Yo Mama So Old Jokes Novels & Stories

“Okay… Well, I’ll stop bugging you. It’s just that, you know your brothers are here, and it would’ve been nice to have all my kids in one place. You know? Before I die.” I roll my eyes. “Even though you’re 79, Mom, I actually think you will outlive all of us.” “Honey, I love you, but the next time you say my age out loud I will come up there and wash your mouth out with soap.” I laugh. “My apologies. Won’t happen again.” “Thank you.” I can hear the humor in her voice. “Just make sure you don’t work too hard. You know, that’s what drove your father into an early grave.”

I asked and she nodded in affirmation. "Aren't you too old for that?" I stuttered and Dad chortled whispering to me, "You are so dead son, why did you say that to her?" Mom's jaw dropped to the floor and her eyebrows shot towards the ceiling, "Mason I can't believe you called me old, you think am old." Mom fretted. "Did you hear that honey, your son said I'm old?" Mom said. "How could you say that to your mom?" Dad chortled.

Even though I've tried to be quiet, they always have a way of bothering me. I also slapped Sonya for no reason. That time, Sonya made fun of Mom, who had been in a coma for years. She used to call me a motherless child. She also said that I was born from a mummy. I was so angry when she made fun of Mom and me.

Mom says, closing the door behind Maggie, and turning towards me with a big smile on her lips. "Well, young man." She says, walking towards me. "So, you and Maggie, huh?" "Yes ma'am." I answer, smiling back at her. "I couldn't help myself." I answer. "So now you've fucked the mother and the daughter." She says, wrinkling her brow as another thought hits her. "Just like at home!" She exclaims. "You are one busy mother fucker." She says, laughing at her own joke, as she pulls me into a tight embrace.

“Why would I change when you’ll never stop trying to earn a joke from every situation?” “Isn’t life more fun with jokes? Something to laugh about once in a while. You know, it makes the world beautiful and fun when it’s dark. Studies even say laughter heals faster than herbs do. Lowers pain, strengthens the heart, clears the head. Makes the blood flow freer. In short — that’s why I’m looking younger and living longer. Which of those old people in the pack is as old as me, uh? None. I’m the oldest.”

"You're scruffy!" "Oh," I said, a sense of relief flowing through me. "Sorry." "I used to tell you all the time honey, girls are soft, and we don't like scratchy skin." "I know, I remember." I nodded, thinking damn straight she was soft. "Yeah, those whiskers can hurt our lips." She winked "Even the ones on our mouth." "W...what did you just say?" Mom stared at me for a moment with her big blue eyes and laughed; "It was a joke; don't tell me they don't tell raunchy jokes over at the frat house!"

00Melinda felt lonely. She looked at the nanny who was wiping the table and said, "Why are you a nanny? I think you must be at grandma's age." 00Aunt Ji said, "Two sons, the eldest had a child at the age of a year-end. They became grandmas." 00"Where's your youngest son?" The Old Madam asked again. 00"The youngest son is not married yet," Aunt Ji replied. 00Old Madam answered with the same question as Aunt Ji. She did not say anything else and the Old Madam felt bored after saying a few things. She sighed slightly and turned the wheelchair back into the room.

Mama spoke out, unmoved by the weapon, “So, you going to kill my brother at his daughter’s wedding? Why, because you’re not wanted, Joe? Anyway, I thought you stopped using guns ever since you shot your trigger finger off. What type of nonsense you got dancing around in your head now, Joe? Are you trying to blow off your entire hand nowadays?” We laughed uneasily at Mama’s continued humor. Smitty changed positions, now pointing the gun toward Mama, “Look here bitch don’t act like you ain’t ever had no pistol put to face.”

I said, "I guess so. He's usually so serious, it just looks weird seeing him laugh this hard." I said, "I'm going to get ready for school, mom. His wolf is full of dad jokes. I really don't want to hear them right now." Mom laughed and said, "Your wolf is like Yara. She can talk to other wolves?" I said, "Yeah, so is his. It's weird seeing him laugh like this. I'm getting out of here." Mom laughed and said, "Okay honey. We'll see you in the living room."

}} [[ haha ]] (( Explain )) {{ it’s nothing mother, she just kind of hit on me a little }} (( that tramp! I’m sure she’s old enough to be your mom )) {{ no worries, she got no where and never will }} (( Good because I still do know how to slit throats and shoot arrows sonny boy )) {{ yes mother }}