Bad Pick Up Lines Novels & Stories

“What’s the most confusing way a girl could break up with someone?” “I don’t know, but I sure do hope it doesn’t happen to me,” Fabian said with a chuckle. I got excited to share my lame joke, so I spun in my seat as far as the seat belt would let me so I could see him better. “Leaving a note on your old car she borrowed saying, ‘this isn’t working.’”

*Ritika Pov* "Oh my god!" I heard the screeching of stupid Kri in my ear. Here heard is completely a wrong word as it should be bared. "My dear Kri! I know you got some blindness and also little hearing problem but I just want to let you know that I am standing just beside you. I don't even have the hearing problem unlike you." I said with sympathy placing my hand on her shoulder. "You are such a boring person Ri. Why do you say such big lines?" She asked frowning.

“You’re…you’re you. You have probably a million girls at your fingertips. I bet if you snapped those fingers right now, one would come running.” “And?” “And… I don’t plan on being one of them,” I tell him. “I don’t do this. Meet guys in dark rooms. And it’s obvious this is normal for you. I’ll bet you see multiple girls at once. And that’s just not me. I’m not some random hookup. And I get the feeling, you can make me change my mind. That’d be bad for me.” “Good is overrated.” “Maybe that’s why I showed,” I say. “Good is overrated. It’s probably a terrible idea and I should let you return to your perfect life…”

Immediately, that stranger aroused an immense dislike in me, as he looked down at my body in an undisguisedly malicious way, like the perverts who used to frequent my mother's house, from whom I had spent my entire life running away. — Oh my! Did I die, go to heaven and now I'm being welcomed by an angel? — he said, staring at me with perversion. Would that ridiculous pick-up line work on anyone? — Did you come to the party? — Party? Yes. Of course. A party is always good. — It's in the garden. I'll show you the way — I offered politely.

He asks, his grin widening just when I thought it couldn't be too obvious, he proves me wrong. I cringe with disgust, at his weak attempt for a pickup line. “Don't waste your time, I'm not from around these parts. I don't play the games you do but I would don't better, piece of advice, you can't fuck seclusion out your system and that smile, tone it down just a tad bit because it doesn't hide anything you feel inside.” His smile fades as he stares at me in awe, I look away for a second, scanning the room for Arielle.

I’m an excellent chef, and I bet you’d really enjoy my sausage in your mouth. Ugh. Did this guy seriously just say that? It’s too early for this shit. And if his ‘sausage’ is the size of a breakfast sausage link, I don’t want it. You know what? I’m going to tell him that. Men need to learn sex innuendos and dick references aren’t what women want. EMomma: If your sausage is that small, no woman will want it. And FYI, women don’t want pick-up lines and dick references, least of all first thing in the morning. So, move along. We’re done here.

Apolo warns me, "he's drunk, he always does that." Unax stops pretending to smack her ass, and the last time he does it, his fingers brush against her. I'm not being hypocritical; I've only looked at her, fantasizing that I could fuck her again tonight because come on! She's hotter than many of the chicks I've been with. Paige is fine for a hookup; but I'm not humiliating the mother of my child. He stretches and looks at her with his eyebrows furrowed. Unax raises his hands.

That same conference managed to bring Terrence and me together, which led us to be here, today, now. *** “Hey! I saw you on the front row from where I sat and thought to myself, ‘Wow! What amazing hair!’” He had started, using the weakest pick-up line I had ever heard all my life. As a young lady, it was routine for men, both young and old, to walk up to me with different phrases that they thought were catchy enough to work on me as pick-up lines. The truth of the matter was, I always ended up dismissing all of them because they just tried too hard and yet never got too far.

Alex: I winced. So he knows? "Is there a problem?" I couldn't hide the smile, tugging at my lips. "Are your out of your mind? You're making this worse than it already is! I won't let you mess with my woman, do you understand?" "Dude, chill. I'm not trying to mess with anyone. But if I were, I'd probably start by using a better pickup line than 'you're messing with my woman'." I replied and I heard the sound of a glass shattering.

Let's see what he has to say for himself, I just smiled at him. “What is a hot girl like you sitting all by yourself?” He said. I wanted to vomit, really does that line actually work? “What's right into the pickup line? Never thought of saying Hello first. That might have worked, you know.” I said, sounding a smartass. “Really? Would you take a do-over?” He said, sounding so eager.