Ugly Jokes Novels & Stories

She hissed, “we need to leave immediately!” “Alright, alright.” I patted her arm. “I’ll just get the eggplants.” I turned and beamed widely at the worried girl. “Have you seen a brinjal this big and shiny?! It’s like—.” “A cock soaked in cum,” someone said. What...? My face feel deadpanned as it swivelled up to voice. An elderly man in Einstein’s age and appearance was bellowing in laughter at his own dirty joke, his round belly shaking uncontrollably.

Don't you think you're a joke? "That's right! You keep on trying to make yourselves look good. You talk about yourselves as if you're the strongest in the world. It's an absolute joke. Don't you feel embarrassed saying all of that? If you really have such strong opinions, then go try and change the rules. We're not the ones who set the world. We're not interested in trying to pass with all of you either?! Do you think we're happy having to look at your ugly faces?"

my sister said “I would, but your face would scare everyone away because of how ugly you are” I teased her as I stuck out my tongue to her. Our parents just sat there laughing. “Well jokes on you, we look alike so you are basically calling yourself ugly” she fired back. I was about to reply her when I heard Serena’s car honk outside.

For example, it is not funny that I woke up in a strange bed with a strange man thinking we had done strange things while I was unconscious from too much drink--and yet he was laughing hysterically just a few moments before. Similarly, it is not funny that I cannot fit into his trousers with the roundness of my hips being as they are. I did not ask to borrow them, and yet here I am, awkward and uncomfortable. Thankfully, his guild friend, a sweet girl named Julie, had a few pairs that were able to work. And it's good that we found those because his last joke is the least funny of all. "A boy," I bark indignantly. "You have got to be joking."

I laughed so hard that I couldn't contain my cackles and snorts which made her face turn an ugly shade of red that doesn't look good on her. "What the fuck are you laughing at bitch?" she growled turning another shade uglier and lemme just say ewwwww as I laughed harder. "Nothing much really, just the fact you're so dumb and stupid. First I'm not a bitch but guess who is? You! Your tasty ass is the biggest bitch I've even met. So thumbs up on that award. And second you think my mates will take a glance at your broomstick physique or your ugly ass face and by the way as girl to girl, red is very very ugly color on you maybe you should try green. I believe it will suit you better." I said wit

“Grandma Vivi and Grandma Lyddie said you were fixing your hair, but it doesn’t even look that different.” Julian bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing, leaning casually against the doorframe. “That’s because your mommy’s hair looks perfect all the time, sweetheart.” Elara shot him a look so sharp he nearly choked on his own amusement. “Julian.” “What?” he asked innocently, straightening up and reaching to smooth a stray curl behind her ear. “I’m just appreciating honesty.” Mira squinted between them, unimpressed. “You’re weird.”

I waved my hand impatiently. Seeing how casually I spoke, Keven had no choice but to go along with it. I thought I was mentally prepared for it. But when I saw my reflection on my phone, I burst into tears. I buried my face in the blanket and cried uncontrollably. Kevin was at a loss, not knowing how to comfort me. From the blanket, I asked unhappily, "Have I turned ugly and horrifying now?" Kevin replied, "No way! You're the prettiest woman in Dainsclef Village."

The room went dead quiet when I said I would take the prize, but that quiet did not last. A second later, laughter thundered through the air. Lily Smith was the loudest, doubling over with tears streaming from her eyes. "How else could she be the top seller?" she cackled. "A woman like her has to have skin as thick as a rhino." I ignored her snide comments and kept my cool. "Just to be clear," I said, "since the company so generously 'rewarded' me with bathroom duty, that's all I'll be doing for the next three days. Everything else is off my plate."

" Ian frowned at the question. Ian (8:15 pm) : What kind stupid question are you asking? Irritating Twat (8:16 pm) : Don't know the answer? Ian (8:16 pm): No. Irritating Twat (8:17 pm) : Because it is made out of cells! Haha! Ian gaped at the message for a long time before a small laugh escaped his mouth. The joke was really lame but it was funny.

I'd do anything to have a new look. "Surgery is always an option." "That's insulting, and surgery can't fix this," I pointed at my rotten ugly face "if it was disfigured and all maybe it might but my face looks normal but it's just, I have no black heads, no pimples, nothing but still my face is as ugly as it can get, I can't get any uglier, some even find my face irritating." I stated the facts. "You're not that ugly-" "Yes she is, in fact I've never seen anything as ugly as her in my life and I've seen a lot of ugly people." The food stall guy uttered abruptly interrupting Melody.