I'm Hurting Novels & Stories

So in the end, my facade broke down, revealing my shattered self. Sa huli, humupa rin ang galit, mas nangibabaw ang sakit. Ang bawat salita kong ang intensiyon ay saktan siya at magalit sa kaniya ay mas nakakasakit lamang sa akin. My words which were intended to hurt him hurt me more.

mahina pa akong tumawa. "It's not that I'm gonna break it," he also laughed. "Kahit na. Mas maganda kapag advance para safe. I don't wanna get hurt. I'm too tired of enduring pains. It's not easy, you know." "Who hurt you? Why are you acting like you've been hurt before?"

Napaismid ako. Nakita ko nga ang pangyayaring ‘to sa personal pero mapapersonal man o sa picture ay gano’n pa rin ang hatid nitong sakit. I’m hurt but I’m not angry with any of them kasi sila naman dapat talaga.

How he gave me his charming and warm smile. It's killing me. Our memories are killing me. I breathed heavily dahil nahihirapan na akong huminga. My head is even throbbing. I can't simply ignore what I'm feeling. I was broken, at alam ko sa sarili ko na mahirap na 'kong buuin ulit.

“Then they’ll figure it out. That’s not on you.” Tahimik ulit. Ang bigat sa dibdib ko parang hindi lang dahil sa lagnat. “I don’t want to hurt them,” I whispered. “I know,” he replied. “That’s why you’re the one getting hurt.” That was when I fell completely silent. It felt like I was slapped gently, but straight to the heart. Heartbroken. Hopeless. Napapikit ako, at dahan-dahang umikot ang dibdib ko. Hindi ko alam kung dahil sa lagnat o sa sakit na parang unti-unting bumabaon.

Hinawakan ko ang aking pang ibabang labi. Pinisil pisil ko iyon. I'm trying to hurt myself so I could ignore that little hurt I'm feeling in my heart. Pinakawalan niya ang isang buntong hininga at binuksan muli ang aking pintuan. Kumalabog ang puso ko.

“Gusto mo ba sabihin ko na, layuan mo na si Jami at huwag na huwag kakausapin— tingin mo makikinig ka? Tingin mo ba lalayo ka? Hindi ‘di ba?” Sumbat ko pa tsaka ko nasapo ang mulha. “I wish you didn’t just open up the topic I’m forgetting for a week.” Singhal ko. “I’m sorry—“ “Yeah, sorry. How many times do you have to apologize to realize that you’re fucking hurting me? That I am hurt? That I am crying because of you everyday?” Nagtatampo at masama ang loob kong sabi.

I am always happy but why I am weak and crying now? "Please stop hurting." I whispered. Smacking my chest but it never helped. The pain is still there and it's hurting me to the core. Lalo lang lumalala ang sakit na aking nararamdaman. Pakiramdam ko ay may mga maliliit na karayom na tumutusok tusok sa aking puso at halos mamanhid na ako sa sakit. Maybe I was really born for this. I was born to broken like this. Hindi na kasi ako nadala. Kung sana...

I instantly faced my back into him and smiled bitterly. He can't even hold on me for a moment. He doesn't even follow me. Tears started to make its way on my checks. Damn, why am I allowing you to hurt me like this?

Mabilis din agad ang hakbang niya pabalik sa loob at hindi na siya tumingin pabalik sa akin. My head is hurting, and so is my heart, and unexpectedly, my tears fall without notice. Damn me. . c.m. louden