Dirty Orphan Jokes Novels & Stories

SCARLETT'S POV. I was completely right. The party was boring as hell, and from the looks of things we weren't even near done here. And then even worse, the annoying as fuck MC who thoughts his jokes were so funny but they were obviously not, had been wasting so much time on the third segment of the programme which was jokes and riddles, that I almost threw my shoe at him. If I heard one more uncle joke coming from his mouth, I could just do it right there, damning all the consequences.

“Jesse, my man, which is why I’m encouraging you to talk some more! It doesn’t have to be about anything life changing. If you were me I’d say crack a joke but I don’t know if you even know any jokes.” “I know jokes.” His face lit up. “Oh yes? Tell me one then.” “Can you guess what the therapist said when I told my therapist I’m scared of dying alone? “Uh, no what?” “He said, “Most people don’t die with the company,” I said, chuckling. “Get it?” Rain looked at Matt. “Matt, am I supposed to laugh at that?” “Ideally someone is supposed to laugh when they tell a joke,” Matt said with a sigh. “Jesse, what have I told you about your morbid jokes?”

"I don't like your ridiculous piercings. I don't like your ridiculous tattoos. I don't like those ridiculous pink shorts you're wearing right now. I don't like your ridiculous voice. I don't like your ridiculous Instàgram posts. Matter of fact, delete that group selfie you just took. I don't want me or my wife being on your ridiculous feed. It's embarrassing to be associated with you. You are ridiculous. The only reason people cling on to you is because of your rich dad." "Is this some sick joke?" "The only joke here is you, Leo." "Do you know who the fùck you're talking to?" "Yes." Damien nods. "I'm talking to Leo Giovanni. The biggest joke on the table. An embarrassment to his family. Fail

Then someone in the crowd sneered, their voice dripping with sarcasm. "Oh, that must be Sophia's sugar daddy. Showed up to defend her. She's not picky, is she. She'll take a guy in his fifties." The crowd erupted. Some covered their mouths, laughing. Others joined in openly. "Yeah, I heard she doesn't care about age. Maybe this old man's a regular too." The dean's expression tightened. He turned sharply toward the crowd. "All of you–shut your mouths!" He glanced at my injuries, his voice urgent.

This is the most goals joke as long as I've heard. "You're kidding, right? I swear! That's funny. Wow! If you join to stand up comedy, I make sure you can be the winner." "Na," said Mommy quietly. Chiko still showing his smile. "I'm serious and this is not a joke. You can tell the difference too, right?" Shit!

“Why would I change when you’ll never stop trying to earn a joke from every situation?” “Isn’t life more fun with jokes? Something to laugh about once in a while. You know, it makes the world beautiful and fun when it’s dark. Studies even say laughter heals faster than herbs do. Lowers pain, strengthens the heart, clears the head. Makes the blood flow freer. In short — that’s why I’m looking younger and living longer. Which of those old people in the pack is as old as me, uh? None. I’m the oldest.”

I'm guessing u didn't laugh tate_kvngh: I laughed, Eddie. Don't worry. You didn't really embarrass yourself that much. T'was a good one. tate_kvngh: I have one for you too, knock knock. EdwardBlack1794: that's more like it cupcake :D Who's there? tate_kvngh: Harmony EdwardBlack1794: harmony who? tate_kvngh: harmony knock knock jokes do you have? tate_kvngh: HAHAHAHAHAHA laugh with me or I'll hate you forever >_<

She laughs at her own joke. “In a year, you’re going to be changing diapers and you’ll lose your edge,” Hamish mimes changing a diaper as Benjamin pretends to smell it behind him. “We’re gonna have to send a fruit basket to Margot. A sympathy gift.” Benjamin joins in and they all chuckle as if these jokes aren’t the worst they’ve heard. I came from a smart family, not comedians and it showed.

I love it when Jorge smiles at me. We were laughing about my latest pay in Cards Against Humanity. The black card asked us to complete the sentence, “Nothing in life is certain except death and ….” I put “kids with ass cancer.” “Damn girl, you are against humanity,” Jorge joked, laughing like music to my ears. “Sorry, I didn’t have anything else,” I laughed back. Stretch my legs out and Jorge picks them up. He starts rubbing my ankles. “I can’t believe my pregnant sister made that joke,” Solen choked out as he laughed.