Dirty Orphan Jokes Novels & Stories

“But, I mean, if you’re that desperate, bro, I don’t mind jerking you off. Charity work. For old times’ sake.” I stared at him. Deadpan. For a full three seconds. Then I said, voice flat as asphalt, “Even as a joke, that wasn’t funny.” He threw his head back and howled while Ellis choked on his beer, coughing and laughing at the same time, tears actually forming at the corners of his eyes. It wasn’t fun being the fucked-up sideshow. I took one last drag then crushed the joint out in the ashtray so hard the glass cracked.

The room fell silent, all eyes turning towards him. “Well, folks,” Jerry began with a mischievous glint in his eye, “it looks like we’ve officially hit rock bottom. But hey, that means there’s no way to go but up, right? Unless, of course, someone hands us a shovel!” He mimicked the action of digging with an imaginary shovel, complete with sound effects. There was a moment of stunned silence. Damien raised an eyebrow, half-expecting an explosion of frustration. But then, one by one, the tension in the room broke as smiles appeared on the faces around the table. A few chuckles escaped, and soon the entire room was laughing.

She says this every time I try my best to crack a joke, no matter how dope I drop the joke she still invalidates my capability just because it’s an hour for her to understand the joke. "What? I'm serious I don't really know his name and Johnny seems fitting and close to a janitor, right?" "Ugh, but seriously though, what type of girl bones the school janitor? Is she like out of dick or something?" I can imagine Yhannie rolling her eyeballs from behind me. "She has a dick drought" I cracked trying my best not to laugh, but Yhannie followed through with the loudest laugh, and we both filled the room with nothing but laughter.

She hissed, “we need to leave immediately!” “Alright, alright.” I patted her arm. “I’ll just get the eggplants.” I turned and beamed widely at the worried girl. “Have you seen a brinjal this big and shiny?! It’s like—.” “A cock soaked in cum,” someone said. What...? My face feel deadpanned as it swivelled up to voice. An elderly man in Einstein’s age and appearance was bellowing in laughter at his own dirty joke, his round belly shaking uncontrollably.

“Everyone is planning for your downfall. Keep up the disinterested act when everything goes downhill.” “What do you want?” He asked “And you didn’t come up here to just tell me that thinking I will be scared. People do my job for me, of course people will talk, and I am alpha, everyone who is smart will want me down, and if you want to be an ally then you are just as stupid as they say every white wolf is.” She nodded “You are so dumb, and this is why Vivian cheats on you.” He didn’t say a word or move but she could smell the hurt, a pride was bleeding, and it wasn’t hers.

His booming voice filled the air with glee, As he entertained us, setting spirits free. "Let's say old time jokes, shall we?" Chants of 'yes' sounded around the room. "Did you hear about the vampire who opened a bakery? He got into a lot of trouble because his cakes were always too bloody." The room erupted with laughter, a joyful sound, As we all shared in the mirth that went around. Stephanie chimed in with a witty remark, Adding to the humor, making the atmosphere spark. "Alpha Darwin, have you heard the one about the talking dog?

“I don’t.” “You make jokes about them all the time.” “What jokes?” “Come on. They run after mail carriers, are obsessed with squirrels. There was that night we met that wet dog that stank so bad—” “It was a joke. I had never even smelled a Were at the time!”

His brother fell in love and finally became a comedian? Then Harold sent some jokes. Rhino saw the jokes and said to Calista, "Wanna hear a funny joke?" Calista was looking down and uttered,"Say." Rhino started to crack jokes. " A bear walks into a bar and says, 'Give me a whiskey and … cola.' The bartender looked at the bear and asked, 'Why is there a big pause between whiskey and cola?' The bear shrugged. 'I’m not sure; I was born with them.' " Calista smiled faintly. But her upsetness hadn't decreased even a little. Rhino was disappointed again. He told a few more jokes like this. But still Calista was not smiling. Rhino's rhythm was sweaty. It seemed to him that he was giving a big exam

He said it in a childish tone. "Oh really, but I though your name was Caleb." Jazz replied playing along. "Oh no, I am not Caleb. He disturbs people who want to be left alone but ME, I am Mr. Laughter people enjoy my company." "Oh really?" "Yes." He said it continuing the same innocent tone in his voice. "Shall I tell you a joke?" "Please go on." "Once there was an old man who died at a very young age hahaha..." He ended his short joke with his own laughter

His lips curled into a cruel grin. “Oh yes. Fake. An act. All so I could squeeze more money out of you. But who would’ve thought your useless self couldn’t provide any? And your father…” His laugh was bitter, sharp. “Your father went bankrupt. So pathetic. That’s what you are. Pathetic”. ------- That sentence gave me chills as I hurried out of the apartment, my feet carrying me like I was being chased. Shame washed over me as his twisted laughter echoed in my ears. Tears streamed hot down my face.