Smartass Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

“I like it better when you’re focused on a woman’s ass.” “I do too. Santana has a nice one, it’s not as big as I like them, but it’s nice.” A small smile cracks my lips as my anger dissipates; he is so ridiculous. “Q, please shut up!” “I’m just saying.” We all start laughing, and I relax some more. “Let’s go for that jog you did a rain check on this morning.” “Yeah, I could use a good run,” Quentin adds. I think about it for a second. It would be good to get out of the house and get away from that asshole and get some fresh air.

Martha, my best friend, and colleague asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. "It's just one arrogant fool who thinks he's better than everyone else ‘cause he's rich.' He said I talk too much. Can you believe that?" "Well...I think he is right." "So you're on his side." I sulked then Martha laughed aloud. "What's so funny?" I asked "Oh Cass, you're such a baby. I was just pulling your leg. I just love it when you make that face." She continued laughing at me. "You better get back to work before Mrs. Smith sees you lazing around."

"Hey bro, don't tell me your big ass man is crying." "I am going to give your big ass man a slap for just saying that. How are you doing Matty?" "Bro, before I even begin, how is it down there?" "Loving it, every moment, just enjoying it." "Ya, it is only your sick ass that would say war is fun." I only but burst out in laughter to what is possibly very much the truth, but the real truth, "We are here to make a difference, that is all that counts. And you might as well enjoy doing it while you can."

some dumb idiots laughed at his lame joke. " Okay that's just lame" Amaya said out loud. I looked at her ,"what?" She asked me. I shook my head with a small smile. "Watch your mouth Clayton" he said in annoyance, Amaya turned around to face their table " watch your dignity Ashford your garage is open" she said the whole cafeteria 'oohed' , he zipped his jeans up and smirked.

We made him so confused. What now?! What's so funny? Laugh bitches laugh... Fuck you all! " What's so funny?" I couldn't help but ask, " Sir." I added " I mean turn around and let me see the gears on your legs and arms... Not remove them, then put them back." Marc explained while laughing Oh! the fuck wrong with me? I am sure I'm not smoking shit then why this much clouds in my mind. " Take some chocolate Luca... It will help your mind to work."

The people who looked at his contagious laugh also began to smile. ~Hahahah "Oh, my god! Hilarious… that was freaking hilarious. ~Huff ~Huff… "my sides hurt so much... I might just die!" ~Tch "Stop laughing!" Kiara spewed slurs, "What the hell is so funny you fucking cockalorum?" ~Hahahaha "Just look at your face." Akash kept laughing at her face, "I never thought I'd see this day in my life. The first time you asked someone out and got shot down like a tool… you must be so embarrassed… Hahaha!"

“Making the best of an unpleasant situation. Jessie, you can be a miracle worker. Go on. Put your two cents' worth in. Then turn it into a dollar.” “You need to work on your motivational quotes.” Jessie hugged Hannah and went on her way to meet up with Alrick. * * * Ashley looked in shock at the half-dressed man crowding her in the passenger. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re crazy. Back off. You’re too close.”

I texted my friend Cassie to see how she is settling into her new home and let her know I was home and she called with family drama and I had to distract her by talking about your sexy ass! I know I am teasing him, but I can’t help it. Aldo: My ass is Sexy? I know yours is, but…yeah, your Abulita is gonna skin me alive so I’ll shut up now. Me: You are a glutton for punishment. You keep saying my Abulita will skin you alive but then you also keep going there…LMAO. Aldo: Yeah, that is probably true, but you are worth it, Babe. G-night! (kissy emoji)

“For once, you might be right.” Cassar’s eyes were wide as he started barking out orders to his pack. Cass scooped me into his arms as he started running through he territory. “Well, I’m getting a sense of déjà vu.” I grimaced. Cassar growled. “This isn’t the time for jokes.” “Actually, my coping mechanism is through humour.” I chuckled with a wheeze. “Humour and murder.” Cassar glared as he ran faster. “Oh you’re just mad because if I die, you die.”