You're So Old Jokes Novels & Stories

We both laughed, knowing that was far from the truth, but I had actually missed our banter. “Was that a limp I just saw? You'll have to get used to it now that you're almost 50.” I said, and she gasped in horror. “I’m only 46! How is it being old and still alone?” She shot back, looking genuinely offended by my age joke.

"Okaa-san is indeed old. Okaa-san's youngest child is already a grandparent." Hey! So, my jokes were returned, eh? Ah, yes she also knows about my son who has a child. But, I also told them that Jeje and his son died from the virus too. But, they know that I was once a grandfather. Ah, maybe until now. But, I won't say that. "Kaa-san is making fun of me, huh?" I whined. Mom laughed, rubbing my head. I'm forty-one years old. What is wrong? Isn't that still young?

– responds Julius. - Sit down and tell me what you want from this poor old man. - Sorry sir, but is it really true that you are 500 years old? - Julius asks. - 500 years? – the elderly man asks, laughing. – Oh goddess, no. I'm not 500 years old. - I thought so. – Julius says, looking at Shane. You probably can’t help me.

Sore loser. "It's because it's a young people thing, for people who are too poor and too interesting to play real golf" I giggle. He turns his head to look at me, his smirk wide across his lips. "Are you calling me boring?" "Perhaps a little, most old men are boring" I smirk back at him as we stop at a traffic light. He shakes his head, his lower lip being taken in between his teeth. "Oh so now that you're 20 you think old people are boring, old people like me have very fun lives" He argues with a cheeky grin. I love playful Rhodes, it's the best side of his personality and it's been out in full force today. Truly a birthday treat.

Dillon asked as he scratched his chin. "Time to get a watch!" He replied jovially. "For fuck's sake! Hahaha! Alright, DAD! If I wanted to hear terrible, milked-to-death, dad jokes-" "You callin' me old, bitch? I'll have you know-" "-I'd have stayed home with the folks! Well since-!" "-Y'know, it's rude to talk about someone's age!-" "-both my homes are already full of old, dusty, tired-" "-Don't insult yer elders, fuckhead!-"

Old lady was still crazy. ***

I teased. "Are you kidding me, I look way older than my age. Also, I can be your great-grandchild's age because you are younger than me right?" He asked as I chuckled softly. "I'm more than a hundred years old," I answered simply. He stopped walking for a second then burst out in laughter. "What?" I asked when I too stopped walking. "You are funny." He answered then bumped his shoulder into mine playfully. What was funny about me telling him the truth? I was more than a hundred years old although the form I was given looked younger.

I am just choosing to ignore it. Joey Aw. Don't be like this. I know you like me. Me Nooo? Who is spreading the false news? Joey Not changed a bit, have we? Me Nope (grinning) Joey Nice for me, Apple pie. Me When will you stop calling me that? I am already grown up. Joey I don't know. Maybe when you die? Me Funny. Joey Hey it is, okay? And you should laugh when someone older than you cracks a joke.

On matriculation day, I carried my acceptance letter to the campus grounds to register alone. But before I could cross the threshold, the guards drove me back into the street with their anti-riot forks. Humiliated and bewildered, I reached for my phone to call my childhood friend, Daisy Reid. A sharp laughter rippled through the receiver. “Violet, are you truly that blind behind those glasses? The letter you swept off the desk was a forgery I mocked up. Your actual one is still sitting at home.” Panicked, I hastily booked a return ticket and hurried back to search for my letter. I scoured the house for hours, turning up nothing. Just then, Daisy’s personalized ringtone sang out from my palm.

Everyone nearly laughed. Felicia rolled her eyes at him. “Old man, what nonsense are you talking about? He looks like you when you’re young? You’re not as good as Harvard when you were young. You just knew how to ask your father for money.” Johnson’s complexion turned red. “Hey, how could you say that? If I was not smart when I was young, would you fall for me?” “Haha! That’s because I was blind?” “Hey, old woman, you’re getting more and more silly as you get older.” The two of them kept arguing.