Sarcasm Jokes

“You hired me, to babysit a MAN?” Kiara asked glaring at the Russian mafia don who shrugged. His son stood by the door, his arms crossed over his chest as the two men watched the fuming girl in front of them. “I never said ‘babysit’, I merely said ‘keep out of trouble’” the don answered her casually. “He is a man, he would be at least twenty-five…” “I’m twenty-eight, and thank you for noticing that I’m a man” Alessio said stopping her, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “Ah, see, he’s even polite” his father said raising an eyebrow at Kiara who ran her fingers through her hair as she processed the situation she was in. “You told me to take care of your son!” “I never said that he was a kid though…” ******************** It all started with a job offer, one that united two different worlds. A girl who’s father is a federal agent, and a man, who was the future Russian mafia don. Her job was simple, keep the man out of trouble. However, what she didn’t know was that this trouble included him being a killer, one who was out for revenge.

Have you ever pain so raw it feels like your hear is being dragged out of your heart? The type that breaks into pieces you could never find because they are lost to the wind of scorn and shame. Cassandra carries her pain like a weight on her shoulder everyday despite her smiles and jokes, too young to remember what it felt like to have parents before she lost hers to an accident her grandparents do not like talking about she is trying to find the little good life has in store for her. But she is given a brutal awakening when the one person she thought would bring her much needed happiness tosses her aside. So Cassandra runs away from it all, she runs far enough to never feel the despair looming behind her. And she runs into the arms of Ray, handsome, cocky, but caring, considerate, and loving. Cassandra is about to find out love works without the mate ties and build bonds with the most unlikely people. Cassandra is about to find the love acceptance she always yearned for in the most unlikely place.

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Amy Leah!" were his words to her when their love began blooming. He was just one of their hacienda workers, skinny and tan-burned. But she loved him...unconditionally! ... "One day, you will swallow all the insults you threw at me today. One day, you will regret everything you did to me. One day, you will also kneel before me, Amy Leah!" was his wrath when he found out about her betrayal. "Oh! I've regretted the day that I told you about my fake feelings. Coz you're so fun to play with!" engulfed with sarcasm, her taunting remarks wreaked havoc in his life. ... "You think I'm done with you, Señorita Amy Leah? What happened to your brain? Don't you know, my REVENGE has just begun. Kneel and pick those up!" was his lordly command now that he was in a suit and living in luxury. "Desmond, I'm sorry!" were the only words she could mutter after everything that she had done. ... What made her betray her first love?

She is a free spirit, trapped in a bird cage of death, danger and despair. Little Alessa has always known one thing above all- she was born to be the perfect Principessa of the Cosa Nostra, the Italian Mafia. She was urged to smile when asked to, laugh even when the jokes were anything but funny, charming to all who were allies. She was perfection incarnate...well, that's what they think. They know nothing of her wild abandon, of her plans to be anything but the perfect princess, royalty of a world dredged so deep in blood, she choked on it. Her plans to run were absolute...well, until HE came along. The mysterious Pakan-a Don like her father- shielded by the shadows that he ruled from. He was the anomaly that she least expected. He destroyed her plans and she hated him for it. So why then does her heart beat so fast when he is near? Why is he the one she thinks about before she sleeps? Why does she so long to see him when she's sad? She wanted the freedom, the life beyond the shadows and explore the world. But Emerald colored eyes, cocky smirks, rough hands, cigarettes and darkness were starting to look a little more appealing...

What happens when a dying nerdy girl becomes the obsession of a cursed vampire? Ivy Smith has always been the quiet girl with oversized glasses, baggy sweaters, and a stack of books in her arms. But behind the laughter and sarcasm, she’s dying. Nineteen years old, running out of time, and still a virgin. All she wants is one taste of love before death takes her away. Her plan was simple—lose her virginity to Jaxon, the hottest guy in school. But then she saw him. Dante Gomez. Her best friend’s father. Her professor. The man who should have been completely off-limits. The man who kissed her once and ruined everything. Because Dante isn’t just any man. He’s a vampire, cursed with immortality and desperate to be human again. One reckless kiss transfers his Crimson Stone into Ivy’s body—he can only take it back if she dies. Now, they’re bound together by hunger, secrets, and a dangerous desire that could destroy them both. He wants his stone. She wants his touch. Will Ivy give her heart to the boy she always dreamed of… or surrender her soul to the forbidden man who craves her?

