Your Momma Jokes Novels & Stories

I can’t be too careful. God, I wish she was right less often. It’d make moving away and resenting her phone calls way easier. “Will do,” I say. “How are things back home?” She spits out a few rapid-fire anecdotes. Mom has the craziest ability to strip the humor out of even the funniest stories. I make it through one about a woman that apparently used to coach my soccer team throwing eggs at her husband during a town meeting without cracking a smile. “And you, Benjamin?” she asks.

Mom just stared wide eyed. Shit

Fucking family unity. I didn't work like the stories. Jenn couldn't keep her balance and Dad and I got distracted. Jenn got off and soon after, it was me. "Mom, I'm cumming in your ass." She groaned, "Oh yes, fuck my ass, fill me, baby." Oh, I did. That tight fit and Dad's cock sent me off. I exploded in my mother's butt. Dad moaned, "Oh fuck that's hot. Cummin' baby."

“Momma?” “Come here Bells.” My mom groaned. I quickly found her, blood coming from her gut. There was a dark pool surrounding her, “Momma, you have a boo boo.” My mom chuckled, wincing as she spoke, “I know. I’ll be ok, ok?” “Ok.” Little me agreed. “I need you to play a game with me, ok?” Little me hesitated but went with it. “Ok… What game?” “It’s called, ‘Find A.J. You can play that can’t you?” I nodded frantically, “Yeah! I can’t play that! I like A.J!”

Maybe coffee somewhere else would have been a better idea after all… "Oh, hello ma'am. I am truly flattered.” Korina gave my mom a warm smile. “But I can’t take all the credit! You’re daughter is stunning. I mean, she doesn't even have to try to be beautiful." "Yes, well...” My mother gave me a once-over. “If only she would learn to act feminine, I'd be relieved. Maybe you should give her beauty advice. So she can learn and stop dressing like a thug." “Mom!” I protested immediately, my cheeks heating up from embarrassment.

Ryder accused. “That is not true !” Mom dramatically gasped while putting her hand on her chest to feign the expression of being wrongly accused. “I was not going to show her your childhood’s embarrassing photos,” she continued. “Oh really ? Then what were you going to do ?” Ryder demanded with his tone suggesting that he did not believe her. “I was going to show her your recent embarrassing photos,” Mom answered and I burst out laughing. “You are terrible, Mom,” Ryder mumbled. “You can’t even make jokes,” he sulked.

"I'm sorry, Mom, I didn't realize it was so late." I regret saying that. "Already ar ehere? Look, Daniela ... " "I can't look at you, Mom, just listen to you." I laugh and try to lower my mother's anger and worry. "I hate you doing that!" He also laughs at my joke. Mom has a habit of laughing at any nonsense I might say. Since I was little she celebrates everything. I was not a problem and she applauded her decent daughter. "Oh, Mom, if you could see what I got into."

I hurried downstairs to find her standing over a heap of shattered mirror glass, her face deathly pale. Her appearance was changing right before my eyes. Not only did her skin quickly turn a sallow yellow, but the lines around her mouth deepened, and several spots appeared on her cheeks. In a heartbeat, she looked like she'd aged 15 years. I stifled a laugh. Karma was working overtime. When Mom saw me, her gaze was manic. She lunged at me, gripping my arms and shaking me violently. "Is it you? Are you doing something to me?" I blinked, feigning utter shock. "Mom, what are you talking about? Oh, my God! What happened to your face? All those spots… Are you having an allergic reaction to your s

Mom looks absolutely bewildered while she slumps back in her seat. And this is exactly why I never wanted to tell her. I didn’t want to hurt her. ‘Idiot, we promised not to say anything! Look how much you’ve hurt her!’. ‘She needs to know the truth, Jake!’. To my absolute shock, mom starts to laugh. And not just a small chuckle, her laughter continues to grow in intensity. It doesn’t sound like her usual laughter though. Is this some sort of weird trauma response?

she added furiously. “Oh baby, that worked like a charm every damn time,” Alpha Zoe happily sighed. “But who thought that it was ok to wax me when I was fvcking pregnant and already so sensitive and in pain !!!” I could tell she was glaring at my mom by the tone of her angry voice. “Well you had it coming for making jokes while I was in labour,” Mom snorted. “I had no idea if I should cry because of the pain or because of your stupid knock knock jokes,” she added.