Peanuts Joke Novels & Stories

I raised a brow, “Try me.” He grinned like a child who had been given permission to cause chaos, “Okay. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?” I gave him a flat look, “Seriously?” “He made a mint.” I groaned, and it was genuine this time, “Nathan, I swear…” He shrugged, clearly pleased with himself, “There’s more where that came from. Want another?” I rolled my eyes but nodded, “Fine. I could use a few more bad jokes.”

He's about to loose it. "I'm last. Banana right? Fine, just don't laugh. You must be a banana, 'cause I find you very A-PEELING?" I said rather in question since I wasn't sure if my joke was funny or not. But surprisingly, they all laughed. That's a relief. "Oh, this one. It's an Olive. OLIVE you so much that it hurts! HAHAHA!" Ione remembered. "That's nothing, listen to mine. You make my heart skip BEET! HAHAHA! The vegetable! Burned!" Harry said.

I asked and sat on the large chair as Caleb entered his closet. I started to laugh again. I mean… the irony. I couldn't help myself. "You know, the beans are spilled. You don't have to go back into the closet." Caleb popped his head from behind the doors and looked at me, puzzled. Then it dawned on him and he sighed. "That was lame." He shook his head and disappeared again. "Come on! It was a good one! A situational joke, ever heard of them?" "Yeah, right." I heard his groan and chuckled.

I raised an eyebrow, "Butter who?" "It's butter if you don't know," he said cracking up laughing half way and I stepped aside to let him in, he bent down kissing my cheek which felt strange "I have a pizza joke too but it's not that funny. Ooh what smells nice? I have pizza, monopoly, and shit six dollar wine I picked up from ALDI, if we get poisoned, call triple zero, so have that on speed dial"

“So, what do you call an odd pizza?” “Odd pizza? Pizza with pineapple!” “Wrong! I love Pizza with pineapple.” “Really? Everyone hates that.” “Nope. The social media made everyone hates it. It’s good~” “Okay. Okay. So, what’s the answer?” Ryan leaned closer and whispered, “A weir-dough.” Slyvester blinked. Soon, he shook his head. “It’s not funny.” “It was! When my friend told me that joke, I laughed so hard.” “Who? Emily?”

I can’t say no to that face “Of course you can. Well, are you hungry? Let’s eat.” He hugged me so tight I could hardly breathe. As I grabbed the bread, I noticed there were peanuts nearby. I thought I would make some peanut butter. Kids like peanut butter, don’t they? “Hey Yukio, have you tried peanut butter before?” He looked at me with a confused look.

I snorted before I coughed up some more smoke. "I wish you would." John laughed. "Lord, John, you shouldn't say shit like that." "Why not? You can't knock it until you try it." John winked at me and started to burst out laughing; he was dim. What would Pepper think if she heard her son talk like this? He better be glad it was just me that heard him. Not everyone would be as understanding when it came to nelly jokes. "Stop bumping your gums." I shook my head at him with a smile.

Bradley Fry, my CEO husband, loves bringing his friends home for meals the most. He claims that this makes them feel like an actual family. As they drink in the feast I've whipped up for everyone, one of Bradley's friends comments smilingly, "I knew that you were a virtuous one, Emily! Now this is how the legitimate wife should act!" My expression doesn't falter as I ask in a half-joking manner, "Oh? Does Bradley have a spoiled and pampered mistress by his side, then?" His friends are stunned by my question. A trace of panic crosses their eyes simultaneously. But Bradley just wraps an arm around my shoulders with a smile. "Don't listen to their nonsense, Emily. Who else is worthy as my

She was pretending to be looking for their friend when, in reality, she was just trying to change the topic. Bambi laughed while pointing a finger at Jada and warning her, “Don’t you dare call him that or he might kill you first, even before Kobe could.” “I still don’t understand where he got that much stupidity!” Jada complained, trying her best to control her laughter. Honey chimed in, “True, I don’t know who he took after,” then she glanced at Bambi. When their friend realized that they were teasing him, he scrunched his nose, “Byotches! Don’t me! I’m in no way as stupid as that toasted bread!” he snapped.

I said, tears in my eyes but smiling. "We've got your back, sister," Ken said, hugging me again. They gathered around, and we hugged. Before eating, we changed into the pajamas Thirdy gave us. We ate happily as Dyson and Ken cracked corny jokes. "What do you call a small squid?" Ken asked. "What?!" we asked simultaneously. "Hey, psst!" he said. We were puzzled as we didn't get his joke. "Pssst!" he said again. "Hahahahaha!"