Ugly Jokes Novels & Stories

I'd do anything to have a new look. "Surgery is always an option." "That's insulting, and surgery can't fix this," I pointed at my rotten ugly face "if it was disfigured and all maybe it might but my face looks normal but it's just, I have no black heads, no pimples, nothing but still my face is as ugly as it can get, I can't get any uglier, some even find my face irritating." I stated the facts. "You're not that ugly-" "Yes she is, in fact I've never seen anything as ugly as her in my life and I've seen a lot of ugly people." The food stall guy uttered abruptly interrupting Melody.

I asked, getting irritated by their insipid jokes. “What slave girl are you talking about? The one who appears to be the group leader said. “Have you been smoking weed” another asked. “You look like you need help” the skinny one added. “Stop it!” I screamed at the four of them, I was getting frustrated with their stupid pranks. Are they trying to drive me nuts, what was with all the clownish attitude?

They won’t be able to recognize me easy. “Wanna have fun?” I asked with a smirk and eyes burning with fun. “Sh*t! You’re too ugly. Have fun with your d*rty *ass!” They all laughed but it didn’t piss me off. It’s making me smile even more and come to them closely. They look like disgusted by me with hints of confusion on their faces. “That’s fresh blood!” One of them commented. “You know what? I want more,” I said starting to laugh making them all silent. After a satisfying laugh, I swung my hand with the baseball bat again. “DIE!”

He doesn't seemed used to being told that he's ugly, maybe because all of the people praising him so much to the point that he'd been an arrogant jerk, tsk! I'll always remember that the easiest way to pissed an arrogant man, is to insult his so-called handsome face. ***

“Godammit woman! I’m telling you it’s ugly..” I roll my eyes,”Bro, I believe the word you’re looking for is messy or I don’t know, maybe untidy..” I say, “ugly seems a bit too off don’t you think?” His face turns red from embarrassment. “I mean seriously, if you wanted to make an excuse, atleast make a good one..” I spoke as if I make excuses any better when I obviously know I suck at it. “I me-” “You might as well tell me the truth you know..”

“Uhm, my car is this way. It’s pretty small, sorry. I don’t usually drive lumberjacks around, so I got a compact.” I laughed warmly. “So that’s all I am to you, huh? A lumberjack?” “I guess you would be more of a timber wolf?” she said, tapping her chin with the tip of her finger. “And you say I tell bad dad jokes?” I asked incredulously. “That one blows Fur Sure Solutions right out of the water.” Marley giggled. “What? I thought it was clever.” “The joke, much like you, was very clever,” I said indulgently. “But it was also very bad.”

That's impossible. Impossible, because I don't have an attorney to seduce, and besides, with this face? I can seduce someone? That's impossible. I'm ugly, only a crazy person would go for me. But in fairness, my friend is really good at making jokes. He lightens up the atmosphere. For a moment, I forgot about my problems because of his joke. "I am not joking, Marra if that's you think." I stopped laughing when I heard his serious tone. But eventually, I laughed again before facing his behavior.

Worse, I have a bad habit of laughing out loud,literally. I don't laugh classically , I laugh loud enough to make another person laugh, Daniel told me one, my laughter is very contagious. Daniel heard me and laughed a little too,but seeing the boss' cold stare ,we had to swallow every amusement piling up inside of us. "My apologies boss"I said immediately. "You are as ugly as your laugh" The boss replied,wow that one hit me,a thunderous laughter from others buried me,I don't think I will ever laugh again. "Don't let it get to you"

Did this soggy-faced lady just called me ugly? “ Would have said same for you, but I guess you already see it in the mirror everyday.” “ Let me be, Jason!” since he couldn't get to make me stop talking, he resorted to pleading with her to stop responding to my childish statements. “ Yes! You are ugly! Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone!” “ Can you all stop it already? I'm too tired to advise two grown women to quit exchanging words and focus more on finding my child.”

It was still there, but lighter. “Yeah, pushy, that’s her,” he agreed. “My type? Girls who laugh at my jokes. Even the bad ones. And don’t mind if I suck at dancing.” “Your jokes? All bad, man,” I teased. I stretched my leg out and shoved his swing with my foot. It twisted to the side and he yelped. “Hey! Not all,” he shouted, trying to shove me back with his own foot. “Remember that one about Jax and the pizza? Gold.”