad would make a bunch of dad jokes whenever we got hurt just to distract us from the pain, they were rarely funny." Marcus chuckled. "But it's the effort that counts, huh?"

"What's going on?" I opened my mouth to deflect, to make another joke, but nothing came. The words just stuck in my throat. "I can't do it anymore," I finally said. My voice sounded strange. Small. "Can't do what?" "The jokes. The humor. The whole funny guy routine." I laughed bitterly. "Everyone expects me to make things lighter. To crack jokes when things get dark. And I've been doing it because it's easier than facing what I'm actually feeling." "Which is?"

I was already so tired of sitting there, and talking about one business deal or the other. Everything was fun from the start, but it stopped being fun when the big guys started to speak about their wives and children. It really disgusted me because I had none. All I could do was to watch as they laughed when complaining about their wives behaviour. I was sick of it already. Being overly frustrated by their unattractive jokes, I stood from the table, and excuse myself from staying with them. They sincerely didn't have any idea how bad I felt.

My smile widened as I mindlessly took off my jacket setting it down on the leather seat. I clung to Dalton chatting with him as Enzo thought it was the time for the like of the day as he called it. It was one of those stupid habits that we had going on as kids and it kinda stuck with us and Enzo was the one with the shittiest and corniest jokes. I braced myself to hear one of his dad jokes, Dalton was holding in his laugh at the eager look on his brother's face already. "What do you call a joke without a punchline?"

“Don’t fuck this up by laughing.” He laughed harder, and I caught the side of him no one ever saw. HJ never really laughed, not like this. He’d momentarily lost the dark side of himself—the empty, hollowing side that sucked at your soul when he looked at you—and appeared like a genuinely carefree guy in his twenties.

Heavy with shit we weren’t saying. I cleared my throat. “Alright. That’s enough depressing hospital talk. You know what would really make my day better?” He glanced at me, brows raised. “A really dumb joke.” Andrew blinked. Then tilted his head a little, lips twitching like he was fighting a smile. “A dumb joke?” I nodded, lips curving around the cigarette still hanging from my mouth. “Come on. Hit me.” He gave me a look—half skeptical, half amused. “Fine. What do you call a sad strawberry?”

" Now I did not only have the last laugh ... I had the best laugh!!! 😂😂 ✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️ Stupid girl. 😂 She will play game till she's tired of it 😂 Unlock the next hilarious episode with 3k likes!! 🤩🤩