Funny Ways To Die Novels & Stories

“Hold on. You don’t really mean that, do you?” “I mean it,” I said, keeping my tone as casual as possible while examining the dress’s delicate lace. “She died from an intense paper cut. So I heard. It was really pitiful. Tragic, even.” “No way!” She covered her mouth, eyes wide with disbelief and barely contained laughter. “That’s so… random. I’ve never heard of anyone dying from that. I swear rich folks are wired differently.” “There’s always a first time for everything,” I replied with a shrug, fighting my own smile.

Because we’re rotten. I want to pass away in peace because of old age, so my child will know that I lived a fulfilling life. That I can slowly wither away because my early days are colorful and I have already lived the best years of my life. So my child will know I died happily. Not because I was shot in the head with fear in my eyes, or because I stabbed myself with shame and sadness. I want to die glamorizing my early days because, for me, that’s the best way to die. With satisfaction and happiness.

He froze. "You-. can-. See-. Me-. Right? Kiikikikik." He thinks this is the end of his life that he always longed for, but still, it's pathetic if he dies due to a paranormal experience like this. As he accepted his destiny, he heard chuckles from various directions. “Pfft-haha. Hahahahaha." “Hahahaha Havi, you are funny!” “Did you catch it on camera? His face is so tense! You're nuts, dude! Ha ha ha ha!" Clement laughed so hard that he even clutched his stomach.

“How are you feeling?” Zen groaned. Honestly, he felt like this was the worst sleep he had so far. Father Clarence was looking at him with eyes of concern, wondering what the boy did to return to the church this soon. Didn’t he mass craft the healing salves? Suffocation and drowning were probably some of the more terrifying ways to die. Honestly, Zen preferred to die from fall damage or get beaten up until his HP dwindled away. It would not be as brutal as smelling slime butts. Even getting shot to death might be slightly better. It was less embarrassing if Zen ignored how he died semi-naked.

Charlie nodded his head as he laughed and said disdainfully, “I have never believed that there could be a person who could be very courageous no matter what happens!” After that, Charlie looked at everyone who was kneeling in front of him, including Gibson, Gibson’s family, and Max before he said sharply, “I can be very responsible and I can tell you that today will be your death anniversary. None of you will live past today. However, there are many different ways to die. Some methods of death might be very painful and some methods of death might be very fast. Whether it is a fast or painful death would depend entirely on your own performance.”

“You want to fight with the judge with your IQ? Hurry up and cut off your internal organs. If you don’t cut off your internal organs soon, there won’t be enough time. When the time comes, your brain will be pierced by high heels!” “What a waste of time. The countdown is almost half over. Hurry up and cut off her internal organs!” “This woman won’t cut off her internal organs until her head is blown off by the high-heeled shoes, right? That would be too boring!” “No, not many people are willing to wait for death when they have a chance to live. At least, a scumbag like her can’t do it!” “You didn’t see her expression. I’m dying of laughter. My smile froze!”

At first, I was shocked by the large amount of money they put into their stupid bet, but soon the shock was replaced with astonishment by their wild imagination. Death by drowning was, of course, there, and no surprise it was Boris's pick. They also included driving into a ditch, choking on food, even breaking my neck after falling from the stairs, and many other stupid things. It may sound insensible, borderline sadistic to bet on my death, but in their defense, it all happened to me before.

“ the sea will definitely carry you away from this world. You will get no grave, no funeral. No one will cry for you. ” “ Stop saying such horrible things to me. ” She hissed, forgetting her misery and getting angry instead. “ Why choose such a difficult death when you can take a shot of any poison and kill yourself easily? That will create less of a ruckus, don’t you think? You can even go in front of Tyson and tell him you are dying because of him to guilt-trap him into regretting your death for the rest of his life. Isn’t that a better idea than to die silently and so painfully like a loser? ” I suggested even when I knew she would possibly choose the loser option. Most of the people did.

Hopeless to call on Dean, it'd only distract him. You know how people say, you only know what you have when you lose it? I guess, it was then I appreciated the friendship with Dean. My life back on earth, everything. I could remember Dean licking ice cream for the first time as it fell on his shirt and he licked it. Said, nothing this delicious should go to waste. I laughed, but no sound came out. It was funny, being in front of death yet only happy memories I thought about. Life is funny like that, you only remember the best, when you're faced with the worst case scenario. You laugh out loud when you're dying, not because you're happy, but because death is comical.

I groan hopelessly, falling back to the ground. "The easiest way to die is to kill yourself. That way, you will be relief from all this. No one can kill you except yourself." Nana scoffed. "You are wrong." Jaden's voice came in at that moment, drawing everyone's attention to him.