This isn't you're regular Alpha finds his Luna werewolf story, there's elemental powers, Vikings, royal bloodlines, secrets, prophecies, A touch of romance and who doesn't love a bit of drama. This story is for mature audience. Troy has been searching for his Mate for three years when his father tells him he is to be Mated to form a union between two packs in order to fight an army headed their way. What he doesn't know yet is the arranged Mating was planned well before he was born. When Octavia steps out of her purple Camaro, he wasn't expecting to see the most beautiful creature on earth. Octavia is the first of her kind, born of two Royal bloodlines causing her to possess immense power that she struggles to control. Will Troy be able to save Octavia from herself or will her powers consume her and destroy them all? stay tuned to see what the prophecy has instore for Troy and Octavia. --- He smiles at me "Like what you see princess?" Realizing I've been caught checking him out, I use my typical witty sarcasm that usually gets me out of awkward situations or in trouble, "That depends, did you like what you saw when I got out of my car?" I say with a wink.

In Black Salt, love is a sickness you can’t hide—a slow gnawing beneath the skin that leaves you hollowed, grayed, and eventually gone. No one stays long enough to see it through; they leave before the rot finishes its work. It’s what the town teaches you: when it starts, you run. You look away. You survive by pretending not to feel. But Atlas is tired of pretending. The halls of Black Salt High are full of kids pretending they don’t see each other’s bruised hearts, pretending their bones aren’t already whispering warnings. Still, he can’t forget the weight of a father who stayed—not out of love, but because he never felt it deep enough to decay. That truth lingers in Atlas like a second shadow. And then there’s Nova—the outsider with a storm in her bones. And Wren, all sharpness and fight. Milo, who cracks jokes to keep the silence at bay. Luce, who wears her thorns like jewelry. Together, they don’t know how to stop the rot. But they’re learning how to sit with it, how to name it, how to refuse the small, hollow deaths of pretending not to care. In a town where love is a death sentence, staying might be the bravest thing of all.

He smirked, knowing he was on the winning side. "So it's a done deal for three months?" He raised his eyebrows, putting his hand forth for a handshake. I looked at the long fingers and perfectly aligned nails and then at his patient face. Sighing to myself I my own hand into his and ignored the tingles that flowed through every nerve as his fingers curled around my hand and shook it lightly. "Yeah three months." "Goodnight then." He winked, removing his hand from mine and turned to walk away. "Hey wait!" I called out, suddenly remembering something. "You don't have my number." "What makes you think that? I have my ways Smith." And with one last wink I saw him take a turn and disappear from my sight. I let out a long breath, leaning on the nearby wall. Looks like I just made a deal with the Devil. * A sarcastic girl, a cocky guy. Throw in some mystery, murder, filthy jokes, wonderful friends, tons of kisses, secrets, surprises, eye-rolls and a killer on run. And you have got yourself a story never read before. ***So grab a cup of hot chocolate, some chips and a warm blanket and get ready to laugh, cry and bite your lip in anticipation. Enjoy!!

At dinner, Tiffany White grabs my fiance's phone and spends 100 thousand dollars on a designer bag. She even sticks her tongue at me. "Come on, Meredith. You're loaded. You won't mind such a small amount, right? Shawn and I share everything. His money is my money," she says. Everyone at the table waits for me to lose my temper or smile and let it slide like a saint. Instead, I calmly take out a voice recorder and my laptop from my bag and adjust my gold-rimmed glasses. "100 thousand meets the threshold for criminal filing. Since you said you two share everything, I have to ask—is this embezzlement or an illegal transfer tied to an improper personal relationship? "Oh, and what you just said about 'his money is my money'? I recorded that. According to the supplemental clauses in our prenup and the company bylaws, I'm officially initiating an asset-freezing order against Shawn Harrison." I turn to Tiffany. "Enjoy your free meals in prison, Ms. White." Shawn is livid. "It was just a joke, Meredith. Is it really necessary to ruin me over this?" I hit the "enter" key. "Sorry. In my book, there are no jokes—only bad debt."

Everybody is different. May it be with the way you look, your sexual orientation or your beliefs and culture. Tori Kingstein has always thought of herself as someone who’s different. She never liked boys. Yes, she's gay. Tori then was sent to her mum’s old school, an all-girls boarding school in hopes of her not getting herself a boyfriend at a young age. But jokes on her parents, cause she actually swings the other way around. And little did she know that entering Whistler High School for Girls would put her on a mission with other girls, like her who aren’t white, to end the discrimination, inequality, too much use of white privileges and the use of wealth and power to stay on top by some students, especially by the school's student council officers. After knowing this, Tori is set on finishing her mum's past role in this group—and that is to destroy the unfair treatment of the school and the student council to students who what they call “aren’t white and as rich as them”, but Tori has a secret. It’s just that... She might have a tiny bit of crush on the student council's president who's no other than Amelia Harriet Williams. What could go wrong, right?