Why Do I Hate Repeating Myself Novels & Stories

I mean, I was probably inside this chamber for just five minutes but it felt like the time extended to more than an hour. "What do you hate about yourself?" I blinked a few times because of that question. My mind went blank for a couple of seconds before I got the words to answer. "I hate myself for valuing the rankings, that I end up killing myself from pressure just to get on the top. I hate myself for always wanting what's grand and end up ignoring those little things that actually are more vital." A bitter smile spread on my lips. "I hate myself for following the stiff standards of society and for always thinking that everything is alright ... Leading myself to have a hard time accepting

Don't let people in and when you do, you push them out again. I cry so loudly. It's right. Why? Do I always dothat? I fucking hate myself. I bang my head hard on the door behind me. I feel dizzy afterwards. But I the emotions so foreign yet so common are too much. I do it again. "Stop." I say to myself. "Why are you doing this?" "Please just stop." Everytime I treat myself unfairly I feel relieved in a way, but then I feel sick. I don't want to do this.

Finally the voices start to fade away. Dr Ann said it was all in my imagination that people don’t actually despise me. That they had their own problems to worry about and “wouldn’t waste so much of their thoughts on you” but I was right. I was right all along. Everyone hates me….everyone hates me….everyone hates me…everyone hates me…everyone hates me… everyone hates me… everyone hates me… everyone hates me.

I was always struggling with one thing or the other but this one was too much. I was already filled with hope that this was going to be the last this kind of thing would happen but I stead it kept getting worse. I hated the fact that I was being proved wrong over and over again. I seemed to hate myself at the moment because i had t even gone to speak with her, to talk to her, to tell her how much I missed her and all of that.

It shouldn't change any thing if she hates me right? I mean, I've seen tons of human display their hatred against me. Why then does her own hatred towards me matters? Why am I over reacting towards it? Its okay for people to hate me, why then is it not okay for her to hate me too? The only person I never wished for to hate me was Amelia and she's no more. "I just want this to stop as soon as possible, I hate holding my self guilty." I yelled out in frustration as I banged my fist on the table before me. "I hate this foreign feeling."

“Well, Mrs Sylvester, the b-board m-m….” “Do I look like a scarecrow?” I asked her, cutting her off.” “I'm sorry, what?” She asked as we both entered the elevator. “You heard me; I'm sure you know I hate repeating myself.” “No, you don't.” “Then, explain why you're stuttering,” I told her. “W-well I-I” “What are the two things I hate, Susie?” I asked her. “You hate repeating yourself and people that stutter.” She said.

"I hate that I hurt you. I hate that I fit this pattern. I hate all of it." "Hating yourself doesn't change anything" Bella said. "It just makes you feel better about being terrible. Like self awareness is the same as growth. But it's not. You can understand your pattern and still repeat it. You probably will repeat it." "I won't" I said. "I swear I won't."

I didn’t even bother to look at the driver to see if he was looking at me or not. I simply wanted to get home. “I hate you,” I muttered again. I repeated it several times in my mind, hoping that it was true, but each time I said it, my heart kept rebelling, and my shoulders sagged in painful defeat. Why couldn’t I hate Chase Maddox?

The urge to just close my mouth and sleep here in this comfortable bed was right there, but I reeled it in. This needs to be addressed and I won’t get better unless I talk about it. “I don’t know,” I repeat, “All I know is I hate myself. For allowing it to happen. For leaving them. For relying on someone else to help them. For not doing enough. For only thinking of myself. I hate it. I hate that I allowed it. I hate me.”