บำเรอรักวิศวะร้าย

“Felix, are you up?”

Felix Reuben turned in the direction of the sound. It was followed by a knock, Felix ignoring it to grab his headphones and put them around his head.

He heard another knock, this time groaning and shutting his laptop in response. He got up from his reading table, grabbed his phone and laid on his bed. Shuffling through the playlists in his songs library, he found one that matched his mood, clicked on it and covered himself with his duvet.

The song playing wasn’t loud enough to block the sound that came from his door as it was opened. He cursed under his breath, shutting his eyes as he heard the footsteps drawing nearer.

“Felix, it’s me,” the intruder said, Felix’s eyes flying open. “I know you’re not sleeping. It’s seven am. You’re not one to sleep in like that.”

“Joanna?” Felix got up, pulling his headphones and duvet away from his head. “It’s you.”

“Yes, it’s me,” Joanna, his sister smiled, joining him on the bed. “You weren’t expecting to see me, right? No wonder you didn’t reply when I knocked.”

Felix moved close to his sister to look at her closely. “No, I wasn’t expecting you. How are you here? I mean, why are you here?”

“What do you mean?” Joanna faked a scowl. “This is my parents’ house and you’re still my little brother. Why can’t I be here?”

“Cause,” Felix began but hesitated. “Just kidding.”

Joanna looked at him suspiciously before laying on the bed. Exhaling, she pulled the duvet close to him and turned in her brother’s direction.

Formally Joanna Reuben now Joanna Constantine Rueben was the Rueben family’s first child and Felix’s elder sister. They were five years apart but one could barely tell. Growing up together, they were close as kids and even after Joanna got married, she still made time for her little brother.

“What were you doing?” Joanna asked her brother. “Writing?”

Felix nodded in response. His elder sister was the only one he could be completely honest like that to.

Being the second son of the Reuben family also came with its responsibilities. He wasn’t the perfect child like his sister and the reasons weren’t far-fetched.

Lucky were those who found out what they wanted to do soon enough. Right from their childhood, Joanna was a natural lawyer. Arguing and winning came natural to her and she followed that path by proceeding to study law immediately after graduating high school.

Felix on the other hand, wasn’t given that privilege. Their parents- Mr and Mrs Reuben were the brains behind the multinational architectural firm, Reubens. Having just two children and having one already have a dream, Felix was left with the duty of living his parents’ dream. Before he could object to it, him studying architecture was decided and concluded.

He didn’t have a problem with it until he clocked sixteen and figured out what he really wanted to do. He wanted to write. He wanted to create stories.

Not really surprisingly but his parents dissed the idea. For them, it was nothing but a hobby that was only going to last a while.

Writing however wasn’t the only thing he discovered about himself. Also when he was sixteen, he found out what species of humans he was attracted to- guys. It was new and fresh to him but he quickly accepted that side of him.

After being quiet for a couple of months, he decided to come out to his parents. He had already came out to his sister and a couple of high school friends and since they had been so accepting, he felt his parents were naturally supposed to know next.

It wasn’t as he imagined though. He had no expectations or high hopes from them when he decided to come out to them but he still felt a little disappointed.

He still remembered the day he came out to them like it was yesterday. It was one of the last days he had dinner with them on the table as a family. He was extremely nervous and his sister who was sitting next to him was doing everything she could to make him calm to no avail.

“Mum, dad,” he had said in a whisper hoping they wouldn’t hear but they did.

“Yeah, son?” his mum replied him almost immediately, making noises with her cutlery as they hit her plate. “Did you call me?”

“Yes, I did,” he said followed by a very deep exhale. He gave his sister a quick glance, to which she replied with a squeeze on his thigh. “I did call you. Both of you.”

“What is it?” his dad managed to say though his attention was still fixed on his phone.

Felix was silent for a while as he watched his parents return to what they were doing- his mum eating and his dad staring at colourful screens.

“Well, I think,” he began, watching their attentions slightly shift. “I think, no. Mum, dad, I am gay.”

His words seemed to do the trick as his mum’s cutlery hit the table making a sound as it did while his dad dropped his previous source of attention on the table.

“You’re gay?” his dad spoke up. “You think you’re gay?”

“Yeah,” Felix nodded. “I am…gay.”

“And how do you know that?” his dad gave him a questioning look. “Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No!” Felix replied, feeling his cheeks get flushed. “No, not yet.”

“And you’re sure you’re gay. Not bisexual?”

Felix shook his head.

“So you do not like girls?” his dad wasn’t done with his query. “Not at all?”

“No, I do not.”

“Oh, wow,” his dad said, leaning backwards. Felix leaned forward to look at his expression but it was an unreadable one. “How about you, Joanna? Do you also like boys? Or are you interested in girls?”

“No, no,” Joanna vehemently denied. “I like boys. I do like boys. A lot.”

“That’s great then,” his dad said in a tone hinting he was done with the conversation. “As expected of you, anyways. Well, it’s fine if you want to be gay Felix. Your sister here will bring us the grandkids we want and yeah, the future heir we need. So do your thing.”

