Smartass Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

my sarcasm was sharp. ***

The front doors swooshed open and were slammed shut, followed by loud thuds which were supposed to be footsteps, coming closer towards the dining room. "There's the missing child." Smartass began and spoke like a, well, smart ass. How is my intuition always right? What am I saying? I'm smart as fuck. That's why. Stop lying to yourself babes. You like to think you're smart. You're street smart. But you're a complete dumbass. Don't get it twisted. I hate my mind.

Just a joke. “Whoever she gets married someday, she’s very lucky, because I can feel right away how it hit argh omg Marfy me Engineer!” One comment said that I laughed too much. The comments on Trace’s post here on I*******m are stupid and funny. It’s bad because he’s also famous here on I*******m and there are always people who like him. Then he just steals me a kiss. Oops HAHAHHA.

"If this is a joke, I'll be bummed out. I like your name." “I don’t just screw with guys the first moment I see them.” Sassy. Yes. "Especially after they spill hot coffee all over my shoulder and try to give me third-degree burns. I'm not a masochist, ya know?” “Well, that’s good to know.” His bemused face was on the edge of giving us away as we silently whispered back and forth. "It's a pleasure to know that you don't derive pleasure from pain." “Why is that?” I bit my lip slowly and evasively. "Why is it such a pleasure?"

I am so freaking addicted and I don't want to quit’ I laughed. ‘You suck at taking selfies by the way.’ ‘What's wrong with them? I was trying to look cute for my wife, also I think I did pretty good for a first-timer’ he replied and I laughed. ’I don't think you and cute should be in a sentence’ He sent a laughing emoji. ’Are you trying to say I am ugly, Celine Belshar Nessar Abed’ God, he was impossible. ’Are you trying to fish for compliments, Belshar Nessar Abed’

The air was filled with their laughter as they retold splendidly outrageous and laugh inducing anecdotes. Sara launched the story, but with a dash of sweetness in her voice. “Austin presented me with a cup of coffee only for it to trip and spill all over my notes as if I am its clumsy oaf.” Austin interjected, he was doubtlessly sarcastic. “Of course no one could believe that Sara was reliable enough to observe a cup of coffee coming around.” Sara dodged with a smile that would not disappear from her face. “I don’t belittle your lack of intelligence; such is the case with some of the people.”

Maybe I could start over, rebuild, and find happiness again. But for now, I would take it one step at a time. As we finished our tea, the conversation shifted to lighter topics—movies, books, and Sophie’s latest escapades at work. She was a natural storyteller, weaving tales that had me laughing until my sides hurt. “I swear, Lila, my boss has this ridiculous obsession with motivational quotes. Today, he walked into the office and said, ‘Dreams don’t work unless you do.’ And I’m like, sir, can I dream of a raise while working myself to the bone?” Sophie rolled her eyes dramatically, making me giggle.

“It’s never early for anything as long as you want it.” “Nice quote. Where did you hear it from?” Asher asked me as he took a sip from the cup in his hands. “Would you believe me if I told you that I just made it up on the spot?” Asher stared at me for a few seconds before bursting into laughter, and I joined in, following suit. “That’s impressive.” “Thank you,” I replied, raising my glass towards him before taking a look around the place. “You look like you’ve got something you want to say, Lorenzo.”

When my phone vibrated, I fished it out of my pocket and saw a reply from Jaguar. From: Mr Ass What the heck u saying I threw my head back at his response. My fingers tapped aggressively on the screen as I replied. To: Mr Ass I'm joining the chaotic mix I need a place to stay Let me sleep on you *your place Lmao From: Mr Ass Stfu