Peanuts Joke Novels & Stories

"Even as a joke, that kind of attitude isn't funny nowadays. You have to stay strong. Felicia, you've survived the zombie apocalypse. A few mouthfuls of peas should be no problem." For some reason, we all giggle at Daisy's unexpected joke about peas, and I'm not really sure why. The other three girls don't seem to know why we're smiling, but none of us seems to care. When we all stop laughing, I look back down at my tray, but something at the table catches my attention, and I look back up.

It wasn’t like I could say no. He probably thought this was his way of cheering me up, or maybe this was his version of that “perfect way to play” he’d mentioned earlier. So he started. The first joke was… okay. It was about a chicken and a ladder, though I didn’t really get the point of it. Still, I forced a small laugh. I didn’t want to ruin the mood. He went on to the next one. This one was about a man walking into a bakery and asking for bread shaped like a guitar.

They were still laughing, like nothing mattered. I hugged my knees to my chest and pressed my back to the cool brick wall. I dragged the toe of my shoe through the dirt, drawing meaningless lines. Circles. Anything to distract myself. What were they even laughing about? Maybe it was something Penny said. She wasn’t even that funny, yet somehow everyone she talks to laughs at her jokes like she’s some kind of comedian. I rolled my eyes. I bet the Caelum Devils are fawning over her. Like puppets.

the man said to her. She laughed, the kind of laugh that made heads turn. “Distracting? That’s bold coming from a man who’s been staring at unopened peanuts for ten minutes.” I glanced at them, and the man shifted awkwardly under my gaze. “I was… strategizing. Peanuts are…kinda complicated.” “Complicated?” she echoed, amused. “Yes.” He puffed out his chest. “There’s the packet tear, the perfect salt-to-crunch ratio, the… uh… chewing coordination.”

“It’s a little wonder you were the best graduating student” Nate commented as they shared a laugh They talked about their college experiences. Ruby went on to tell him about how she dated a guy who didn’t like peanut butter and jelly. “He must be a real loser then,” Nate laughed again. “Who the hell doesn’t like peanut butter and jelly?”

James rolled his eyes. “Biggies for labour prefects.” Gina smiled. “Sure bet.” Ella hyped as we all laughed. “Maybe Joe for assistants ass prefect.” Tj joked and we all laughed about it. “Can these tests just end, my brain feels punctured.” I complained. “Pele(sorry) o, flat tyre brain.” James teased grabbing his sandwich and making a run for it, clearly knowing what was coming next and I dropped my fork hastily as I chased after him, our friends and Nuel laughing so hard as the tried to call us back, much to the entertainment of the other students present in the cafeteria.

“You don’t wanna be best buds with arachno-face? Jeff clutched his arm and dug his foot in the ground, trying to breathe quietly. God, it hurts! There was a brief silence, then the kid who wasn’t Preston spoke. “Cut it out!” His voice cracked on a high note. “Keep your dick pointed at your own urinal, man.” “Dude, I’m just messing with you. Don’t get your panties twisted.” Preston’s snort echoed off the walls. “And speaking of aardvarks, what’s with your dick, man? It looks like an anteater.”

I'm not really sure what to do, but I want her to feel better before she leaves here. "Hey, can I ask you something?" I say. She nods and takes a sip of her drink. "Do trees poop?" I ask and she nearly chokes on her coffee before giving me a curious look. "What?" She asks. "Do trees poop?" I repeat and she chuckles a little. "Um... No?" She asks rather than states. "Of course they do. How else would we get number two pencils?" I say. When my joke lands she tilts her head back to laugh, shaking her head as she looks at me.

Rose asked, looking at Molly while I shuddered. "Yes, that is good, but pickles and peanut butter taste yummy as well. It is a good mix, "she smiles while I gag. Jeremy chuckles. "Tiny doll," I laugh. "What Gunner? I'm serious. That is yummy. Just try it. You will love it. She gives me a serious look, and I just shake my head laughing.

He laughs before walking to where my backpack is and picking it up. “Did you eat something today?” he asks as he unzips it. I shake my head, and he pulls out a sandwich. “Peanut butter and jelly,” he says as he extends his hand to me. I am not sure if I should take it. “Is it poisoned?” I ask. He laughs again. “No.” I take a few steps forward and snatch it from him and take a big bite. “This is so good,” I moan with my mouth full.