“Oh, okay.”

And that was it. Felix wasn’t sure about what exactly he was expecting from his parents but he was sure it wasn’t what he got. He had expected their reaction to at least have more emotion in them.

That marked the beginning of Felix feeling odd towards his parents. For an unknown reason, he no longer began to feel comfortable in their presence.

Slowly, their relationship started worse. They were always at each others throats as they never seemed to agree on anything anymore. He was forced to go for a summer camp when all he wanted to do during the summer was take dance classes. Dancing was nothing more than a hobby to him but to his parents, it was a useless one.

At the age of seventeen, the kids in his class got highlights in their hair or completely dyed it. Felix felt it was a cool thing and also wanted to try it too but the idea was also rubbished by his parents as they believed it was going to make him look tardy.

The list was never ending. There was nothing Felix ever wanted he got. Unlike his sister, he wasn’t interested in getting new textbooks or getting new tutors or going to the salon to get his hair cut in a short tidy hairstyle.

On finally getting to college to study architecture as his parents wanted, he went wild. Dyed his hair multiple times and got extra piercings. Though his parents completely frowned at it, he even got a tattoo. By the time he was graduating, he was a totally different person- the only similarity between him and his parents being the degree in architecture he had and the last name they shared.

Brushing the unpleasant thoughts about his growing up away, he turned to face his sister. He was seated on his bed and he took that as an opportunity to look around his room.

Painted in cream colour and having multiple wallpapers around it, it looked decent. It wasn’t the most tidy it had been considering how frustrated he was before he went to bed which made him turn it upside down. By a corner, was a pile of his dirty clothes he had been too lazy to take downstairs to the laundry and next to it was the sneakers he wore out the previous night.

“What’s it about?” Joanna inquired, wide-eyed. “Is it a new book this time?”

Felix looked up to his sister finally remembering they were talking about his writing.

“Nope, at least not yet,” Felix squeezed his face. “It’s still the same one.”

Felix yawned, getting up. It was almost 8am and he had being awake since 4am trying to complete a chapter but it was unsuccessful one.

That was all he did at home. Graduating about a year ago, he handed his certificate over to his parents and became his own full time writer. His room was his office and he only left it to go out to the movies, concerts of his favourite artists and the bar once in a while.

“Well, good luck with it,” Joanna finally said then smiled. His smile was short-lived as he met Felix’s eyes and awkwardly looked away.

“What?” Felix shot his sister a suspicious glare. “What was that?”

“What? What are you talking about?” Joanna asked, eyes roaming the room.

“I knew something was up the moment you showed up here unannounced,” Felix said, adjusting his sitting position. “What’s it? Spill.”

“Nothing?”

“Joanna.”

“Look there’s nothing, okay?” Joanna said, flashing a fake smile at her brother as she placed a hand on his thigh. “I just came here to see you cause I hadn’t seen you in a while and I missed you. Nothing else.”

“Mhm Mhm,” Felix nodded. He knew something was up and knowing his sister well enough, he knew pestering her wouldn’t do the job.

“Have you had breakfast?” Joanna asked, cheerfully trying to change the topic. “I bet you haven’t. Let’s head downstairs and have breakfast with mum and dad!”

Felix scrunched his nose. “No, thanks. I’m good.”

“Whyyyyy?” Joanna literally whined.

“Cause,” Felix turned to face his elder sister. “We just don’t do that around here.”

Joanna knew what Felix meant. Her little brother didn’t have the best relationship with their parents and avoided them in every possible way.

“Okay, fine,” Joanna wasn’t giving up. “I get it and I’m not going to try to change your mind but just today? I’m here so just do that for me?”

“Fine fine,” Felix shook his head and grabbed a beanie to pull over his dyed hair. “I swear I’m doing this just because it’s you.”

“I know and I love you,” Joanna smiled at her brother, getting down from his bed. “By the way, your new hair colour looks great. What’s it?”

Felix flashed his sister a fake smile in return knowing deep down he was making a decision he was going to regret.

“It’s peach.”

---

It was to be just breakfast.

Their parents were already seated by the time Felix and Joanna made their way in. Apparently, they weren’t quite surprised Joanna decided to grace the table with her presence as their tone made it very obvious they’d been expecting her.

It wasn’t the same with Felix though.

“Felix, good morning,” their dad, Allen Reuben said to him watching him take a seat next to his sister. “I guess your sister was able to bring you downstairs.”

“Sadly.”

“Felix-” it was his mum’s turn to speak. “Just forget it. Just eat.”

Felix shrugged in response, mentally wishing he took her headphones with her as he left his room.

“Mum I’ve missed your cooking so much!” Joanna exclaimed, effortlessly being the good daughter he was. You have no idea how hard I try to get your recipes at home. It always ends up terribly and Alex never fails to make fun of me every time.”

