You're So Old Jokes Novels & Stories

It felt good—light, like a breath of fresh air in this park where the wind rustled the leaves around us. We sat on the bench after that, side by side, our shoulders almost touching. He started telling these silly jokes—the kind that weren’t even funny, just dry and ridiculous, like “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.” Corny as hell. But I laughed anyway, hard and genuine, because the real joke was how bad they were, how he delivered them with that straight face like he thought they were gold. It warmed me up inside, chasing away the chill for a bit.

He shot the question at her "If you continue this way there's every possibility you will age faster than you should" Jess teased him. "And if you continue staring and me like that you wouldn't have a job by the end of today" he sat properly and placed his hands on the table. She laughed at what he said, she was sure his mood was better. She knew he doesn't liked to be teased about looking old, she laughs anytime he says it. Who isn't going to grow old? "Who is it this time?" She paused

I furrowed my brows in confusion and glanced at the door to be sure that I wasn’t at the wrong building. “Is this one of your trick?” I frowned and she started laughing too. “It’s not funny,I need your help.” “Since when did you stop enjoying my jokes. You used to love them!” “Since now! I just said I needed your help!” I shot out and he snickered. “Okay okay! How much do you have? You know my services now come with a f*e,” she winked at me and I hissed. “You disgusting old man!” He transformed back to himself, just like I know him to be,a very old man of almost eighty years with grey beards.

"Hey, old man! You finally miss me, huh?" "Who are you calling an old man? I am stronger than you and can even win you in the fight, hmph." Old master Mo shouted on the phone. A laugh was heard from other side of the phone. "Hahaha… you really know how to joke huh, old man? Only my granny would fall for your joke." "Of course, because my wife is the best unlike you, punk." Old Master Mo shouted in the phone. "Yeah, yeah, you only have your wife in your eyes. We all are irrelevant. Anyway, why did you call me? Could it be that you really missed me?"

I laughed. "But the good kind of weird, right?" he grinned. "Is there even a good kind?" I asked back. "Well, now you've stumbled on one," he said, raising his chin. What a smartass. "You can stop standing there now, just take a seat," I said and he graciously sat himself down. "So how old are you?" "Is that even an appropriate question to ask a lady?" I joked. "Well, you know girl's these days lie a lot about their age, and you look like...what? 17?"

He said it in a childish tone. "Oh really, but I though your name was Caleb." Jazz replied playing along. "Oh no, I am not Caleb. He disturbs people who want to be left alone but ME, I am Mr. Laughter people enjoy my company." "Oh really?" "Yes." He said it continuing the same innocent tone in his voice. "Shall I tell you a joke?" "Please go on." "Once there was an old man who died at a very young age hahaha..." He ended his short joke with his own laughter

Bright and early the next day, I showed up at the office as usual. I ignored the whispers and stares, and made a beeline for my desk to start clearing it out. That was when Lily waltzed over, oozing fake sympathy. "Janice, can't you take a joke? "Come on, it was just a little toilet cleaning. Why'd you have to go and tell Mr. Hoffman you're quitting? No need to blow things out of proportion. "Look, I'll even dip into my own wallet and toss you a little extra cash to make up for it.

"Plus, I'm not the only one who's here." The old man furrowed his eyebrows. "I don't get it. I can see only you standing before me. Or are you a spirit now?" Draya chuckled. "Oh Adam, what's the polite way of saying 'fuck you' to an old man?" Adam pretended to think. "I think you'll say 'Adam if you don't mind, go intercourse yourself'". Both burst out laughing at the corny joke. Oh the old man had a wonderful taste of humor. "I really missed you Adam. But on the bright side, I came with..."

I smiled. "Huh? What does that mean?" I pouted. 'Jeez, is my joke flop?' "Do you enjoy listening to classical music?" I said it just to get the conversation going. "Isn't it boring?" "Boring?" "Out of curiosity, how old are you?" "Nineteen..." "Your real age, you silly!" I said, giggling. "That's my real age." "But a creature like you can live up to 2000 years old, right?"

Yeah, that was off the table. So why the hell was this old man talking about them now? Like he had some kinda way to bring them into this fight? “When people get old,” I said dryly, “they start rambling about all kinds of crazy shit. Saying things like they actually have the power to make them real.” That should’ve shut him up. But instead? The old man laughed. Loud. A deep, mocking cackle, like I’d just said the dumbest thing in the world. I clenched my jaw. That was a damn insult.