Drunk Funnies Novels & Stories

I yelled. “I am the machine,” she grunted. I couldn’t breathe from laughing.We played for an hour until half the group was crying on the floor from laughter. “Alright,” I said, standing dramatically. “Who wants fancy drinks?” “ME,” everyone said in unison like a cult. I brought out the strawberry vibe punch, sparkling apple juice, orange soda, lemon slices, mint leaves, and those tiny colorful umbrellas that make everything feel like a vacation. Maya mixed something purple and horrifying.

I wish I had been nice to her before and had not put her into those silly prank stuff when we were younger. However, Annie who had been crying earlier expressing her deep emotion is now getting drunk. She had been topping up her glass of wine and had also been mixing some strong alcohol in it. Her eyes are getting droopy that she doesn’t care much for her surroundings. She made some grunting noises as she closed her eyes. Joanna and Leonna look at Annie and then to each other, then they burst out laughing. “Can you remember the time that you had ever been drunk, the worst one?” asked Leonna to Joanna.

I was bent forward mumbling incoherent words under my breath. "Hey you okay?" Hulk asked sounding concerned. I look up at him and grinned. I felt so light, so free. It seems to be the alcohol doing, thanks to whatever that stuff is. "I'm great" I slur out with a giggle. I had no idea what was funny but I was feeling too good right now and I didn't care if I was laughing for no reason at all "I need another glass" I mumbled sadly, staring at my now empty glass with a pout.

Lack of partying, that’s how. I return to the group of extremely inebriated friends. As they walk, talk, and slur, I laugh at myself. They are a fun group of lightweights, enjoying a weekend of no-holds-barred-drinking. I use my phone to video and take still photos of the hilarity for replay tomorrow, while I enjoy my bottle of water that goes unnoticed by the group.

So no Scooby-Doo mysteries were solved here. "You're right." Drunko leaned into my space, specifically in the "your too close zone" as he chugged some drink that smelled like pure gasoline. He belched, obnoxiously loud and right in my face. The nerve of some people's children… "Hey, dude." Do not scissor-kick this dingus in the face, self, don't do it! "You mind easing back some? Trying to strip here." My complaint fell on dumb drunk deaf ears: "Hey you, elf chick, do some magic or something! Do a spell!"

But then he started going out with his buddies to the local bars to watch college football or play pool practically every weekend. It was fun at first, getting tipsy together with our friends. I always went out with him. Gradually, as the months passed by, Randy couldn’t have fun with a couple of drinks. Almost every time we went out, he drank until he could hardly walk or stand. I quit going to the bar with him after one night when he threw up all over me and laughed about it while I was sitting on his lap playing a round of darts with our friends.

A few hours later. I can't say I'm fully drunk; I'm a bit beyond tipsy, but I can still navigate. However, Elena is completely out of her mind drunk. We sway and dance unsteadily as we make our way to our rooms. I do my best to steady both Elena and myself as I pull her along to her room. Once inside her room, we collapse onto her bed. She turns away and starts laughing. "You're so drunk, Iron Man. I miss Diego, I hate Diego, I hate my mother, I hate everyone—except for Daddy."

But there’s a limit to everything. If shifters drank enough, quick enough—enough that would kill a human—they could get drunk. But it was short-lived when the drinking stopped, fewer than twenty minutes. She’d never giggled so much in her life. Actually, she thought all her brother’s friends were lame and show-offish. Now she added dork to that list of adjectives. One of said friends laid an arm across her shoulders. “Hey there, short stuff,” he said. “How’s it going down there?”

Who knew compulsion would be this aggravating to deal with? A bunch of drunk people were now dancing, laughing, choking and making out, you name it. It was wild and a mess in here and I honestly don't understand how people could enjoy places like this. It was disgusting, noisy and anything but fun. Dexter dragged me through the crowd and my eyes widened when I saw Lianna near the bar, having a casual drink with Draven. Lianna looked fine. Draven on the other hand, was definitely drunk. I could tell even from this distance. The way his head kept swaying a little before he gulped down another shot.

Kimber asked. "Wow," Erin said, repeating everyone's earlier assessment of Kelly's outfit. "Shots!" Drake yelled. He turned and cocked his head at the bartender. "Hey Kelly, this one is for you," he said. "Can I get 11 red-headed sluts?" The bartender nodded and took Drake's card and started a tab. Kelly turned and flipped him the bird, being the red-headed slut from his joke. "So are you gonna dance tonight?" Marie asked Kelly, sliding close to her.