“Oh, really?” their mum laughed at Joanna’s short story featuring her husband. “How nice to know you and your husband are happy.”

“Of course,” Joanna beamed.

Felix couldn’t help but smile a little at his sister. She was in love with her husband and though married for almost a year, it just felt like their love grew stronger every day. Alex obviously made his sister very happy and that was something Felix would be forever grateful to him for.

“My warm regards to him,” their father said, guarding a freshly cut piece of steak on its way to his mouth. “With that being said, I think it’s time we talked about-”

“Dad,” Joanna interrupted him before he could complete his sentence. “We agreed on just breakfast, right?”

“Yes, we did,” Allen chewed quietly. “We did but I think this is the best time to address it, Joanna.”

Felix looked around him. He watched his sister’s grip on her cutlery tighten and his mum empty a glass of water down her throat.

“What is going on?” Felix nervously asked.

“Nothing serious of course,” his dad replied then coughed. “Actually, Felix, we’re thinking you should get married.”

“Dad!”

Felix looked at his sister as she exclaimed. She dropped her cutlery and faced him. “I asked you not to tell him during breakfast. I was going to tell him myself.”

“When?” Allen asked his eldest daughter. “I do trust you but we don’t have all the time in the world to waste.”

“Yeah I understand you dad but you should have just left it to me,” Joanna continued. “It was hard enough to get him downstairs for breakfast.”

“For someone who doesn’t care about this family, you sure pamper him too much,” Allen finally said, shaking his head. “Felix-”

“Who is getting married?”

“You,” his dad replied him. “Wasn’t that already established from the few conversations we just had?”

“What?” Felix stifled a laughter. “Why would I be getting married?”

“Because,” his dad replied in a stern voice. “We’re tired of you and we feel the best thing to do with you right now would be to get you married.”

Felix exhaled, raising his head as his eyes met his dad’s. “I’m gay, dad. Have you forgotten that?”

“What does that have to do with this?”

“I don’t know what exactly you’re thinking but you can’t possibly be thinking of getting your gay son married to one of your business partners’ daughters, right?” Felix said to him. “What the hell am I even saying? Why the hell would I get married?”

Allen pulled his glass of water close to him and toyed with it for a while before replying his son. “I know you’re gay,” Allen replied. “And no, I’m not cruel enough to marry you off to any girl.”

“So?”

“There’s a guy,” he finally took a glass of his water. “Just like you, he’s gay and his parents are thinking of having him settle down.”

“So?”

“We believe it’s going to best for you to go with him,” he finally dropped the bomb. “To get married to him.”

“Excuse me?” Felix could barely believe his ears. “You both are kidding me right now, aren’t you?”

“Felix,” his mum looked at him. “You don’t do anything. All you literally do is stay at home and bring nothing positive to this family. And here we are, seeing an opportunity for you to be more than just the Rueben family’s second who doesn’t do anything. He’s a famous billionaire and he’s gay-“

“You both most think being gay means I’m attracted to every man or creature with a penis!”

“Mind your words, Felix-“

“Do not tell me to mind my words!” Felix cut his father off in a loud voice. “What are you all even talking about? Why would I get married to some random dude. I don’t even know him or even if I did, I do not want to get married.”

“Look at this from a brighter perspective, Felix.”

“You know, all my life,” Felix scoffed. “I’ve always thought you both were secretly homophobic towards me and here you both are. Asking me to get married to a man.”

“This isn’t about being homophobic or not,” his dad said then exhaled. “The youngest billionaire in our country is gay too. And luckily and quite surprisingly, they are interested in you. You should jump at it. This is an opportunity for you to be-“

“Cut it out,” Felix said, then looked directly at his dad. “Whatever you’re thinking, forget it. I’m not getting married to anyone.”

Allen Rueben exhaled. “I wasn’t asking for your opinion here,” he replied, his gaze not leaving Felix’s. “I’m telling you. You’re getting married, Felix.”

Felix laughed sardonically. “You should know me better than that. I’m not going to do anything just because you’re asking me to. Not to talk of getting married.”

“Of course,” Allen nodded. He knew his son at least that much. That wasn’t the first time he had being asked to do something. “This time however Felix, I’m very serious. There’s no opportunity for you to run around and ruin things like you always do. You’re getting married this time into a responsible family who are not interested in your history so you’d better take it serious and not try anything foolish.

“You make me sick.”

“You brought that feeling upon yourself,” Allen finally looked away. “Anyways, that’s that. You’ve been informed and preparations shall commence very soon.”

Felix got up from his seat. He had lost his appetite a long time ago and staying at the table any longer only increased his chances of throwing up the little food he had eaten.

There was something different about his dad’s tone, he couldn’t deny. His voice was colder than usual and had a stronger tone.

His sister came around too. Ever since she got married, she only came around when she had something extremely serious to talk about or when she sensed he was about to get into a huge fight with their parent.

“Well, I’d really love to see you try.”

It was his dad’s turn to get up to reply him. “Oh yes, you will.”