Funny Christian Jokes Novels & Stories

"Why were you crying at the park bench that night?" "Austin got his second Jordan while my gift under the christmas tree was invisable. They didn't get me anything just like the year before and i got upset." He looked at her after snorting laughter. "What is so funny?" She asked "Not getting a gift on christmas is a slap yo the face when you're a kid and you know it." He nodded his head in agreement then shoot another question. "So if you go to the new owners, wouldn't they give you an address or a phone number?"

His sharp eyes quickly followed their movement, then he licked his lips a second after. My heart drummed. "Ha-ha, you've got jokes." I rolled my eyes playfully. "Sounds exactly like what an axe murderer might say." He tilted his head. "Maybe I am one." "I don't even find that the least funny in this situation." He laughed, vibrating deeply off his chest. My belly flipped, and I almost smiled at the genuine sound of it. He leaned closer to me, his lips lightly tracing the sides of my neck. "I'm Christian." He paused, his voice growing raspy. "But only because I want to hear you moan it."

Christian feigns sadness again and then cries like a child. creating excessive crying sounds that make Baby laugh at the ridiculous behavior of a man who makes him feel happy and loved. Baby joins in the pretense, hugging Christian's shoulder. Baby acts like a mother trying to persuade her child not to sulk anymore. "Stop crying .... come on don't cry .... let's buy ice cream, ok." Christian could not stand it then stopped acting and his face turned sullen. "Why do you coax me like a mother is coaxing her son? Should you talk to me like a girlfriend who cares so much, it will make me happier."

“Frankie said you took a plate upstairs. And I saw – and smelled – that plate all over the floor a little further down the hallway.” Something about how he says this makes me spin in an instant, sitting up to glare into his grey-blue eyes. “None of this is funny, Christian,” I snap, immediately livid that he would dare to make a joke about this. “I spent this entire fucking day packing off your devastated sister-in-law while you ignored me, after –“ “You’re right,” Christian says, his face falling as he reaches out to cup my cheek in his hand. “You’re right, Iris. I’m sorry – I shouldn’t have tried to joke. It’s – none of it is funny.”

Still not sure what he was talking about, Cadence debated about whether or not to tune him out or ask for clarification. She didn’t have to do either when he said, “I asked Aaron if he explained that Vampire hunting is like a box of chocolates and Dax never knew what he was gonna get, and our bossman, who often hasn’t got a funny bone in his body, looked me right in the eye, and in his best Tom Hanks impersonation said, ‘Mama always said dying is a part of life.’ I laughed so hard, I thought I might piss my pants.” “Why is that funny?” Christian asked as they reached the office building.

I cultch my head. I hear Christian laugh. "Not funny." ▪️▪️▪️ "What are you watching?" Christian plops down next to me on the bed. "The Lion King," I say looking back at the TV. "What's that?" He says looking at the TV. "It's a kids' movie." "Have you ever watched it before?" I try to contain my surprise. "I don't think so." He shrugs. "I laugh in the face of danger. Hahaha." I repeat the quote from the movie. "You don't recognize it?"

another teased, making everybody laugh. "I never imagined that I would be this happy guy. All my life, I have thought that my heart was meant for someone special, and just when I got tired of love! Miriam came into my heart in a grand style and right now she has robbed my whole heart." Christian let out making his friends laugh. "Congrats man, who would have thought you would be mad over heels for Miriam," His friends said. All too soon the cheering died down when a lady on a mask and jacket walked over to them.

“She’s the perfect match for Vince!” The group of men, including Christian, laughed at his dumb joke. I didn’t know how he did it. Laugh at his friend who had gone through a difficult time behind his back, and laugh in his face, pretending to be some hero. Beau’s face tensed. I could tell by his uncomfortable posture that he didn’t appreciate the joke, which was hilarious, considering he was pretty high on the list of the most horrible people I ever met. “I don’t think we should talk about Vince while he’s not here to defend himself.” He had protected him yet another time.

Harvey was emotionless, as if he had little regard for the situation at hand. “Why don’t you try another slap in the face?” “You’re dead, brat!” “Even God can’t save you now!” “Now that I’ve said so…” Christian drew in a deep breath, his face utterly wretched. “...I’ll make your life a living hell!” Christian picked up a beer bottle. Harvey laughed, amused. “Can you really do that?” “Jax couldn’t fight back when I kept slapping him in the face. Denver couldn’t even get out of bed after I crippled him…”

"Christian complained, pouting his lips. "Don't give me that look, Chris. I swear, I will forget that you are not in your senses. And will claim you right here, right now. I am warning you.",Samson warned, his eyes still stuck on his lips. "Ahaha...Ahaha..",Christian started crying like a baby, when he felt Samson raise his voice on him to which Samson got worried. "Don't cry baby. I am just joking to you. Please don't cry. Yeah I am a devil. You were right but please don't cry.",Samson requested, resting his head on his chest while patting his head like a mother did to her child.