Peanuts Joke Novels & Stories

" I'm a genius." I giggle." I got admitted once and since then , I got scared to eat it. Do you have any allergies ?" " You should guess." " That's not fair. I mean I told you why I'm allergic to peanut butter." " But you didn't tell me you were allergic to peanut butter. I worked that out myself." He shrugs and look into my dark brown eyes. I sigh and ponder. Yeah I know nothing about him. I'm such an idiot.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Mokunfayo Badmus: Seated in the large creamery, the only thing blaring in my head as I watched the lips, of the boy seating opposite me, moved to inform me of the biggest joke of the century was; You have got to be kidding me! I'd driven furiously all the way across town, frustrated and sick with worry to see a hale, hearty and all dapper Stephen only for a piece of joke? You have got to be kidding me! In silence, I waited patiently for the face of the boy before me to slowly morph into a look of mischief as he laughed out loud and tease me about the look on my face when he dropped the 'bombshell'. I waited for him to tell me 'JK, LOL, aunty you take things too seriously', then I would

“I love peanuts.” “If you do get paid in kind,” Lor says, “instead of peanuts or brownie points, you’ll get hamburger points.” “Maybe you’ll get a lifetime supply of hamburgers,” Francine says encouragingly. “It’s all cool,” Nate says. “I’ll even throw in a free jingle a la Ava Max.” Nate clears his throat and then sings: “I’m all out of steak. But I’m not gonna cry. Countryside’ll give me what I want. ’Cause I feel way too hungry tonight.”

She hissed, “we need to leave immediately!” “Alright, alright.” I patted her arm. “I’ll just get the eggplants.” I turned and beamed widely at the worried girl. “Have you seen a brinjal this big and shiny?! It’s like—.” “A cock soaked in cum,” someone said. What...? My face feel deadpanned as it swivelled up to voice. An elderly man in Einstein’s age and appearance was bellowing in laughter at his own dirty joke, his round belly shaking uncontrollably.

I turned to Alex to ask him about it, but when I saw his face, he suppressed himself in bursting a laugh, amused at me. “What are you doing?” He asked as his shoulders shook when he could not stop laughing. “Looking for the peanut tree?” I twitch my lips, squinting my eyes as I think where peanuts come from. “Or plants?” My eyebrows raised when I saw him squatting on the plants and putting on his gloves. “Cupcake, we’re digging peanuts, not picking them up the tree,” he said, pointing at the plants. “Oh!” I exclaimed, blushing from embarrassment. I walked toward him, squatting as I curiously watched him loosen the soil around the plant with a garden fork before harvesting the peanuts.

Not even a little bit? I moved back away from him and when I said nothing,he came around to stand beside me again,he held my hand and we continued walking. “I’ve been browsing through a number of jokes this couple of days.I think I’ve become a very funny man.” I suppressed my lips in a tight line.”You don’t say.” “How do you open a banana?”He asked. “You peel it open.”I shrugged. “No.With a mon-key.” I grimaced and when he saw I didn’t get the joke,he rattled out.

Then someone in the crowd sneered, their voice dripping with sarcasm. "Oh, that must be Sophia's sugar daddy. Showed up to defend her. She's not picky, is she. She'll take a guy in his fifties." The crowd erupted. Some covered their mouths, laughing. Others joined in openly. "Yeah, I heard she doesn't care about age. Maybe this old man's a regular too." The dean's expression tightened. He turned sharply toward the crowd. "All of you–shut your mouths!" He glanced at my injuries, his voice urgent.

Max smiles, “You build blanket forts, you tell jokes, you know how to ballroom dance.” “I don’t tell jokes,” I explain. “Chad said you do. Lucy told him some of the jokes. It made them laugh,” Max replies. Curious, he asks, “Could I hear one?” I shake my head, “It was corny jokes to cheer her up is all. It was, “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.” Things most kids hear on a playground.” Max looks disappointed. Taking a deep breath, I say, “A cheeseburger walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here”.”

"Did Vanessa say that the chairman's daughter is a kept mistress? That's the biggest joke I've ever heard!" Right then, Terrence couldn't hold it in any longer and finally let out a cold laugh. "You idiots. This branch office has been losing money year after year. Headquarters has been wanting to investigate for a long time! "If Ms. Monroe hadn't hidden her identity and come down here to dig into your shady accounts herself, how much longer did you think you could keep fooling everyone? "You sure have some nerve making Ms. Monroe serve you coffee, fetch you water, and take the blame for you. How many heads do you think you have to lose?"

“What is the weirdest food combination you have ever eaten? Helen laughed, “that would be peanut butter hamburgers,” Everyone grimaced, “peanut butter hamburgers?” “Yes, actually I was with my kid when that happened, I was making dinner for us when she decided to play some peanut butter on my hamburger and I couldn’t throw it away cause it was my favorite so I ate, and surprisingly…it was good,” They all grimaced the more, “I refuse to believe that,” “Then I’ll make it all for you guys one day,”