Smartass Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

I snort. What a cliché quote some or other happy drunk motivational speaker concocted when he was at a loss for words. It must be the same asshole who suggested grabbing life by the horns, that winners never quit, and that everything happens for a reason. “Well, keep on dreaming, girl.” Cause that dream is not gonna happen. Luckily, that’s Axel’s shit. Not mine. I fake a smile, “Cheers!” and throw the alcohol down my throat before I bite into a piece of lemon. The sour taste causes goosebumps on my skin.

"I think you're trying to get me upset just to drift away from the subject.'' Shit. Why did she have to be fucking smart? I groaned inwardly. I couldn't suppress the smile that crept up my face despite the shrug. "See?" she pointed to my face, giggling. "See?" I giggled also, touching my index finger to the tip of her perfectly sculptured nose. "Why do you've to be such a smart ass?" "Sure I'm smart. But I ain't an ass. You didn't have to put ass?" "I made a statement of about..." I did a count mentally. "eight words. And all you had to pick was ass "

I said sassly and was not able t o control m y laughter. I satred laughing loudly while clutching m y stomach. I was s o busy in m y laughing session that I didn't realise when h e pour all m y mango shake over m e . My mouth hung open a t his ridiculous act, and I started looking a t him with my widen eyes. "And no one messes with The Laksh Malhotra. Got i t ?." He said in a n equal sassiness and smirked a t me. "Laksh Malhotra you are s o gone." I murmed t o my self and without saying anything I went away from him towars the jet kitchen.

Ava's POV I crouched down, picking up the same card that greeted me every day on the terrace. Today's cringe-worthy quote read: "Have enough courage to trust love one more time." I laughed out loud, shaking my head. "God, you're getting sappier every day," I said, dialing the ingenious person behind this. Coming down the stairs. "Well, I wouldn't have to if you gave me a chance," Abhi answered, his voice carrying that familiar mix of teasing and sincerity. "It's been years, Ava. Even my stash of quotes is running dry."

I let out a sarcastic smile, “have fun inhaling carbon dioxide there.” With that, they burst out laughing. “We really need to think ways to put some humor inside your brain!” Ave exclaimed, still laughing. I pursed my lips. “I don’t need that.” “As expected from you,” Rebel chuckled. I roll my eyes heavenwards. I don’t need some humor. A bitter smile placed against my lips. I only need someone who’ll save me from this hell. “How about this?” “Your showing too much skin.” “This one?” “Too short.”

In a more practical term, they could relate with Queenie about not wanting to use them. The eighth item elicited a round of laughter in the chat, as well as protests when it was revealed. “How could anyone not like anal?” Queenie read out a very bold super chat comment about her revelation. “Well, how could anyone not like a pain in the ass boss? It’s the same reason. I’m not putting anything up my shit hole. Why use that when I have a perfectly good fuck hole?”

I traced a constellation with a glint in my eyes, “It’s my motto, maybe you should make it yours too” I tilted my head to give him a genuine smile. I saw his wheels turning in his head for a while through his green orbs, then he broke into small chuckles, shaking his head. I blinked my eyes as to why he was laughing. We were talking serious things right before he began chortling. Did I say something funny? “Why’re you laughing?” I asked. He silenced his chuckles to look at me biting his lips preventing any more. “No wonder you were called the ‘Quote Schmuck’” he quoted.