Funny Stories Cats Novels & Stories

His body radiated a stinking odor, causing the cats to stink as well! Sonnia complained in a soft voice, "Did you see that? That homeless man comes to my café everyday and sleeps on the floor all day long after ordering a cup of coffee. No matter what I do, he won't leave." As she spoke, the unhygienic homeless man hugged the cats next to him and blissfully rubbed his face on their fur, revealing a sinister smile. He smelled their fur as if he was on drugs before lying on the ground like a dead dog. However, the cats seemed to fancy him and gathered around him.

She kept jumping from one story to another with the effortless energy only a child could muster. I felt something shift inside me, a warmth I hadn't experienced in years. This cute little girl, with her innocent charm, warm and carefree attitude, was slowly but surely melting the ice around my heart. "And then, Tommy climbed all the way to the top of the bookshelf! Can you believe it? Mummy was so worried, but I told her cats always land on their feet. Do you have a cat, Sir?" I found myself chuckling, a sound so foreign to my own ears that it almost startled me. "No, I'm afraid I don't have a cat. But it sounds as if Tommy is quite the adventurer."

Vincent laughed, which annoyed his friend even more. “Do you think it’s funny?” Wiping his wet eyes, Vincent answered, “Yeah.” “HA HA HA,” Jackson gave him an excessive laugh before he pointed to the cat, that aws biting and scratching the sofa. “That’s funny?” Vincent was ignorant and said, “Why? She’s cute.” “Cute my ass! I bought my shoes for $500! And the CUTE LITTLE FELLA, pooped in my shoes!” “That’s not expensive. My shoes are $2000.”

“You’re totally having a girl. Trust me, I have a sixth sense for these things.” “You thought my waiter’s cat was pregnant last month,” I reminded her. Naomi flushed. “Okay, but to be fair, it looked pregnant.” “It was a male cat.” “Fine, bad example,” she huffed, but she was smiling. I couldn’t help but smile too. For a blissful thirty minutes or possibly more, we giggled over miniature shoes and impossibly soft blankets, debating whether babies really needed hats with animal ears or if that was just a scam to sell more fabric.

"Now it's the turn of the small talk." A man near her was telling an anecdote about how he lost his house while playing poker. Cat joined the audience and laughed at the appropriate places. The story wasn't funny at all, who was playing for a whole building? Only people who have had the money in both ears and who probably only noticed the loss of a property after months. Still, she was flirtatious and cultured, toasting the speaker with the others after he finished. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed at the same time that Dareon was talking to an elderly lady. Apparently she found him very amusing. When the pack was lost, Cat walked over to the outspoken gamer and smiled charmingly at

Clover "I don't like cats" he scrunched his nose as he said it. I gasped and asked " why not?"" They're creepy, I'm not really good with animals in general" he said. I giggled, " I think they're cute, with their cute nose and their little feet and their sparkly eyes and their mischievous nature-""pfft" he scoffed. I glared at him, " why are you laughing?". He glanced at me then looked out of the window.

She lay back, breathing hard, trying not to cry. The low grumbling voice momentarily snapped her from the pain. "Well, guys, what do we have here? It stinks like a dog and it's stupid enough to get caught in a wolf trap. It must be one of Nicolas' pack that escaped when we killed the rest of those sniveling mutts." Mandy stared at three enemy cats, and wondered if her life could get any worse. ***

That way, it would be easier when it was time to give her up. The small feline glared back at me and climbed onto my lap more determinedly, giving a loud, demanding meow. I bared my teeth at the angry-looking cat. “I’m not gonna pet you. For all I know, you could be a fellow criminal like your owner. Hell, you could be the mastermind.” When a low snicker reached my ears, I looked up to find Mom trying to hold in a laugh. “What?” I demanded. “It could be true.”

The adults in the room looked at him confusedly. “He’s like a devil to his enemies. See, he likes to play in the forest and comes back with a chunk of fire slime flesh, or the leg of a bird, or a dead fish. He makes my friend very surprised that she thought her heart stopped. If you know cat’s habits, this is a sign of love from them. They give you these dead animals, or chunks of it, that they had proudly hunted, for you. Cats cannot make gifts like humans do, those are their ‘gifts’. It’s not to make fun of us, that’s just the only thing they could think of to gift us. Because that’s their custom, animal custom.” Jai explained.

“And I just… write things sometimes… stupid stories…” “Stupid stories?” She nodded. “Silly things.” I tipped my head. “That’s what they are, are they? Silly things?” Another nod, and I raised an eyebrow. “Well, that really is a shame considering I’ve just abandoned my family Christmas to drive back across the country on the back of these silly stories.” She couldn’t gulp a breath quick enough. “I made the cat up,” I continued. “A silly story of my own under the circumstances, so I think that puts us on a par with the falsities, don’t you?”