Dirty Orphan Jokes Novels & Stories

“Uncle Jerry, do you know any more jokes?” I glanced over at Iris, half-expecting her to shoot me down again, but she didn’t say anything. So, I leaned in toward Lyra, lowering my voice conspiratorially. “Alright, alright, here’s a good one. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?” Lyra’s eyes widened with curiosity. “Why?” “Because they don’t have the guts!” I said with a wink, and Lyra burst out laughing, her giggles contagious as Logan joined in, even though he probably didn’t get the joke.

Jordan scratched the back of his head. I stared blankly at him - once, twice. Then I burst into fits of laughter. It was so long, I just couldn't stop it. Jordan stood still, his face serious. "What? You think I'm joking?" "I meannnn" It was already weird that I had to go through Mishap curse and now I was dead? What kind of sick joke was that? "Yeah, I knew you wouldn't believe." He shrugged. "You see, we were shot and then we drowned into the pool and tada, we just appeared here. I think Angel Gabriel is outside but ...."

I’m Leo, and yeah, you’re probably wondering how a guy who got dumped three weeks before Thanksgiving is now standing on a major adult film set about to fuck the one and only Chloe Vance. It all started with one dumb comment. I was venting to Marcus about the breakup when he leaned over my shoulder. “Dude, the studio just dropped a contest. Bad holiday? Spill your sad story in the comments and win a shoot with a top star. Might cheer you up.” “Type something,” he pushed. “Fine.” I typed fast: “Gf left me three weeks before Thanksgiving because my dick game is apparently mid. Now I’ll be alone jerking off to p**n instead of being in it. Thanks, Turkey Day.”

"Remember that the other shoe slipped from his foot and was carried away by the waves to the shore." Their laughter exploded together in the silence of Ezra's forest house. Mila was very entertained by Felix's ridiculous jokes. At least that can relieve a little of her irritation at what Jonas is doing today. “Stupid joke. Where did you get that idea?” Felix tapped his temple. "From here. It's better than us wasting our time crying over Ezra's death." "I'm not sure Ezra would be happy if he was made the butt of a joke." “When else can we make fun of him like that, hmm? Are you feeling better now?”

“In fact, you can punch it if you want. Or try having a shark metahuman grab you and pin you to the ground.” “Are you trying to sound sexual right now?” Watson, Rachel, Emily and I gave Jack a stone cold look for his inappropriate joke. Watson placed a hand on Jack’s shoulder. “We admit you’re funny. But right now...it is not the time, bro.” “Right. Right.” Jack nodded, his blonde hair bouncing at the action and he bit his pointer knuckles afterward. “Sorry. I’ll stop talking now.” “Thank you.” I said and turned to Rachel again. “As I was saying-”

We looked back and Jenny wasn't around. "We're going to die, you know that right?" Benny asked me. "I'm sure I'll be a vampire tomorrow." I replied. "A zombie..." He said "A zombie prostitute!" We both spoke together and started laughing. It was an inside joke in our group, some years ago I listened to a song called Zombie prostitute by Voltaire with a very funny clip, so always when we said we were going to die, the joke was: come back as a zombie prostitute. I wiped the tears that were running from the corner of my eyes and walked to my bed.

“You know, Ruby, we learned a joke yesterday. Want to hear it?” I nod eagerly, intrigued by the joke that has captured their attention. “Alright,” Ethan begins, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Why don’t grumpy people like corn on the cob?” Playing along, I pretend to ponder the question. “Hmm, I’m not sure. Why don’t they?” “Because they think it’s ‘a-maize-ing’ that anyone could be happy!” Ethan bursts into laughter, and soon, the infectious giggles spread throughout the room.

Student names, printed in neat black letters. Hockey — Sebastian Vaughn. Of course. Of fucking course. I turned around and walked out. * * * The janitor's closet was the only place I could find that was empty. I locked the door behind me and leaned against a shelf of cleaning supplies. I slid down to the floor and put my head in my hands. I hadn't cried since yesterday, but I could feel it building. The lump in my throat was getting worse. I squeezed my eyes shut and a single tear started falling from my eyes.

The malicious speculation online kept getting worse and worse. "He's probably just trying to make money off of all this." "Only someone desperate for money would be insane enough to do this." "I suggest everyone stop sympathizing with them. This is just a stunt to grab public attention." Some people even started fabricating "tragic stories" about our family. One said that we owed millions of dollars in debt, another claimed Mom had a terminal illness, and some even said Dad was being chased by debt collectors and was going to jump off a building.