Peanuts Joke Novels & Stories

They were all 6 feet and above. Sometimes, I wondered why God was cruel enough to make me that small, but then I was grateful, knowing that being tall could make me more awkward than I already was. "Why only peanut butter?" Raven frowned as she climbed down from the ladder. She scrunched up her brows, wrinkling her nose. "You don't like that?" I asked her. Raven gagged slightly, shaking her head, "I don't and I can't help but wonder why anyone likes it." "Allergic?" I asked again because most people wouldn't go near peanut butter because it triggered their allergies.

“Did you just say hate?” “Dude…” I cut Dante off before he could say something even more stupid. “Anthony doesn’t hate peanut butter! He’s allergic to peanuts, dipshits!!” Their faces fell in unison. We all turned to Anthony’s table now. He was so red, if a tomato was placed next to him you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference in color. Everyone around him seemed to be clueless as to what to do. I stood up quickly and ran to his table. He fell over from his seat just as I arrived.

"Calvin! You could choke me." "You seem fine. Can you make a peanut butter sandwich?” With his chin Calvin pointed to two packets of bread and also a jar of peanut butter from a brand whose advertisements often appear on television. But in addition to peanut butter, there is also a bottle of strawberry jelly that will be delicious when combined with peanut butter. Seeing that, Hazel suddenly felt her stomach begging to be filled. There really shouldn't be a need to act so childish with a sulk like that. "Do you like it if I add strawberry jelly?"

The man who created the joke was Nate Brighton. “No wonder I’ve smelled something disgusting, there is trash here apparently,” Nate sneered, followed by the laughter of his two friends. “Hey, did you forget to tell your clerk to clean,” his blonde friend sneered . “Hmm, they cleaned up earlier, but the trash show up again,” Nate explained. “Looks like your luxury car collection is very shiny and makes a hobo seem enchanted,” his long-haired friend said. “Nate, I think you need to be generous with him. Just give a little of your money to that beggar!” Nate’s friend exclaimed and mocking Nicko.

Vincent pov I laugh so hard my eyes water. I haven't heard anything so ridiculous and stupid in a long time. The last time someone made me laugh like that was in high school. But the look on my Beta's face can only mean how serious his question was. I wipe away my tears and straighten my posture. Like a kid trying to look serious, I clear my throat a few times before speaking up. "That was a great joke, my friend, but warn me next time before you try to say something so absurd. One of these days, I might choke on a piece of food and die. Do you want it?" I raise an eyebrow at him.

"Is this lunch?" "Whenever you wanna eat it." He shrugs. "It's just a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with some chips and cookies." "What kind of peanut butter and jelly?" "Crunchy peanut butter, strawberry jelly on white." "And the chips?" "Funyuns. I put a breath mint in there too, because I know you're self-conscious about it." I'm feeling lucky to know he's remembered all of this about me. For some reason I need to know he remembers the rest. "What about the cookies?"

It specified no peanuts. "Did you read the brief?" Kellan looks at her, and she nods. "Then why does it have peanuts?" "It doesn't." Lyra looks at him, confused. "It tasted like it, so what's in it?" Maybe he is overreacting? "It's not peanuts. I didn't put a peanut in. I just added nut shavings." I fight back the laugh. I joked with Kellan about poisoning Darius, but did she actually do it? Or nearly did.

A message bubble lit up under his name, cheerful and oblivious. Just another one of his dry, stupid jokes—something about his dinner being so terrible he was convinced the restaurant was trying to assassinate him with undercooked chicken. He'd probably attached one of those ridiculous GIFs he was always finding, something animated and silly that was meant to make me laugh.

"And who knows, maybe I'll even remember it and tell it to someone else someday." Ida grinned. "Oh no, please don't subject anyone else to that joke. I wouldn't want to be responsible for causing anyone else's eyes to roll," she joked. Avery laughed. "Don't worry, I won't hold it against you. But, if you want to hear a real joke, I've got one for you." "Okay, hit me with it," Ida said, leaning in. "Why did the chicken cross the playground?" Avery asked. "I don't know, why?" Ida replied.

“Just trying to be realistic about what this one’s going to let me get away with today. Would you eat PB and J when corndogs were on offer?” “Daddy, Daddy, I want a corndog!” I heaved a withering sigh. “Case in point,” I said a bit dryly. “Fair enough. I’m relieved you didn’t bring a peanut butter and tuna sandwich,” she said. I laughed, remembering that conversation with fondness. “Oh, wait, you didn’t want to eat that today? Damn, I had a whole dinner planned and everything,” I teased. “Peanut butter and tuna?” Noah asked incredulously. “That’s gross!”