Funny #twilight Novels & Stories

Twilight sighed with a smile. “Sorry to disturb, but just make sure you don’t burn the house down.” Ethan looked away, embarrassed, while Lucian nodded. “Go fuck Eric,” Lucian said teasingly, and Ethan almost nudged him in the groin. Twilight shook her head amusingly and left the threshold. • Meanwhile, that same night, Cole finished his work really late. The owner had offered him to stay in one of the restaurant’s spare rooms, but Cole politely denied.

My breath fanned his bare chest, and I saw goose bumps form around the area. “I know I’ve said that before… but I really mean it. I regret putting you into this shit storm,” I continued, proceeding for a while longer before finishing: “I can only imagine how overwhelming all of this is to you. I mean, who would’ve thought—werewolves with special abilities? What is this, Twilight?” At this point I broke off into a nervous chuckle. Some part of me half expected Hector to at least humour me, and so when he didn’t I glanced up, hoping to at least see him smiling at me.

“Yeah, werewolves from Twilight. I’m one.” “Ever heard of weretigers? From Sundown,” Beth added before I could say a word. If it was also a movie, I didn’t know it. “I’m one.” I laughed when I realized the joke. My mate was pretty and intelligent, and whoever marked her didn’t tell her shit about werewolves. The lingering tension dissipated. Beth smiled. I wanted to do everything I could to make it permanent. I should take a picture. But it would be considered weird, and I had shown her enough weirdness in one evening.

Tara’s slap landed with a sharp, crisp *smack*, echoing through the room. For a brief moment, Wesley’s expression changed, but he quickly twisted it into a deranged smile. “Feisty, huh? I like that.” Tara raised her right hand to strike him again, but he caught her wrist. She lifted her left hand, but he grabbed that one too. Wesley’s eyes glinted with menace. “This little bit of fight in you? It just makes it more exciting. Once the stuff fully kicks in, you’ll be begging me for more!”

A slight smile appeared on his face before he went back into enforcer mode. “I’ll talk to Quinn once we are back in Chicago. You’ll just have to find a way to keep me in her good graces once I do.” She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. “You have nothing to worry about. I’m sure she’ll realize what it means to be mated to you. She watched Twilight in high school.” Sean gagged, faking dry heaving. “Ugh. Why the fuck would you bring up that trash? Werewolves don’t just run around half naked in the woods…” Claire’s raised eyebrow silenced him. “Ok. Not ALL wolves run around half naked in the woods”.

Andre even went so far as to yell, "Jane! I'm not dead. I'm your real fiancé, Andre! Come out and see me, Jane! I don't believe you've stopped loving me…" I opened the door and addressed everyone regretfully, "Look at this madman. He's delusional. Everyone knows my ex-fiancé died on the battlefield. How could he possibly be standing here now?" The crowd burst into laughter. "Exactly! How shameless of the Twilight pack to resort to such dirty tactics!" "In my opinion, Andre Ackhurst was never good enough for Jane anyway. His death is probably for the best. At least Jane stands a chance at happiness!" "Get lost! Don't stand in our way of courting Ms. Jane!"

"I need a spacious living room, an airy kitchen, and a sex swing." "An air—hold up, what now? Sex what?" "Sex swing," he says, nodding. "For when we entertain. Didn't I mention? We're getting into swinging." I groan, face in my hands. "That has to be the worst joke in the entire world. I'm serious, Scar, I can't decide if I'm offended because of the jab at my parents or offended because it's so lame." "Sorry, couldn't help myself." "Honestly, I've never been less attracted to you right now."

I said, like singing a song and soon they both stop crying and looking at me with their big doe eyes. Awww....... I can't even say it in words that how much I love kids. They are like a sun rays in anyone's life, if you saw there smile before moving out of your house, your day become happy and blissful. I was looking at them when one of them put his head on the crook of my neck and then other do the same. Typical twins habit. Hehehe. I smile at their this adorable thing. Awww cutieeees.

she said, already pulling out her phone. I hated to admit it, but damn that sounded good. Maybe just a couple pieces of greasy heaven… Half way through a twelve pack of beer and a large pizza, Hailey and I were in a fit of giggles talking about the night we got drunk and skinny dipped with a foreign language professor. He was a panther shifter and rather agile. Ohh that was a good night. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK My head jerked to the door and I sighed, immediately knowing that one or both of the twins was at my door. Hailey must have known it too.

Shit, that confession is stupid if he doesn't want me then he shouldn't have told me about it. “You crawled,” she said seriously that made me blink twice so fast and tilt my head to the right. Later on, she blurted into laughter while keeps on pointing at me. “That is funny if only mom and dad were here and saw that reaction of yours. Of course, you walked on your two feet moron. How can you not know how you got home? What is happening to you?” she explained still laughing. “What happens when two werewolves mated to each other but the other rejects its mate?” I asked and my sister Akira suddenly stopped laughing and she gave me a confusing look before she gazed at her mate Scar.