Drunk Funnies Novels & Stories

Sunny called me on video at 1 am, but I hung up without looking twice. He called again, and I answered, ready to snap, only to find Andy sitting alone, drinking. His eyes were puffy, and he looked like he was crying. One of his rich kid friends came and said, "Hey, did you know what I saw earlier? Jane was coughing blood!" Andy kept drinking in silence, while Sunny said, "Probably more of her tricks to tempt my cousin. But y'all know Andy—Mandy is the only one for him, and there's nothing Jane can do about it."

” Kayley ~”Girl you are fucking crazy. Kayley ~”Can I have her on my crew baby?” Jackson ~”Yes baby you can.” It is getting hilarious now watching the two dumb asses getting drunk. Not that we are any better, in fact we are worse. Kayley ~”Matt say that again.” Matthew ~”Drunk I am think I am.’ Jackson ~”You are a fucking tonsil.” Drake ~”Tonsils are in your mouth.” Jackson ~”And your mouth is out of fucking order.”

Brooke said. Lone drunk men DO stumble into Ladies' rooms - usually to vomit. Frat brothers hit on each other's girls - men are pigs. Greeks are pigs with tie pins and secret handshakes. Drunk people do not demolish another person's drink then offer up their own. The spilling of alcohol is a drink-worthy event which you can't do if you have given your drink away.

92 : "Drunk & High" Drunk & High 92 T A T E The loud music was busting up these four walls of the club, it was pretty pretty loud almost deafening to the ears. I can't even hear my own thoughts, it's crazy. Most men were into groups of four to many were all busy drinking and chattering. Most slut looking women that were around were dancing up against a man or two that they probably just met while I'm here drowning myself with troubles and pain.

I uttered, and just as expected, after having six shots, we are already getting drunk. Yhannie was already starting to give me that horrible drunk laugh. I admit I missed every single sound of it. She's now telling me some funny things that have happened to her, and I instantly became jealous of her. She had a fascinating life after I was gone, while my life wasn't that exciting, except for some of the pleasures I've got from hookups.

83 MILO’S POV We already had a couple of drinks and everyone seemed to have gotten a little drunker. The lads were starting to laugh louder and started becoming nosier which only happens when they have consumed an amount of alcohol. Jasper was getting a bit louder than his usual state when he is sober and he’s as loud as Silas’ laugh which is a hundred times more contagious now. When Silas is drunk, to him everything is fucking funny.

He gave me a weird stare. “What?” he gave me a weird look. “Please! I need it!” “You need it… like… sex?” He asked making me freeze in silence. “Eww you are so annoying!” “hmn.” He hummed irritating me more. “But honestly, the best way to stop drunkenness is sex. And why do you wanna stop? What's the fun of drinking anyway if you ain't high?” “Fun of drinking?” I scowled. “There is no fun in drinking okay. It’s… idk.”

I saw it—Gideon Salton taking cash from his buddies, one after another. That was when it clicked: I was just the punchline in some bet. The ones who lost laughed first, then rolled their eyes like I was the idiot. "Madison Montclaire, do you even get how much I lost 'cause of you? Use your brain for once." "We've told you a million times—Gideon's way outta your league. You really thought he'd marry you?"

“Yeah, and you know what’s the worst part? He is hot. Infuriatingly hot. It’s like the universe played some cruel joke. ‘Hey, here’s a guy who’s a total jerk, but let’s make him look like a freaking god just to mess with you.’” Ellie smirked, raising her glass again. “Maybe it’s a good thing you’re stuck with him. You are hot, he is hot. If you ever had kids, they would be ridiculously hot. Like, the world wouldn’t be able to handle it. That’s a lot of hotness.” I snorted. “Yeah, if he doesn’t rip the baby from my stomach first.” We both burst out laughing, the absurdity of it all hitting us at once. The alcohol was doing its job, and suddenly everything was funny—too funny. The more we dra