Smartass Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

When my phone vibrated, I fished it out of my pocket and saw a reply from Jaguar. From: Mr Ass What the heck u saying I threw my head back at his response. My fingers tapped aggressively on the screen as I replied. To: Mr Ass I'm joining the chaotic mix I need a place to stay Let me sleep on you *your place Lmao From: Mr Ass Stfu

"Hey bro, don't tell me your big ass man is crying." "I am going to give your big ass man a slap for just saying that. How are you doing Matty?" "Bro, before I even begin, how is it down there?" "Loving it, every moment, just enjoying it." "Ya, it is only your sick ass that would say war is fun." I only but burst out in laughter to what is possibly very much the truth, but the real truth, "We are here to make a difference, that is all that counts. And you might as well enjoy doing it while you can."

some dumb idiots laughed at his lame joke. " Okay that's just lame" Amaya said out loud. I looked at her ,"what?" She asked me. I shook my head with a small smile. "Watch your mouth Clayton" he said in annoyance, Amaya turned around to face their table " watch your dignity Ashford your garage is open" she said the whole cafeteria 'oohed' , he zipped his jeans up and smirked.

The people who looked at his contagious laugh also began to smile. ~Hahahah "Oh, my god! Hilarious… that was freaking hilarious. ~Huff ~Huff… "my sides hurt so much... I might just die!" ~Tch "Stop laughing!" Kiara spewed slurs, "What the hell is so funny you fucking cockalorum?" ~Hahahaha "Just look at your face." Akash kept laughing at her face, "I never thought I'd see this day in my life. The first time you asked someone out and got shot down like a tool… you must be so embarrassed… Hahaha!"

"That's my boy." "Oh, he just farted, for Pete's sake," Amos said. Then he took a sip of his coffee, made a face, and spit it back into the cup. Chase and Lauren stared at Amos until he looked at them. "What? It's true.It's a fart thing baby's do. They feel good after they fart, so they smile. If he takes after his daddy, he'll be smilin plenty," Amos chortled. Chase took his mug out of his hand and said, "How would you know, old man? You ever

” Allan ~”You are going to wish you were dead when I get loose here. Aaron ~”What you going to do? Sit on me?” Allan ~”I know MMA.” Aaron ~”I find that hard to believe, even fucking hilarious.” Devan ~”I don't think you can even smack your own ass.” Matson ~”You too damn fat to reach it.” Aaron ~”I am sure there is some other things this sick fuck can't reach.” Summer ~”I say you should give him some better access to it.” I nearly fall damn over, this is not the same Summer I know.

"Well, that was an interesting morning." -------------------------------------------------------------- A/N Hey guysss Since there was no joke in the beginning let's do one now! Some people cause happiness wherever they go... Others cause happiness whenever they go. Ok maybe that one wasn't that good haha Anyways HAVE A FLIPPIN GREAT DAY MWAH :)))

Note the sarcasm tone in that. “Did you lose in a bet?” Maisie asked me. “Don’t talk to me,” I huffed as I placed the damn paper bags on the floor. She chuckled in response. “Someone made Amber mad!” “Oh! I bet I know who it was!” “Omg! Spill the tea!” I roll my eyes and sat on my chair. Can I find another friend? I want to change these dummies. They’re not useful. “Worth,” I called the man who was smirking at me. “Can you give these to your asshole Captain?”

Entitled Asshole: And you won’t have the energy to go clubbing after it. Hating how I can’t prevent my smile from growing automatically at this, I type an answer hastily. Amber: First come, first serve. Mr. Entitled Asshole: We will see about that. But I’m betting that you will be the one to come first. My gasp is followed by laughter as I actually love this answer. Biting my bottom lip, I try to take another step towards him and dial his number. He picks up the call nearly immediately, taking me by surprise.

"You are? 'Cause my ass feels kind of sore..." She chuckled. "I am. And sorry about your ass!" She scrunched up her noise at the word 'ass'. He laughed, loud and smooth, it unnerved her. She wasn't even funny. "Ass," he drawled, tasting the word on his tongue. "Why does it sound funny when you say it?" "Because it's a funny part of the body." Turning to look out the window, inorder to hide her grin. Why were they talking about ass?