Peanuts Joke Novels & Stories

It's pathetic! He dropped that bomb and strutted off before I could fire back. I could hardly believe my ears that such boneheaded words came from the man I have loved for years. His so-called 'cozy winter promos' were just a table with free cups of cheap black coffee and some giveaway gloves out front. The coffee often went cold, untouched, and those gloves ended up in the street bin. However, Seth, of course, thought they were pure gold. Somehow, I was the one cashing in on Lily's ideas!

"Did you get me peanuts?" "Do you have to eat peanuts every day?" "I love it and... It's good... It contains... Pro...prot.." He trails off, biting on his lips, thinking hard. "Protein?" I offer. "Yes, protein!" "And who told you that peanuts contain proteins?" "Umm. I told myself" He says cheekily. I laugh again, stretching out the paper bag to him. "Here you go" He squeals again, wrapping his arms around my neck. "Thank you, uncle Enzo. I Iove you!"

Those that worry about my absence and had come on the knowledge of my reappearance. We had the kitchen counter rounded and filled with openness as we dine and wine for the rest of the evening. "Word of advice," Wendy teased amidst our dinner, "do not keep broccoli with a beetle, it doesn't deserve the risk." Everywhere went silent as Park and I looked at one another for clarification. "Am I being called a beetle?" Park's realization interpreted the joke and Wendy and I burst into laughter. "I don't know you tell jokes," I applauded Wendy when I managed to control my amusement.

My smile widened as I mindlessly took off my jacket setting it down on the leather seat. I clung to Dalton chatting with him as Enzo thought it was the time for the like of the day as he called it. It was one of those stupid habits that we had going on as kids and it kinda stuck with us and Enzo was the one with the shittiest and corniest jokes. I braced myself to hear one of his dad jokes, Dalton was holding in his laugh at the eager look on his brother's face already. "What do you call a joke without a punchline?"

he laughs. "i don't joke with those stuff especially my peanuts " i defend. "oh i know alright " i know what he's referring to. There was this one time i was suffering from the worst experience a female can ever have, Japan day. Or you can call it MP, or that time of the month, or middle red. Well however you do call it you should know that mine are the worst and the only thing that can keep me calm are my peanuts of course. But then one of Kyle's close friends came over that day and thought it was give away snack. I nearly bit his finger of that day.

This is the most goals joke as long as I've heard. "You're kidding, right? I swear! That's funny. Wow! If you join to stand up comedy, I make sure you can be the winner." "Na," said Mommy quietly. Chiko still showing his smile. "I'm serious and this is not a joke. You can tell the difference too, right?" Shit!

Then: "Maybe." His voice barely worked. Then Peanut frowned. Thinking. Really thinking. Then she walked over. Slowly. Then grabbed his hand. Then: "That's dumb." Silence. Then: "Really dumb." Then: "I don't like it." Honestly? Fair. Very fair. Reasonable actually. Then several people laughed through tears. Then Peanut continued. Then: "But if you save everybody..." Pause. Then: "...we can just be friends again." Nobody spoke. Then Peanut shrugged. Like it was obvious.

Definitely. "Nope!" the man replied, cheerful and oblivious. "So, two olives were walking down the street. One fell behind. The other turned and said... 'Olive you!'" A beat of silence. Then came that laugh, loud, unfiltered, like he was the funniest man alive. I gritted my teeth. That laugh again. Like nails on glass. How can someone sound so punchable through a screen? Dante didn’t even respond this time. Just silence on his end. I imagined him pinching the bridge of his nose. Honestly, I was about to do the same. Then he let out a slow breath. "You’ve been banned from joke privileges."

“Okay, I told you something embarrassing about me. Now you have to tell me something about you.” “Okay, okay.” I laughed. “I never tell anyone my favorite sandwich because people think it’s really weird. But I have a guilty pleasure for peanut butter, bacon, and banana sandwiches.” “Seriously?” Luke stared at me wide-eyed. “I know, it’s really weird.” I put my hands on my face in mock embarrassment. “No, it’s just crazy because it’s my favorite sandwich too. I’ve never met anyone else that eats them.” I laughed. “Wow, that’s a crazy coincidence. I don’t even remember how I came up with it, but I’ve been eating it for years.”

Jeanne was just so used to those jokes. “Ah, I have another one. Even Jeanne never heard of this,” said Ma. “Hit me up,” replied Jeanne. She looked forward to the joke. Aaron sipped the coffee. “Okay... Do you know why mushrooms like to party?” Asked Ma. This time the two of them stayed silent. “This one's hard,” said Aaron while thinking for the answer. “Cause they had those polka dots? I mean they got quite nice costumes there,” Jeanne tried to answer.